Urgent for Peisi Chen's prose "Examination" lines, there is a supplement! Urgent!

The lines in Peisi Chen's prose Examination;

Let me introduce myself to you. My name is XXX.

My name is XXX.

Today we will tell you a cross talk.

Make everyone happy.

A: In front of so many audiences today, I want to ask you a question.

I have questions to answer.

Have you ever been to school?

B: Will you stop talking nonsense? Our country has implemented compulsory education for a long time, and now there are still people who have not attended school.

No, I mean, did you take an exam at school?

B: Who didn't have an exam when they were students?

A: I am most afraid of exams.

Oh, can't you study?

A: It's not impossible, not in our class.

B: Why not?

We have a quiz every seven days and a big exam in January. Don't you think you are putting pressure on our students?

B: Isn't that what schools do?

Neither can the teachers in our class.

B: Why not?

Take the math teacher as an example. She only lectures on the podium, but she doesn't care about classroom discipline.

Why doesn't she care about classroom discipline?

A: On one occasion, I listened carefully to her talk about math problems. The classmate behind drew a turtle on my back, and she ignored it.

B: I didn't see it.

A: What's even more exasperating is that the turtle he painted on my back was carrying a little turtle.

Turtles also have children.

A: Even more exasperating, he wrote my name on the lid of the little bastard.

B: it's not appropriate to write someone else's name.

A: After class, as soon as I turned around, my classmates were happy with me wherever I went.

B: That's not funny.

A: You said, I carried this bitch around. How shameful I am! I can't get rid of him, I'm not finished with him!

Do you want to fight him?

A: Fighting is something only fools do. Can a clever student like me fight with my classmates?

What about you?

A: I made him an offer.

Ask him for money?

Why do you need money? It is illegal to ask for money.

You know everything.

A: In the future, he will unconditionally let me copy my homework, get high marks and get back face.

Did you copy it?

A: I copied it once.

Why only once?

A: I copied his math problem once, 150, and I only got 30 points.

B: How did you get 30 points?

That boy's study is not as good as mine.

B: You said that you didn't find a good student when you copied the questions, and you didn't want to think about whether the students who had time to draw turtles on your back could study in class.

A: This exam doesn't count. See you in the monthly exam.

Do you have any ideas about the monthly exam?

A: I found a good student in the monthly exam.

B: It's good this time.

A: We were not assigned to the same examination room.

B: That won't be any trouble, will it?

A: Nothing. I put a big brick in the toilet.

B: Why should the toilet be enlarged by half a brick?

A: The boss went to the toilet 30 minutes before the exam. He put the answer under the brick.

B: It's fully booked.

Teacher: I have a stomachache. I need to go to the toilet.

I went to find the answer.

A: When I went to the toilet, I found all the answers under the bricks. I'm so happy! After I came back, 10 minutes was over.

Extended data:

"Examination" crew:

Peisi Chen 1:

Peisi Chen, male, born in February 1954 in Nong 'an County, Changchun City, Jilin Province, is a national comedian.

1984, at the CCTV Spring Festival Gala, he and his partner Zhu Shimao performed the sketch "Eating Noodles", which was well known to the audience.

Since then, he has appeared in many sketches at the Spring Festival party, including leading roles and supporting roles, policemen and thieves, mutton skewers and other well-known works.

1999 the Monkey King voiced Guo Man's classic Lotus Lantern.

200 1 switched to drama performance creation and research, and the Avenue Comedy College he founded was also committed to cultivating new comedies.

On 20 10, Peisi Chen's drama "Old House" was staged in the Grand Theatre of Beijing TV Station, and then began a national tour.

2065438+2005 65438+27 10, Peisi Chen returned to CCTV after 65438+2006, and the TV comedy "What a Big Family" directed and performed by him personally landed on CCTV.

On July 16, The Stage, directed and starring, opened in Beijing Comedy Theatre.

20 16 1.6, Peisi Chen won the "20 15 China Cultural Figures" award.

2. Zhu Shimao:

Zhu Shimao,1born on March 28th, 954, is a China film actor, sketch actor and director.

From 65438 to 0970, he joined China People's Liberation Army and worked as an actor in Fuzhou Military Region Drama Troupe.

From 65438 to 0975, Hua Shui, director of North Film, chose Zhu Shimao to play Fu Hailong in the film "Xisha Children", and he entered the film industry from then on.

1983 officially transferred to the actor troupe of Bayi Film Studio.

1987 filmed the first drift of the Yangtze River and won the Flying Award.

In 1990s, Zhu Shimao cooperated with comedian Peisi Chen and performed many sketches at CCTV Spring Festival Gala. Among them, "Eating Noodles" and "Mutton kebabs" were very popular with the audience, and people nicknamed him "Old Cat".