Influence after divorce

In fact, the freedom of divorce may alleviate some people's pain and free them from the bitter marriage prison, but it also causes many new problems and pains. For example: single-parent families, remarriage, children's problems, social instability and so on. That's why God asks us to set up this family wholeheartedly when considering marriage. The following are the effects of divorce:

1. Personal aspect: Divorce does harm to couples, both physically and mentally. Because marriage is the combination of husband and wife's body, feelings and soul, once separated, it is a kind of "dismemberment" and "tearing the body".

(1) In terms of physical damage, a psychologist found in 1986 that the average probability of divorced people suffering from heart disease, stomach disease and cancer is 7- 10 times higher than that of those who have not divorced. That is, people are constantly in anxiety, which will increase the chances of suffering from cancer or other diseases. The anxiety caused by divorce is very serious. [4]

(2) psychological impact: including two aspects [5]

The immediate impact will make the divorcee feel guilty. Their psychological problems include "Did I do something wrong? ""My spouse wants to marry someone who has committed adultery with him/her, but am I involved? " This is a common problem for people seeking divorce counseling. The first thing a divorcee thinks of is guilt: "If I were a better wife or a better husband, I wouldn't have come this far, would I?" Sometimes their experience in court will cause more trauma; Their testimony sometimes makes them regret it. They accumulated great fear, doubt and guilt-"I filed for divorce, did I do something wrong?" There will be different emotions, they will feel angry and angry, and the situation they face is equivalent to the death of a family member. The object of struggle and hatred suddenly left. On the issue of children, some people are indifferent to not seeing children, and sometimes it will only bring a little trauma to children; Sometimes it's just a loss of dignity; Sometimes love leaves, just like facing the death of a child. There will also be sadness and mourning. Normal sadness will subside within three to six months, but then there will be loneliness. There are still some divorcees who can't let go of their ex-spouses, which especially affects the victims of divorce, especially the dependent one. The stronger party in a marriage asks for a divorce, while the weaker and more dependent party is abandoned. He will refuse to let go and expect things to change, even if his spouse has remarried.

The far-reaching influence after divorce-the resurgence of inner contradictions before divorce, such as relying on the needs of others, makes unmarried people feel particularly difficult in this respect, and those who lose their spouses face greater pain. The broken connection may be the cause of many sexual conflicts, such as sons and fathers, daughters and mothers. If there is no good relationship, children will not get the love of same-sex parents, which may lead to homosexuality. These sexual conflicts will revive after divorce and have far-reaching effects. Family:

(1) for children only. Divorce not only hurts both husband and wife in marriage, but also hurts children. It is the children who suffer first, which damages their sense of security, their self-image, their studies and even their future love and marriage. The shadow of parents getting along with them has always been with them. Many people are too old to see friends of the opposite sex, which is often caused by the shadow of childhood. Only when these people completely change their values and outlook on life in the Lord can they really get rid of the problems of the past and let them every cloud has a silver lining. [6]

(2) For parents. In "Sense and Reason Depend on each other", it is mentioned that marriage is a covenant-a covenant between family, government and God. Once one party in a marriage files for divorce, it will not only break the contract, but also hurt the witnesses of the engagement, especially the parents (including God) of both parties.

3. Social aspect: Marriage is not only a personal matter, but also related to many factors. These factors seem to be unrelated, but in fact they are mutually restrictive. Family is the smallest unit of social composition, and the relationship between families is often a perspective of social morality and cultural information. For example, the moral values of China families before liberation were considered immoral and irresponsible when they heard the word "divorce". Nowadays, the moral concept of China families holds that "divorce" is a way to get rid of anyone (including children). Therefore, the current concept of marriage is: "Get together if it is good, and disperse if it is not good." Even if some families are not divorced, both husband and wife can have their own "lovers". Therefore, the moral standards and social stability of today's society are declining; Crime rate, especially juvenile crime rate, is rising. Social concept of divorce

From the legal point of view, adultery, abandonment, disappearance, ability, mutual consent and abuse are all acceptable reasons for divorce.

1. Adultery, sexual dysfunction, both sides agree: we need to discuss it in different situations. If both parties are Christians, adultery, sexual dysfunction and mutual consent cannot be used as grounds for divorce. If only one party is a Christian, then the unbelieving party will bring it up, and we will try our best to save it. If he/she must leave, let him/her go!

2. Abandonment and disappearance: divorce can be handled in two years legally (the American marriage law is like this, but the China marriage law is not clear). If both sides are Christians, we still encourage them to make up. If one party disappears unexpectedly and is no longer alive, the other party can remarry. However, if one Christian party abandons the other and the other has remarried, the Christian party can remarry. However, if the abandoned and missing (not dead) party does not file for divorce, and the other party is a Christian, he/she must keep his/her current identity.

3. With regard to abuse, according to the statistics of the American Medical Association, the situation of American women being abused is as follows: [7] One in every three women has been beaten by her husband at least once; 15-40-year-old injured women are mostly beaten by their husbands or lovers; Among the cases in the emergency room of the hospital, 35% are related to domestic violence; Of all the murdered women, 4 1% died of domestic violence; 40% of police injuries and 20% of murders are due to dealing with domestic violence; 60% of the calls for help received by the police station at night are related to domestic violence.