A collection of humorous jokes and hilarious short sentences

A collection of humorous jokes and hilarious short sentences (selected 52 sentences) 1. I always feel that my personality is not suitable for work and is only suitable for getting a salary. 2. I am not fat, it is swelling caused by allergies to life. 3. Every time I face delicious food, I tell myself: If you eat too much, you will die. ?But it turns out, I'm not afraid of death at all. 4. In today's society, it is no longer useful to cook raw rice into cooked rice. Even if it becomes popcorn, what should run will still run away. 5. Every time I finish my homework very late, there will always be two villains in my mind. One says forget it, stop writing, and the other says okay, okay. 6. In such a cold weather, a single dog may become a barking dog. 7. Single men are called single dogs, and single women are called goubuli. 8. It’s best for you to show your affection at noon. Do you know why? Because sooner or later there will be retribution. 9. I am afraid of scaring you when I say this, but I also have a background and can run two programs. 10. I am no longer that cute little girl who had to think about it for a long time even if I spent fifty yuan. Now I have to think deeply about it even if I spend five yuan. 11. If you can't control your mouth and lose weight this winter, you will have a very special and foreign English name? Feide? Yuan Bu Midwinter. 12. The most beautiful thing in the world is eating meat. Never betray, never cheat, eat a pound, grow a pound, and always treat each other sincerely. 13. Don’t think your girlfriend is a star-chaser. A star-chaser can get by with you, so just go ahead and have fun. 14. Someone just said that I was shameless, and I slapped me with my backhand. Would I reject such a beautiful face? 15. If you feel that I often scold you and swear at you from time to time, then congratulations, we are familiar with each other. 16. Good friends are like this. I will help you when you fall, but you have to wait until I finish laughing. 17. Before I met you, I was extremely pure. After meeting you, I was extremely lustful, but I don’t regret meeting you. 18. Being single is not difficult. What is difficult is dealing with those people who try their best to make you end your single life, such as your seven aunts and eight aunts. 19. In fact, I used to have eight-pack abs, but when I was practicing the ninth-pack abs, I went crazy and became one. 20. For a person who looks like a loser, looking in the mirror is like watching a ghost movie. 21. Chatty because I like chatting with you. If you don’t like it, I can chat to death in a minute. 22. If I am not married and you are not married in ten years, then we will be really miserable, really miserable. 23. People say you have a brain disease, but I don’t agree, because if you have a brain disease, you have to have a brain first. 24. I fought with the mosquito all night yesterday and ended up with a draw. It didn’t eat enough and I didn’t sleep well. 25. If someone asks you why you gained weight, just say you forgot. Don't explain, the more you explain, the sadder it will be. 26. Someone just sat next to me. I walked over and slapped him. How could you squeeze my invisible wings? 27. You scold me because you don’t know me well enough, because everyone who knows me wants to hit me. 28. In today's society, it is no longer useful to cook raw rice into cooked rice. Even if it becomes popcorn, what should run will still run. 29. The wind is so strong outside today and I am so scared. If everyone else is blown away, I won’t be able to blow them away. That would be so embarrassing. 30. Look in the mirror at night and look at your body as white as jade. Sighing: What a good cabbage, why can't I find pigs? 31. When I'm at home, I still insist on surfing the Internet when I have a fever. When I'm at school, I feel like I have terminal cancer even when I sneeze. 32. In fact, I was quite thin when I was a child, not fat at all, but then the sentence "No leftovers allowed" ruined my life. 33. Top students show off their grades, goddesses show off selfies, rich people show off their wealth, models show off their figures, but I can only bask in the sun! 34. I advise you all to stop playing with mobile phones and computers. Recently, I feel that my eyesight is getting worse and worse. I can’t even see money when I open my wallet. 35. Only when you are covered with thorns will others take care of your feelings. You are so soft that everyone wants to rub you, you are so comfortable. 36. You are only twenty years old. It is normal that you have not met someone you like. As time goes by, you will find that you probably will never meet someone again. 37. My parents really think that I am lazy and don’t like to go out. If you were rich, you wouldn’t even be able to see me.

38. If you are ugly, you should study hard. Don’t be useless like me, who can only eat and drink based on your handsome appearance. 39. We were all happy when we were children, because at that time, our ugliness and poverty were not so obvious. 40. When children are sad, they can be happy just by coaxing them verbally, but adults, especially women, have to eat a good meal or buy something. 41. Time tells me that the age of being unreasonable has passed and it’s time to enjoy happiness: face the strong wind! 42. I have three brothers, one is called Dongyan, one is called Xizui, and one is named Naner. What is my name? 43. What you get by taking a step back is not a brighter future, but a bigger gain. 44. Say? Oops! It was the cute girl who said, "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!" ?It’s Fan Wei. 45. Continuing from the previous article: Those who say "嘤嘤嘤" are cute girls, but those who say "嘤嘤嘤嘤嘤嘤嘤嘤嘤" are flies. 46. ??In fact, truly wealthy people are very low-key and cannot be seen from their appearance. Take me as an example. Although I often ride a shabby bicycle on the streets, who would know that I actually have an electric bicycle at home? . 47. Young people should not bow their heads when encountering difficulties, but kneel down. Don't keep thinking that you can't accomplish anything now, and you will be even worse off than you are now. 48. When love comes to an end, the weak will cry non-stop, the efficient will immediately look for the next target, and the smart will have prepared the next one in advance. 49. Who said? If you keep thinking about me, there will be a response? The person I like has never ignored me. I want to get rich overnight, but I have never realized it. 50. When falling out of love, many young people think that the whole world has abandoned them. Don’t be stupid, the world has never needed you at all. 51. I originally thought that I couldn’t afford to raise a woman, but I could raise a man. Then I found that men are also expensive, and finally I found that I can’t even raise a dog. 52. Someone asked me how to survive alone in this materialistic society, and I answered with one word: "Poverty".