The world is not worth living, and no one can live the way they want.

It is now 0:18 on July 25, 48 hours since my resignation. There are still 72 hours until my rental is due.

?

? July is the graduation season. I was unemployed after graduation, and the moment I got my diploma, I lost my job. And in July, file and household registration issues came one after another. It’s not easy to have such a strong feeling in life for the first time. The feeling of not being worthy of this world.

At 18:18 on July 8, we went back to school to get our diplomas. I also met my college classmates for the last time. We all drank too much that night. He was so drunk that he became emboldened and said a lot of crazy things. It was also that night that I realized that everyone seemed to feel that this world was not worth it. I haven’t lived the way I wanted

Classmate A (female):? I just moved to a new house a few days ago. During the moving process, I found Lalamove. The transportation fee is 10 yuan, but the handling fee is 200 yuan. But the cargo owner barely did anything. She was the only one who moved from the original 5th floor to the current 6th floor. (I can’t believe that she who used to need her boyfriend to twist the bottle cap to drink drinks is now like this...) "Why don't you ask someone to help you do it?" I asked, rather stupidly, at the time. . ?

? Now everyone is busy with their own affairs and usually don’t keep in touch. Gradually, I became reluctant to call out when something happened. If you don't want to owe favors, do your best to do what you can do yourself. Because I actually don’t know who to call. Even if I call, I am afraid of rejection.

?

? I am a little afraid and unwilling to believe that these words were said by a girl who needs her boyfriend to twist the bottle cap when drinking.

Classmate B (male):? I decided to resign and wanted to visit Guangzhou. It's true or not, I don't believe it. In my mind, classmate B is a person who desperately wants stability. He said more than once in the class meeting that life needs stability. Don't resign casually. I remember when I started working in Guangzhou, we often saw videos of him working overtime until 12 o'clock to buy drinks in the group. At that time, I thought that anyone who resigned would not resign.

? I don’t dare to resign because I don’t know what I can do. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to do anything if I resign. But I don’t want my life to be like this, and I don’t accept it.

After saying that, he fell asleep on the table. I didn’t know that he was drunk. Still tired.

Classmate C (female): How are you doing? ? It’s okay, go to work, get off work, eat, and sleep. Nothing much has changed. I replied. Haha, not bad. I found I couldn't do anything. I'm confused to death. I was on the bus to school today when I heard three or four guys discussing that the girl was pretty and whether they wanted her WeChat account. If this happened before, I would have despised them and thought they were scum. But now I envy them. I feel like I can pursue what I like on my own.

?

? Slowly, I discovered that what I once hated is becoming what I yearn for. Do you think this is the biggest joke? I don’t know how to answer her. Maybe this is life.

? Classmate D? (male): Am I useless? he asked, staring intently at me. I was a little overwhelmed for a moment. No, you are not the one among our classmates who has won the most awards, is the best talker, and is the best at making troubles. How could it be useless. ? Shit, what the hell, I used to feel that I was awesome, ? God boss, I am not the second child, I am also the third child. But after I was fired from two companies, I found that I seemed to have nothing to do. He interrupted me before I could finish.

Life has defeated my ten years of pride. But I am a proud person, and the first lesson life taught me is that I have nothing to do.

? Classmate E (male): What is your current ideal? I smiled and said nothing. He took another sip of wine and murmured, "A year ago I still wanted to open a company and return to my hometown to build my own village." Now I just want a car and a house. Have I changed? Ha ha. I just changed. I asked many of my colleagues and they told me the same thing. Because we need it. Because I don’t have a sense of belonging.

When I needed it most, I had nothing, so I could only be more social and realistic.

? Classmate F (female): Do you want to stay? I said, "I don't know." Yes, I don't know. I originally thought I would stay in this city forever, but unexpectedly, I was fired after working for two months. Later I went to Jinan. I worked for another half a year because of some reasons. Returned to my hometown Heze. My parents paid to find a job. I still remember when I was an intern, they kept asking me where I wanted to develop my career, but they still can’t answer it even now. I don't know where my future lies. But they insisted on letting me make a choice. My mother graduated from Beijing. Could it be that as soon as she graduated, she planned to follow my father back to Qingdao, and then back to our hometown.

? Our life is whether we choose to live, or life chooses us. This may only be left to time to test.

? Classmate G (male): I really envy you, and you can still find a job at home. I didn't dare to tell my family that I was resigning. I was afraid that my parents would be disappointed, and I also knew that they wouldn't be able to arrange any work for me. In the past, I particularly looked down on those who were arranged by their parents to work in state-owned enterprises, long-term government departments, and take the civil service examination. I think I’ll just get that dead salary for one month. But I’m quite envious now. You still have a way out. And I didn't. I can only go to work and get off work in this city. It seems that life gives us many choices, but in fact we have no choice. This is our greatest tragedy.

Classmate H (male): They poured out the bitter water one by one and fell asleep. Who pays the bill for dinner tonight? Isn't it married? What's the matter? Why are you stingy now? This doesn't look like our Mr. Lin's style. I said jokingly. He laughed and said, "From the day I started working, I decided not to ask for a penny from my family. Later, I was fired from the company, and I still lived alone, with no one to talk to. My friends, everyone is busy and it's not convenient to talk. Parents, family, I don’t want to say it. I am a single mother without a girlfriend. In those days, it felt like the whole world was so big, but there was no place I could go back to. When I didn’t find a job, I was alone, and the only sound was the electric fan. Sound. In those days, I didn't dare to let the electric fan stop, for fear of being as quiet as a morgue. It was also the first time that I had the sense of security that money brings. At that time, my rent was about to expire. . If I didn’t have 8,000 quick money in my bank card, I really don’t know what to do.

? It’s not that I worship money, but I feel that nothing else gives me a sense of security.

Listening to their stories, I felt that they were talking about themselves and me. I was also confused, and I felt like I had no security, no way out, and no home except money. The difference is that I never get drunk, because I always feel that being drunk is not the state of life. But I decided to get drunk today, because we all don't live the way we want, including you. I am so drunk that the sun will still rise from the east tomorrow and we must live strong.