Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Qi Xiao Nao Season 5
Qi Xiao Nao Season 5
Continued from "Qi Xiaonao Season 1", "Qi Xiaonao Season 2", "Qi Xiaonao Season 3" and "Qi Xiaonao Season 4"
1< /p>
After leaving the magic group far away, Xiao Nao asked Lao Niu: "Does that rat tail have that much magic power?
Lao Niu smiled: "This iron rooster is a coward. Scare him hard must work. But the rat tail also has three powers, and these three times are enough for him. "
Xiao Nao praised Lao Niu: "You still have a lot of clever ideas, and you finally came up with such a good method. "
Lao Niu was very proud: "I have many methods, some of which are good. There are bad ones too. "
After not walking for long, Lao Niu found a girl following them. When he got closer, he saw clearly that it was Xiangdou. She said: "I told my boss that I missed home and my mother, so he asked me to go back. Take a look at home. He didn't give it back before, but he did this time. "
Lao Niu smiled: "It must be the effect of that rat tail. He doesn't dare to bully you anymore." "
Xiangdou also smiled: "I'm also surprised that he agreed quickly this time. Does that rat tail really have that much power? "
"Of course! "Lao Niu loves to brag about himself in front of girls, "That rat tail is to supervise him. If he lies, many big rats will appear and crawl all over his body. "
Xiangdou laughed. This time he laughed out loud. He had been holding back his laughter just now.
Xiao Nao asked Xiangdou: "Where is your home? "
Xiangdou said that he was in a small town outside the city and would be there in a short while.
Xiangdou asked: "Where are you two going? "
Before Xiao Niu could answer, Lao Niu spoke first: "We want to visit all the cities in Jiangnan. ”
Xiangdou said that we happened to be on the way.
Lao Niu also said that the way was good and lively.
Of course Xiangdou was willing to go with them. , we can talk together. She mainly wants to know why their magic is so powerful.
No, Xiangdou started asking questions after walking for a while.
, they all say you have sorcery. Do you have it? Why else would your magic be so powerful? Even my master can't fight you. He has been practicing magic for decades. "
Lao Niu said: "It will be useless if he practices for decades. "
"Why? " Xiangdou asked.
Lao Niu didn't say anything, but he said in his heart: I, Lao Niu, have been practicing for thousands of years, how can he be my opponent?
Xiao Nao is afraid. Lao Niu lost his mind and quickly explained for him: "Niu Niu has learned the magic of turning into mice. Your master has not learned it, so of course he can't do it.
Xiao Nao asked Xiangdou: "Are we taking the road out of the city? I feel like we are still going around the city?"
Xiangdou: "We need to go to the car first. We need to take a bus to our town."
Lao Niu became excited when he heard about the bus: "Okay, ok, let's go to the station and take a bus."
He walked for a while. After meeting, they came to the bus station, and there happened to be a bus going to the town. Xiao Nao quickly went to buy tickets. Their seats were in the middle, Lao Niu and Xiangdou sat next to each other, and Xiao Nao sat behind them. Xiangdou and Lao Niu were next to each other because they wanted to ask him a question, and Lao Niu was next to Xiang Dou because they wanted her to ask.
Xiangdou asked Lao Niu to tell a funny story, and Lao Niu started to tell what happened on the train. #
Xiangdou whispered to Lao Niu: "There are also thieves in the car. You have to be careful after you have stolen so much money."
Lao Niu was deliberately surprised: "Then I have to be careful. "Point." Lao Niu said and opened the big bag of money and said, "The money is still there, not missing at all" and then put it behind the bag. Lao Niu then continued to help Xiang Dou clean up the thief on the train.
After a while, someone shouted to get out of the car, it was three young people.
The driver asked them: "Aren't you going to get off at a small town? Why are you so early?"
They replied that they had something to do in advance. The driver had no choice but to stop the car. As soon as the door opened, three young men jumped out and ran away. Xiangdou said to Lao Niu: "They must be in a hurry, they run so fast.
"
Lao Niu smiled secretly and whispered to Xiangdou: "I know they are in a hurry. "
"What's the matter? "
"They are eager to go back and share the money. "
"Penny? "Xiangdou didn't understand.
Lao Niu lowered his voice: "They stole my pocket. "
Xiangdou was startled: "They are——"
"Shh——" Lao Niu motioned to Xiangdou to lower his voice.
"They are Thief? "Xiangdou is still not sure.
Lao Niu nodded, with a proud smile on his face.
Xiangdou knew that Lao Niu had a special way to deal with the thief, but he still had to Ask clearly: “You know they are thieves, why don’t you catch them? And let them run away and steal your pocket. ”
Lao Niu smiled mysteriously: “What they stole was not money. I had already transferred the money.” What they stole was a big bag. What do you think is in that pocket? "
Xiangdou: "It's pretending to be a big mouse. "
Old Niu: "Yes, they are big rats. They may be rolling all over the ground now." ”
What Lao Niu said is absolutely right. The three young men were rolling all over the floor being tortured by countless rats.
Lao Niu opened his pocket in the car to look at the money. When I was young, I was spotted by them. One of them easily got the big bag hidden behind Lao Niu's vagina. This kid saw this little kid who was about 12 or 13 years old and a kid who was about 15 or 16 years old. The girl was bragging about something. It was Lao Niu and Xiang Duo talking happily about the process of subduing the thief on the train. If the boy listened carefully to how Lao Niu dealt with the thief, he might not dare to touch Lao Niu. There won't be so many bad things happening in the back. #
2
They got out of the car and ran to a small forest next to them. As soon as they entered the woods, the boy carrying the bag was so excited that he threw it into the air, and the other two hurried to pick it up.
"Open it and take a look!" "One of them couldn't hold it anymore.
When the pockets were opened, they didn't see colorful banknotes, but little black heads. They all rubbed their eyes at the same time, thinking that There was something wrong with his eyes. When they rubbed it a few times and looked carefully, little black heads popped out of their pockets. In an instant, the three people's bodies were covered with little mice. Everyone screamed "Oh my God!" and then they rolled on the floor. One of them was still awake, and he knew he was encountering an expert. He screamed that he deserved it. The little mouse on his body disappeared immediately.
He didn't bother to wipe the sweat on his face, and quickly told his companions to shout for mercy, saying that he deserved death. Sure enough, the little mice on both of them disappeared. The three of them knew that they had met an expert. They all knelt on the ground and said New Year greetings. It happened that a local little mouse came out to look for food and passed by. When they saw it, they were frightened and kowtowed again and continued to say New Year greetings...
It was a pity that Xiangdou didn't see such a wonderful scene, otherwise she would have been even happier at this time. Listening to how Lao Niu subdued the trafficker, Xiangdou covered his mouth and "clucked" in joy.
Xiao Nao fell asleep not long after getting in the car. What happened in the car. He didn't know anything. After more than an hour, the bus finally arrived in the town. Xiangdou called Xiao Nao, but he didn't wake up until Lao Niu tugged on his ears.
After getting off the car, Xiangdou insisted that they go to her home, and both of them were willing to go. Many people said hello to Xiangdou from time to time when they saw Xiangdou taking the two children. , Xiangdou was much more confident than before. She felt that walking with them made her more capable.
Xiangdou walked very fast. She wanted to get home as soon as possible to see her parents. . But Lao Niu walked very slowly, and he felt very fresh. He looked around and said a few words to Xiao Niu and Xiangdou. When it was getting dark, he finally arrived at Xiangdou's house.
< p> Xiangdou's home consists of several bungalows and a small courtyard. As soon as he entered the courtyard, Xiangdou shouted, "I'm back!" ".A middle-aged woman came out of the house.
"Mom!" Xiangdou shouted. Xiangdou's mother happily hugged Xiangdou.
Xiangdou introduced Lao Niu and Xiao Nao to her mother: "He is Niu Niu and he is Qi Xiao Nao. They are both from our circus."
Xiao Niu immediately said : "Hello, aunt!"
Lao Niu also said "Hello, aunt."
Xiangdou's mother said: "Welcome." Xiangdou's mother was very enthusiastic and pulled Lao Niu He and Maverick walked into the house.
There was a middle-aged man sitting on a big bed in the room. Xiangdou quickly shouted: "Dad, I'm back." Xiangdou's father also happily agreed. Xiangdou introduced Lao Niu and Xiao Nao to her father.
Xiao Nao said: "Hello, uncle!". Lao Niu immediately followed suit and said, "Hello, uncle."
Xiangdou was very happy and said a few words to his mother and then to his father. Xiangdou asked his father again why he came back so early today. Are all the fruits sold out? #
Xiangdou’s father sells fruit and usually comes back very late. Dad said his waist was injured and he couldn't go out for several days. Mom said it was just a fall and it would be fine in a few days.
"Brother, why didn't you see me?" Xiangdou also had a younger brother, but he didn't see him when he entered the house.
Mom replied: "Your little brother is selling fruit on the street. He should be back soon."
Xiangdou: "Then I will pick up my little brother. Mom, make it for us quickly. Come on, I’m hungry. Make some more today, Niu Niu can eat.”
“Okay, I’ll go pick up my little brother.”
Xiao Nao also followed Xiangdou out of the house. Xiangdou said that the market would be there in a short while.
Sure enough, we arrived in less than ten minutes. This is the largest market in the town, and you can see many vendors under the street lights. There was a boy who was very eye-catching. Xiangdou hurriedly ran over: "Laifu——" Laifu is the younger brother's name
"Sister——" Laifu was very excited to see Xiangdou, "Sister, what are you doing?" "Come back?"
"I thought you were coming back."
The boy saw the old cow and the calf following him and asked, "Sister, are they your apprentices?"
Xiangdou smiled: "Yes, he is my sister's apprentice. Newly recruited."
Xiangdou told his younger brother that this one is called Xiao Nao and this one is called Niu Niu. Xiangdou said to Lao Niu and Xiao Niu: "My little brother is fifteen years old this year, and he is older than you two. You have to call him little brother."
Xiao Nao immediately called out, "Hello, little brother." ".
The old cow hesitated for a moment before barking. The sound is much quieter than that of Mavericks. Lao Niu thought to himself: Since he came to the world, he has never been pregnant once. Uncles, aunts, aunts and uncles were all called, and the little boy in front of me still wanted to call him brother. Lao Niu plans to turn into an old man with a white beard in a few days, and everyone who sees him will call me Grandpa Lao Niu. #
Three
Xiangdou said to Laifu: "Brother, don't sell it. Go home quickly. Mom will make delicious food today."
< p> Laifu said: "No, there are so many that have not been sold. Some of them are rotten." Laifu looked at the cart full of fruits with distress. "Let Xiangdou say it is bad. If it is not sold out, it will be sold tomorrow. Laifu pouted, but he still wants to sell it for a while.
Xiangdou: "This street There are not many pedestrians, and even fewer people come to buy fruits. ”
Lao Niu interjected: “It doesn’t matter if there are few people, we can sell it after a while.” "
Xiao Nao also agreed with Lao Niu, so Xiangdou had no choice but to agree to sell it for a while longer.
Sure enough, someone came to buy the fruit immediately, and Lai Fu smiled happily. Okay. Not a pound has been sold for a long time. Then came the second, third, and fourth... Laifu was too busy. Xiangdou also reached out to help, and Xiao Nao happily helped to load the bag.
Xiao Lai Fu couldn't close his mouth. He wiped the sweat from his face. When he looked up, he saw that there was already a long queue in front of the beach. Lai Fu couldn't believe it. It’s true, he rubbed his eyes a few times, and his eyes widened.
“Sister... look. "Lai Fu was confused. He had never seen so many people queuing up to buy his fruit.
Xiangdou was also confused, and he opened his mouth and didn’t know what to say. Xiao Nao was still relatively sober and shouted to the people in line: "There are too many people in your queue. You can go to other stalls to buy."
"No, just buy it here. Others There is no place to go." someone in the team answered.
Xiao Nao was also surprised. He looked at Lao Niu, who looked very proud. Only then did Xiao Nao realize that it was Lao Niu who was responsible. Xiao Nao really admires Lao Niu. Not only can he make the little mice line up, he can also make pedestrians line up one by one.
The cart full of various fruits quickly bottomed out. A middle-aged man happened to arrive in line, but there were only a few rotten apples and peaches left in the car. Laifu said sweetly: "Uncle, they're all sold out."
The big man said I want those bad ones too. Lai Fu said no, it was too rotten to be eaten. The big man said that I just like to eat rotten food. The big man took matters into his own hands, put the rotten apples and peaches into a bag, threw down fifty and left quickly.
Laifu said he didn’t want any money. He took money to chase the big man, but the big man disappeared and Lai Fu failed to catch up.
Queuing behind the middle-aged man was a young strong man. The strong man said regretfully: "There are not even rotten apples left."
Xiangdou said: "I'm sorry, brother , you waited in line for nothing, they are all sold out today."
The strong man stared at the car: "That...I want it too"
Laifu said: "Brother. , there is nothing left, what do you want?”
“I want those sticks.” #
“Xiangdou and Laifu were confused, no. Understand what the strong man means by 'little stick'. When I lowered my head and looked at the car, I realized that the "little stick" he was talking about was the small thin stick in front of the fruit. Some fall off the fruit every day, so there's a lot under the car.
Both the siblings laughed and said, "I won't sell this stick, so I'll give it to you."
The siblings and Xiao Nao helped the strong man pick up the sword. Those small sticks of various sizes on the bottom of the car. I picked up a lot in no time.
At this time, many people had gathered in front of and behind the car, most of them were fruit vendors on the market. It was an eye-opener for them today. They had never seen so many people queuing up to buy fruit. What makes them even more strange is that they bought this little kid to get rich.
They all felt that the opportunity had come, and they all thought: After a while, Xiao Laifu's fruit is sold out, and it will be their turn. But they all thought wrong. These people buy bad apples but not their good apples.
Fifty bucks can buy a basket of good apples, but the big man seemed to have taken advantage of him and ran away with a bag full of rotten apples. Five words can be used to replace the mentality of these vendors at this time - envy, jealousy and hatred.
At this time, they saw a young strong man whispering to Xiao Laifu again, but they were too far away to hear him. Then I saw they were all looking for something in the car. They became even more curious and ignored the fruit stall. They came over one by one, wanting to see what they were looking for in the car.
It turned out that they were looking for apple sticks. All the vendors were confused and didn't know what the little apple sticks would be used for. Not only did they want to know, but the Xiangdou siblings and Wang Xiaoniu also wanted to know what the stick could be used for.
Xiangdou put the apple sticks into a bag and handed them to the strong man, and then couldn't wait to ask him what he wanted these sticks for.
The strong man thought for a moment and said, "I want to use it - to pick my teeth."
"Hahaha——" Many people present laughed. The young man immediately chased after him and asked: "Brother, how can you pick your teeth with such a soft guy?" Save the chewing gum." He said and stuffed a hundred-yuan bill into Xiao Laifu's pocket. He also said: "Don't be too little."
"Wow -" many vendors screamed. This broken apple stick that no one usually wants has become a treasure today, and is more valuable than imported high-end fruits. #
Lao Niu said: "Just because you looked down on us and thought we were young, you were punished. You were made mute for three days."
"I know. No, I won’t do it next time.”
The manager sent Lao Niu and the others out of the restaurant. Lao Niu turned back to the manager and said: "Remember, never bully children.
"
"I remember. "
Xiao Nao also said to the manager, "Remember. ”
Laifu also said, “Remember. "
After walking far away, Xiangdou chuckled.
"Sister, why are you laughing? You should be laughing at that manager. "
"I laugh at you and Xiao Nao. "
"What happened to Xiao Nao and me? "
"Look, Niu Niu said "remember", and you also followed suit. "
"When I said that, the manager nodded to me. "Xiao Laifu looked very proud.
"Niu Niu talks like an adult, but you guys talk like children. "
Old Niu chuckled.
Little Naoxin said: "How can he not be like an adult? He is thousands of years old. I have to tell you, you will be scared to tears. "
After walking for a while, Xiao Nao suddenly said to them: "We are leaving tomorrow, and we are going to Jiangnan to play. "
As soon as Xiao Nao said he wanted to leave, Laifu quit. "No, no, stay here for a few more days." "Lai Fu was sad and refused to allow them to leave.
Xiangdou persuaded Lai Fu for a long time before he persuaded Lai Fu.
When he was sleeping, Lao Niu told Lai Fu: "Who will do it in the future? If he bullies you, just shout three times to the big man in the air. "
"What are you shouting for? Laifu asked with his eyes widened.
"Niu Niu, come on, Niu Niu, come on." Come on Niu Niu. "
"Can you come after calling me three times? "
"Of course. "
"Then I will call you every day. ”
“You only have three chances, so you have to save some.” Shouting at critical moments. ”
“Just three times.” "Lai Fu feels like it's too little."
"If you don't like it, stop shouting. I'll take it back." "Lao Niu pretended to be angry.
"Don't take it back, three times is better than never. ”
This night, they talked very late again before going to bed.
The first night Xiao Nao and Lao Niu came, they also talked for a long time.
< p> That night, Lai Fu was showing off his past. He didn't think that Niu Niu was a hundred times better than him, and he was embarrassed to show off if someone told him, he would definitely show up if he shouted three times. He wouldn't believe it, but he believed Niu Niu's words.The next morning, Xiao Nao and Lao Niu had their last breakfast at Xiangdou's house, and then they went on the road. We drove them to the station and watched the car drive away.
Xiao Nao also shed tears.
Lao Niu didn't shed any tears. He waved to the two siblings. They could still be seen after the car drove far away.
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