Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Parents, don’t be embarrassed when your child suddenly talks dirty words. This is the sensitive period for curses.
Parents, don’t be embarrassed when your child suddenly talks dirty words. This is the sensitive period for curses.
I took Youmi to bask in the sun in the morning, and happened to meet 4-year-old Yangyang. Yangyang's mother said from far away, "Look! Sister Youmi is here, go and say hello to auntie." Yangyang Dengdeng ran over, took Youmi's hand and ran away. I quickly grabbed Youmi and said, "Yangyang, let's not run. My sister has just learned to walk and can't run!" Unexpectedly, Yangyang turned around and said, "Damn, my sister is so stupid." Yangyang's mother asked angrily, "What did you say? Apologize to my sister!" I quickly said, "It's okay, it's okay!" Unexpectedly, Yangyang added, "Auntie is stupid." Yangyang's mother was completely irritated and raised her hand to hit her, but I hurriedly held her back. She said with red eyes, "I'm sorry, Mom Youmi! I don't know what's wrong with this child these days. He scolds me every day! I've been beaten and scolded, but it doesn't work."
In fact, careful observation will not help. It’s hard to find that most children will start swearing like Yangyang around the age of 3 or 4, such as “stinky daddy”, “beat you to death”, etc. Some little boys will also be immersed in the excitement and pleasure of swearing. middle. Many parents even begin to doubt themselves, "Is it my education's fault if I don't learn well at a young age?" In fact, if a 3 to 5-year-old child starts swearing, parents don't have to worry too much. The child may just be "curse-sensitive" Expect".
What is the curse sensitive period?
The discovery of the "sensitive period" comes from Montessori, an Italian early childhood educator.
That is to say, children have a special feeling ability at each specific period. This feeling ability makes them sensitive to certain things in the environment and pay close attention to related things. , very patient and not interested in other things.
Psychologists have found that children will have multiple sensitive periods before the age of 6, and some of these periods will also have obvious "annoying" characteristics, such as the "curse" mentioned today. Sensitive period".
First of all, swearing allows children to discover the power of language.
Generally, there will be a language sensitive period before the cursing sensitive period. You will find that your baby between 1.5 and 2.5 years old will suddenly speak many words, even short sentences. You may remember that this is actually the language sensitive period. At this stage, the baby's vocabulary will grow exponentially, and he will speak more and more like a little adult.
When ordinary words can no longer satisfy children’s curiosity, they will increase the sensitivity of their learning radar. Occasionally, they will remember swear words or cruel words that they have never heard once or twice. Live, start messing around, and never get tired of it. At this stage, children actually do not understand the meaning of these words, they just imitate them. They regard "dirty words" as a language learning, just like parrots, saying what they hear is no different from other words.
But they found that swear words can attract the attention of parents more than ordinary words, so "swear words" are more powerful in the eyes of children. The more adults stop them, the more excited they become and the more they want to talk. As written in the book "Capturing Children's Sensitive Periods":
So you will find that the angrier you are, the more your children like to swear. But in fact, once they pass this stage, they are not so interested in swearing.
Secondly, swearing allows children to release their emotions
Timothy Jay, a psychology professor at MIT, once said:
When a child learns to speak, he will Try to use words to express your emotions. Children aged 3 or 4 have just learned to speak and have limited language skills. When they feel angry, in addition to shouting and crying, the first thing they think of are those curse words that can make their parents furious, such as shouting "I'm going to beat you to death." "You are a stupid pig" etc. In this way, they want to attract their parents' attention and vent their emotions at the same time.
Of course, there is another important reason. At this stage, children begin to consciously distinguish between you, me, him, and self. Consciousness gradually forms.
Children begin to try to express their demands. When their demands are not met, swearing becomes the best way for them to release their emotions.
Finally, swearing comes from the surrounding locale.
American behaviorist psychologist Skinner's "stimulus-response theory" points out that language is not innate, but acquired through the "stimulus-response-reinforcement" model. Habit. Therefore, the external environment is very critical for children's language learning.
As we said before, the way children learn language between the ages of 3 and 6 is basically imitating the language environment such as TV programs that adults or children have been exposed to. If there are "dirty words" in these environments, especially families, kindergartens where children often live, or cartoons that children often watch, it will easily affect the children.
Just like when "Bear Bears" first became popular a few years ago, the children's mouths were all the catchphrases of Xiong Da and Xiong Er in the cartoon, such as "go to hell", "stinky bear" and "go to hell". After some live-streaming websites became popular in the past two years, some Internet celebrities often used swear words. Children were exposed to this situation and naturally learned to use swear words.
First of all, attach importance to it in mentality and despise it in behavior.
As we have said before, an important reason why children love to swear is the reaction of their parents. The stronger the parent's reaction to their children's swear words, the easier it is to stimulate their children's desire to continue using curse words. Just like the "forbidden fruit effect" in psychology says: The more forbidden something is, the more people want to get it.
Therefore, once the "curse sensitive period" occurs, parents must not react strongly. The best option is to deal with it coldly. Do not beat or scold the child when he or she swears, and do not laugh. Just watch quietly. He makes the child fail to meet the expectations he wants. This is like telling a cold joke and amusing yourself, but the people next to you are indifferent, and you yourself are embarrassed.
Although you can despise and treat them coldly in terms of behavior, you must pay attention to your mentality. Since children are highly imitative and have poor control abilities, they often do not differentiate between good and bad. Therefore, parents must clearly tell their children what they should not say and tell them that swearing is not cool at all. Swearing is unpleasant and uncivilized. No one likes to be friends with children who love to swear.
Secondly, change from passive to active and take the initiative to discuss swear words with your children.
American linguist Chomsky believes that children have a language acquisition mechanism themselves, and children will learn language based on their own feelings. For children, language itself is not right or wrong, and they do not have the awareness of "I said the wrong thing" or "My words hurt others." Therefore, at this time, parents need to take the initiative, tell their children the meaning of swear words, how you feel after hearing swear words, and guide your children correctly.
For example, if a child says "I'm going to beat you to death," you can ask the child, "Where did you learn this sentence? Do you know what it means?", "If you beat me to death, you will You will never see your father/mother again, and there will be no one to tell you stories." Then you have to guide your child: "Mom and dad know that sometimes we use bad words when we are in a bad mood. Today. Apologize to you. This is a bad thing, and it will be very uncomfortable for those who hear it. It is not allowed by our family's rules. If you use it accidentally, you must apologize. Mom and Dad will abide by it. Yes, if you hear your parents say something similar next time, you can remind us to apologize. If you are still angry next time, let's express it in another way. For example, you can say, "I'm so angry!" "Or choose another way to vent. You can watch TV when your mother is very angry. You can also find a way to vent your emotions. Can your mother buy you a sandbag? If you are in a bad mood, you can hammer it. A few punches”
Finally, look for the meaning behind the curse words.
Dan Gartrell, an American doctor of education, commented on children swearing. He said: swearing is a way for children to express that their needs are not being met, and is not a trait of them. In other words, children who swear must have needs that are not being met, so what we need to do is find out where the needs are behind them and then prescribe the right medicine.
Dr. Paul Bloom of Yale University in the United States said: "When children say swear words, it is actually just the child's language learning. A swear word has no special meaning as a taboo word for children at that time. . They will gradually understand that these words violate social taboos. "What we, as parents, should do most is to guide our children correctly when they are young, so that they can stay away from those taboos so that they can be less uncomfortable when they grow up. necessary harm.
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