The Complete Manuscripts of Wong Tze Wah East Du Xiao

Don't forget to tell the Japanese when you go back that Diaoyu Island belongs to China! ! ! !

I have always felt that the three greatest discoveries in human history are:

First, Newton discovered gravity.

Second, Einstein discovered the theory of relativity.

Third, I just don't know which magazine found that masturbation is harmless to human body.

Three-point ranking regardless of primary and secondary!

4. Communists

I have 400 yuan. Since we are all gay, is there any reason not to share it with you? Ok, 400 yuan gave it to four comrades, each at 100 yuan.

But now I give1200 million comrade 400 yuan. How much can each person have? You ask Marx to do mental arithmetic, and I promise he can't work it out?

Communism is not bad. There are only four people in your whole country!

And it is best that the other three people are richer than you!

5. Jin Lao (watch)

Why bring Jin Lao? Without money, who are you to tell people that time is precious? How precious is my time? Don't you think so? )

Hey, the hand turned around, 12 hours, hundreds of thousands of dollars, that is, more than 10 thousand dollars an hour. How much is your hour worth?

A few hundred dollars (referring to ordinary watches)? Then how can I have dinner with you? Everyone has different ideas about time!

More than that, you take care of Kim, which shows that you have a sense of humor. Rolex, who can afford a Rolex by earning money through labor? The more people wear Rolex, the more they say that they don't need to rely on labor! This is called a sense of humor.

6, lovelorn

Losing love will make people grow up. Before I was lovelorn, I always felt that all the problems in the world had answers.

Why do we have to get up at 8 o'clock for work every day? Because it's time!

Why do we have such a thing as time? Because we don't have to float working hours.

Why is there a war in this world? Because we have weapons.

Then why do we have weapons? Because they have weapons.

Until I fell in love, everything was answered.

Jane, why don't you love me? Jane gave me a classic answer. She said, "Love has no reason and cannot be explained. Don't ask. "

7, black and white is unknown

I really appreciate Deng Xiaoping's "whether it's a black cat or a white cat, catching a mouse is a good cat"

My friend Ashong's wife gave birth to a child and a black man. I also said to him: "Whether the black child is a white child or not, it is a good child to grow up quickly!"

8. You haven't seen me for several days. Do you think I've become handsome? Do you feel a bit like dawn? But of course it is more mature than dawn, so there is

Some people think I look more like dusk.

9. Actually, laughing is not a miracle. Think about it. I tell jokes and then people laugh. What's so surprising about this? If possible

When telling jokes, everyone stopped laughing, but after the meeting, everyone said, "Oh, yes, it's very nice. Be sure to buy tickets next time. Totally. "

Not funny! "This is called a miracle.

10, I have a belief that no matter how good things are in this world, it is useless to say them, but useful to do them. Let's not talk about anything else.

Just love-don't tell me what love is, just do it ... so when you see some people who love betting on horses cheating.

! Some people love the world so much that they just want to rob it! There is only one thing in this world that is better said than done.

This is Marxism.

1 1, Marxism is a theory for people to study in universities. Don't be too nervous, really, unless of course.

You majored in this major, so it's different. So, if you want to find Marx now, you tell him, "Hey, Mr. Ma, because you are here.

Species, only we China don't know that millions of people have died! "Marx would say, ah, so many people died in the reading club?

Do you people in China have a big exam every day? "

12, when we were in China during the Cultural Revolution, when we China people faced the most difficulties, Li Xiao.

The dragon said a word, and he said,' China people are not weak!' Every man in my time must have said this, especially in the bridal chamber.

Before! Wife ~ ~! China people are not weak! But I was so young, I didn't know this sentence had such a profound meaning.

Ah.

13, schizophrenia is a sexual perversion? ! I'm afraid fever is a sexually transmitted disease! A cold is herpes! I am afraid you have rheumatism.

Is a harbinger of AIDS!

14, why did those couples get divorced? By day and night, they woke up: "Ah? You again? " So I want a divorce.

15. When I was a child, my mother and I often flew, and I went to the toilet, which was not common when I was a child. "Hey? Why is there water in the toilet?

Is it blue? "I went out and asked my mother," Mom, why is the water in the toilet blue? "mom:" ah ~ ~ ha ~ ~ ah ~ ~,

Ah! You see the sky outside is blue, so we are in the sky! "~ ~ Ah, in the sky ~ ~" So I became the world.

The only person who has eaten has brought some home.

16, the most addictive thing, in my opinion, is rice. Rice is the most addictive thing. Who here hasn't touched anything? Who can not touch this thing? I've never seen anyone say, "Oh, no, I haven't eaten for years. You see how well I look now, I can find a job again, and my family has forgiven me. Have you eaten? " What should be wrong is already wrong! "I haven't seen it before. You can give up drugs and gambling, but no one can stop eating. But every day, 500 million people in this world are forced to stop eating.

17, we swear, we know the theory of relativity, and we can draw. .................................................................................................................................................

18, obesity used to be just a matter of appearance, ah! It's ugly, or a personal health problem, but do you know that obesity is a moral problem now? Why are you so fat? Because you eat more than you need, in other words, you are wasting. What are you wasting? The resources on the earth, in other words, you are not environmentally friendly, so you are not-moral-

19. What kind of person does a person have to eat a lot to be full? He is a very hungry man. Now there is a nation that needs a lot of knowledge to predict its own destiny. What kind of nation is it? He is a nation whose fate is unpredictable.

The following is an excerpt from Mr. Huang's written works:

1, student, dictionaries are not money, and they will not earn interest if they are not stored.

2. The world is simply a huge madhouse, and we are all veritable MIA (Maninasylum-people who live in madhouses).

People say that Hong Kong is a place of freedom of belief. Bullshit! Hong Kong belongs to her specific inviolable religion, and her holy name is money.

If you don't believe in Jesus, you may not be able to immigrate to heaven.

If you don't believe in money, you will be deported in Hong Kong sooner or later.

4, classmates, don't hesitate, go, don't count so much.

I thought it was right before. No matter what method is used, quotations, personal attacks, jokes, and dirty words must be forcibly accepted. Because I realize the truth, it is shameful to argue with me. If I don't contradict you to your face, the only reason is that you are big.

6. In fact, except for XXX, these moral giants need to keep themselves at all times. For the sake of mental health, most people should regard the concept of self-achievement as an ID card and know that you have it with you, so you don't have to show it off all day.

The fact is that there are as many people as there are in the world. To force others' truth to merge with yours, unless Zhan Peizhong can merge with Zhang Xiaoxian, Cai Lan can persuade Lin Yanni to eat lard for a living, and the Jews are willing to exchange the experience of using poison gas with Hitler.

8. Classmates, the same rice raises hundreds of people. Every day, they only look down at their bowls and don't know how to appreciate hundreds of lives. That is a waste of white rice.

9, classmates, please be careful, the most poisonous thing to be superior is not to predict all the hair, but to unconsciously inject some fourth-rate values into your fragile heart.

Students, remember, beware of tall people.

A master who judges things like a horse is a light policeman. This kind of expert posted it wrong a few times, and someone took down his signboard.

People who are unpredictable should be on high alert. Because of their high predictive ability, their values can occupy your heart more unnoticed.

10, whatever you want. Unless you are born a Buddha, you have nothing to want. Otherwise, please knock on your own stick. Remember, the right way on earth is to lose.

1 1. In this world, loss is inevitable. The inevitability of loss is as firm as death. The difference between loss and death is that death is death, it's over, it's gone, you don't have to say anything, you can't say anything. Losing is just the beginning, the beginning of a series of feelings of regret, hatred and helplessness. You can continue to eat, sleep and even have sex, but "loss" is always like a dark cloud in the sky, projected in your heart. As long as you have a little leisure, the whole set of "losing everything" frustration will overwhelm you all again.

12. Considering your problem, you are actually sick. You are suffering from a delusion that we professionals call "I can't wait for this second to be solved immediately, and I want to find my life destination".

Ah, confusion is the basic form of being a man. If ordinary people are willing to spend more time to calm down, if karaoke in Hong Kong is willing to close for three days, then the number of people who lost contact will definitely double immediately.

Knowing that you are lost is a harbinger of starting to look for it. Ah, I congratulate you.

People who are looking for it should be psychologically prepared and not impatient, because it may take a lifetime to find it.

13, SIR Huang thinks that if you use your brain a lot, your popularity will be limited.

"Macro-control" must not be as good as "macro-air conditioning" gunner;

"State-owned enterprise shareholding system" must not make as much money as "state-owned enterprise youth";

Yang Guo must be more popular with women than Yang Huaikang;

Benefiting workers and benefiting the people, political achievements are of course higher than benefiting the people.

The irrefutable evidence is like a mountain, so we have to accept it. If you have any questions, it must be that my writing is not honest enough and I use my brain too much.

14, just because a classmate is careful and laughs at himself doesn't mean he doesn't believe in himself. On the contrary, it may mean that he believes in himself more. But self-mockery can be self-confidence, and it can't be too naked to embarrass others.

15, it's hard for smart people not to do secret things; It's even harder for celebrities not to do interviews.

16, I personally can't accept it because I don't accept it.

17, if she is willing to devote her life to the signature, I'm sure she will sacrifice her breath.

18, to some extent, can have no sense of responsibility, also need a rogue wisdom root:

Endless suffering, irresponsible! Even if you cut jobs;

Put down the butcher knife, irresponsible! Just wait for the eldest brother to split himself;

Color is empty, empty is color, I am responsible, and the responsibility lies with me. Negative can be positive.

18, we are used to the horror of ghosts, as if we were born thieves and ghosts are soldiers!

19, I would advise you to look in a mirror, idiot.

20. Those who don't make progress rely on their parents at home, and those who don't have the guts to go out and rely on their friends.

2 1, the first time I experienced the charm was the strength of 71 and the strong performance 24 hours a day:

Eyes, always like bears, the sound of beer;

Language, always greeting, mother's voice;

The body is always a little dragon, and the people next to it should be quiet;

Confident eyes, confident language and confident posture are stronger than Hemingway's golden sentence.

Hemingway; Man can be destroyed, but not defeated.

22, bewitch: people can be destroyed or defeated, listen to the truth, tie people, you old X!

23. People say that women are made of water, and they have no idea what they are made of!

More than ordinary people can accept alcohol, cigarettes, soft and hard drugs, at least three songs at that time, extremely skilled guessing skills, and most importantly, a word "thank you" written on the face.

24. I think, perhaps, they betrayed their temperament of belonging to the night.

Who can an owl fool by pretending to be an American ginseng eagle during the day?

But the nature created by human beings is very wonderful. Here, we provide a place for owls to haunt during the day. This is a daytime operation. Go home. This is Mong Kok, a street corner that sells at night during the day.

23. Fight violence with peace and hit people around. It doesn't matter if the statement only hits both sides first. Thick-skinned, can bear. But the basic definition of violence is excesses. Once you start, it's not as gentle as a whip. Left, right, up, down, front, back, strong whip, whip to death! The anti-violence movement is the stupidest political gamble. If you can get beaten, you will undoubtedly become a hero of the people. But more likely, just once, you may be dismembered or even killed.

When Muslims and Hindus kill each other, Gandhi, as a Hindu, appeals that a true Hindu should let the other side kill him without fighting back. As for women, in order to avoid the humiliation of being raped, we can consider jumping into a well.

As a lawyer, he is used to wearing a suit. In order to reach the poor, he took off his Hanfu. Wherever he went, he wrapped himself in an Indian cloth for most of his life. Everyone around him loves to laugh and say that I don't know how much it will cost to make him live a poor life.

25, a person who loves peace the most, ended in violence!

I don't know why, but I want to hear what all the NPC deputies, the great people who represent the people, say to Gandhi, a man who doesn't want to represent but just wants to serve the people.

26, death is light, if death is your enemy;

Or, when you think the world is your enemy;

Without love, death is light.

Without love, death is light and life is even more unbearable.

It is love that makes life heavy;

It is love that warms the cold death;

It is love that makes me feel that this book is not suitable for public occasions.

Tony joked that this book was written for people hiding in the toilet.

I agree, the toilet is no better than the subway.

In the toilet, it's not so embarrassing to wipe your tears alone.

Hope to adopt ~