All the lines in the skit "Falling Leaves Return to Their Roots"

The fallen leaves return to their roots

While walking forward and backward, the salesman bumped into the customer.

Customer: Why haven’t you come yet?

Salesman: Please wait a moment.

Foreigner: (Comes out holding an urn, gasping for air) HELLO! Ladies and gentlemen, is this Cemetery No. 90?

Customer: Yes.

Foreigner: YEAH! I’m so smart, I found the right one just after I found the 89th one.

HELLO! You two, I am a friend of the deceased. Can we talk to you on the phone? you? You guys have an appointment

Alright! The deceased asked me to bring his urn here from abroad and find him a suitable cemetery here. This is the purpose of my coming. Do you understand my purpose?

(The customer and the salesman look at each other)

YEAH! I’m so smart! Expressed so clearly!

One more thing is that the deceased asked me to hand over his inheritance to his eldest nephew, Mr. Thank you, which one of you is Mr. Thank you?

Salesman: Second uncle! (Sobbing, taking the urn from the foreigner’s hand, kneeling down)

Second uncle, why did you just leave? You! You didn’t even say a word to me (sobbing, pretending to cry), in my heart How uncomfortable it is for me!

Customer: (walks closer and pats the salesman on the shoulder) That’s almost it! There's no need for you grave seller to cry like this!

(The salesman stood up and walked aside)

Second uncle! You went abroad when I was two years old. I just heard that you were successful, and within two days you were buried.

(Turns back to look at the salesman) Grave seller! My second uncle loved luxury and hustle and bustle during his lifetime. I've got the whole cemetery covered! I was hung with small speakers on every tree, playing the sound of traffic 24 hours a day.

(Turn around and point to the left side) I will dig up all the little graves here and build a simple shed. Ramen, barbecue, pancakes and fruit, Gaba vegetables and Erlieer cakes are all prepared for me. (Transliteration)

(Turn around and point to the other side) Here, arrange another row of urban management for me. If nothing happens, chase them away. Just run around my second uncle’s grave! Get excited!

Salesman: Sir, this extra expense is quite a lot for you!

Customer: The elders are gone, what’s the point of spending some money as a junior? !

Salesman: Yes.

Customer: Besides, how expensive can your most expensive tomb be? !

Salesman: 48,100 square meters.

Customer (surprised): Where is the cheapest one?

Salesman: Forty-seven thousand.

Foreigner: Wow~ It’s more expensive than ours!

Customer: Mr. Allen

Foreigner: Uh-huh

Customer: How much inheritance did my second uncle leave to me?

Foreigner: Let me tell you this! Your second uncle is starving to death abroad.

(Customer hides his face)

I even paid for the return ticket. Look, can you give me the return ticket?

Customer: (The customer stepped forward to hug the foreigner) It’s over!

Foreigner: Where is it?

Customer: I'm telling you, Mr. Allen. This is not my second uncle at all! Didn’t my second uncle say he was a millionaire? !

Foreigner: You can’t be wrong! Your shameless behavior just now was the same as that of your second uncle.

Your father’s name is Xie Tian, ??your second uncle’s name is Xie Di, and your name is Xie Xie. You all are so kind! (After speaking, the foreigner bows)

Customer: There are so many people who are so polite, are they all my second uncle? ! (Turns away)

Foreigner: Your second uncle still remembers that today is your thirtieth birthday. He told me to give you this urn as a birthday gift on your birthday.

(The foreigner picked up the urn from the ground and handed it to the customer)

Happy birthday! I am sorry for your loss. The greatest wish of your second uncle is to be buried on this mountain in his hometown

My child, you can fulfill the wish of the deceased.

Customer: It’s not that I don’t want to be fulfilled! A broken grave! One square meter sells for more than 40,000 yuan, how can you let people live? !

(The customer is about to leave, and the salesman comes forward to pull the customer away)

Salesman: Living people will not live in graves, so the price of graves is so expensive.

Let me introduce it to you (takes out the telescopic wand from his pocket and points to the table).

This is a north-south transparent board tomb that is very suitable for the elderly to live. Dark earth and dark position, no light in all seasons. It leaks in winter and gets frost in summer. The businessman on the ground floor next door is named Zhang.

Well, our biggest advantage now is the geographical environment. You see, it's adjacent to Huangquan Expressway on the left, Jiahe Airport on the right, and the one in the middle is the most prosperous pedestrian commercial street in our entire cemetery area: a dead end. (After that, close the stick)

In addition, there is good news, that is, if you can purchase a grave in full now, we will also give you a coffin as a gift. I don’t know whether you like flip-top or slide-top type?

Customer: Is there a touch screen?

Salesman: I’ve researched it and it’s discontinued.

Foreigner: Why?

Salesman: No one pressed.

This set of tower tombs is the most luxurious Egyptian style in the entire tomb area. The pyramids symbolize the wealth and financial power of the deceased during his lifetime. Hey, if you bury the second uncle here, we will specially hire professional dancers with exotic styles to dance with you.

(When the music starts, salesmen, customers, and foreigners take turns dancing)

Foreigner: I like this! Just buy this!

Salesman: How is it? Mr. Xie, our dance is pretty good!

Customer: Dancing is good, but does it cost money?

Salesman: Oh, forty-seven thousand one hundred and eleven yuan a section.

Customer: It’s not expensive, but I’m afraid it will make my second uncle live!

Salesman: I almost forgot. Mr. Xie, I would like to ask you, does the second uncle have a local household registration?

Customer: Is there any difference?

Salesman: Aha, uh, if a local person dies, he can be buried immediately.

Customer: What if he is a foreigner?

Salesman: Then he will die for five years.

This grave can be purchased again after five years with a personal tax invoice.

Customer: Just right! I can't buy it.

(The customer turned to leave, but the salesman stopped him)

Salesman: Ah, no, no, no, thank you, Mr. thank you! Well, you don’t have to worry about this! (Taking out a small note from his pocket) Look, I have a list here. These are all local old ladies who passed away recently. You can first choose a suitable one for the second uncle and have a secret marriage.

In this way, the second uncle can buy a grave as soon as he gets his account!

Customer: Do you still need to have a wedding ceremony?

Salesman: Tsk, you, heh, are so brave.

(The customer turned to leave, but the salesman pulled him away)

Customer: Please step aside for a moment. I will discuss it with my second uncle again.

(The customer takes two steps with the urn in hand)

Second uncle, aren’t you sincere in making people laugh at me? Do you think I am doing well? In fact, we are almost the same! You are starving to death and I am about to starve to death! OK! After all, we are relatives and I will scatter you on the floor (the customer threw the urn back and left).

Salesman: Hey, what’s the matter with you? ! (The salesman steps forward to pull the customer away) Come here! I'm telling you, if you don't have money, why can you buy a grave?

(The foreigner picked up a check that fell out of the urn)

Foreigner: This check is my THANKS, thank you.

Customer: Thank you. My ENGLISH NAME is THANKS.

Foreigner: One million? ! U.S. dollars? !

Salesman: Mr. Xie, we have a large graveyard here, which is especially suitable for you! Are you serious? You buried your second uncle in it and rolled around...

Customer: Oh, my second uncle! (crying, picking up the urn)

Second uncle! ...(foreigner, the salesman pats the customer on the shoulder to express comfort)

Salesman: My condolences.

Please consider the Ohu Tomb.

Customer: I have decided! Second uncle!

Salesman: What a filial son!

Customer: Let’s go home! (Walks to the other side holding the urn in hand) Second uncle, the quality here is too low! In two days, I will accompany you to see a set of affordable graves.

Foreigner: (going to chase the customer) Hey! No, you haven’t paid me my ticket yet! Report!

Salesman: (stopping the foreigner) Hey, big brother, big brother! I'll pay, I'll pay! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavalductductductductductductvalvalvers of course, is that big brother Allen? Brother Ai,

I would like to recommend to you the Dahu Tomb here! Your size fits perfectly inside!

Foreigner: OH, MY GOD! Please pay me for my air ticket, pay for it! (The foreigner chases him out)

Salesman: (Shouts to the foreigner’s back) Report! Report! Report it! Why can't you understand Chinese?