Think of a joke

Is the emperor's "sexual" blessing a happy life?

Liu Chan, an unaffordable Adou, is one of the representatives of the indulgent Emperor China. He has a good husband in the street stall, which only took a few more years. It is true that Zhu died, and then he died. Finally, I shamelessly made a conquered people, and said such stupid things as "I am happy here, I don't think about it". But what is the truth behind the facts? !

Liu Chan, the son of Liu Bei, whose father is famous for his kindness, has laid a third of the world's white heritage. If Liu Chan inherited only one tenth of Liu Bei's genes, he wouldn't be such an asshole. So since this is not a genetic problem, there is only one explanation left, that is, Liu Chan gave up himself. As for why Liu Chan gave up on herself, we should start with a failed marriage.

When you were studying in the Three Kingdoms, you were most concerned about Zhuge Liang or Ma, Huang and Zhao. Few people go to see the biography of mistress, and the reason why Liu Chan was driven crazy happened to be in the biography of mistress.

The original text of the Three Kingdoms is as follows: "The late Lord mourned the queen, and the eldest daughter of the general Zhang Fei on horseback. In her first year in Zhang Ling, she was accepted as the Crown Prince. In the first year of lite, he was made queen. Fifteen years later, he was buried in Nanling. After worshipping the queen, respect your sister before and after. After fifteen years of poverty, he became a noble man. In the spring of the first year of Yan Xi, in the first month, he said, "Unite to continue the great cause, the king is in the world and the country is in the suburbs. "Today, you are the queen."

The original text in the Romance of the Three Kingdoms reads as follows: "When the late Lord did not set up a queen, Kong Ming and his ministers said". Therefore, the daughter of the riding general Zhang Fei is very virtuous and can be accepted as the queen of the official palace at the age of seventeen. "The queen will accept it."

You know the tragedy in Liu Chan, right? He actually married Zhang Fei's daughter, and when he got married, there were two. Zhang Fei was a hero of his time. His natural appearance was shocking enough to make the baby famous all over the world and stop crying. And Zhang Fei's daughter looks more like her father, if nothing unexpected. Because there is such a universal law in genetic inheritance, that is, "girls are like fathers and boys are like mothers." In terms of genetic probability, the probability that Zhang Fei's daughter looks like her mother is very small, while the probability that two daughters look like her mother at the same time is basically close to zero. We can imagine such a scene. In the first year of Zhang Ling, Liu Chan, a boy of 15 years old, looked forward to the first beautiful love in his life and finally got married at home, making Zhang Fei's eldest daughter a crown princess. On the wedding night, when Liu Chan, who was drunk, lifted the bride's veil with trembling hands, he suddenly became scared and saw his third uncle sitting on the bed in a wedding dress. The only difference is that he seems to be younger without a beard. Liu Chan wondered if he was drunk. His first love in life should be a fairy sister. How did he become like this? Yes, I must have drunk too much and hallucinated. It's all because those boys Guan Xing and Zhang Bao drank me and kept saying it was for my own good. So, Liu Chan carefully covered the hijab again, and then went to the round table to drink a few mouthfuls of sober tea, adjusted the crown on the groom's head, and finally pinched it on his thigh with his own hands. After confirming that it was very painful, he sat back on the bed, got up the courage and lifted the lid again.

Poor Liu Chan is not a magician, a turban or a magic handkerchief. He can change whatever he wants. Under the veil, his big face is still a "sister flower" or "Sister Furong" (perhaps not as good as Sister Furong). Little Liu Chan panicked, and the wine was all awake. He turned to escape, but was caught by the bride's arm (who is Miss Zhang? If you let your demo slip away like this, wouldn't it be bad for her father to spread it? She threw it on the bed, and Liu Chan was shivering in the corner of the bed. I tried to call for help, but I was too scared to make a sound. On the contrary, I dislocated it because I was too big. Fortunately, the bride Drake was loud enough and called the doctor too fast to suffer more. Finally, my mouth was stuffed with a pair of smelly socks, and my heart was unwilling to be caught by the bride QJ. Since then, I have fallen behind the source of ambiguity.

Such a blow is a great blow to a man's body and mind, especially to a little man in The Seeds of Love who longs for a happy life. Self-destruction or self-harm are their best choices. But there is no doubt that Liu Chan is strong. After all, he inherited Liu Bei's excellent genes of enduring humiliation and sizing up the situation, which helped him through the difficult times in his life, but he became more and more mature in the process of changing from a man to a boy.

Liu Chan, who lost the right to a happy life, began to concentrate on national affairs. Although he was only a prince, he began to work hard and he was determined to win the world. As the saying goes: "Marry a wife but ask for a good wife. As long as you can help yourself to surrender to the Sixth Hospital and win the world, why not let her be a concubine?" ! Liu Chan often used such comfort to anesthetize himself, and even began to be willing to perfunctory Zhang Fei, but what he didn't know was that the suffering of life had just begun. Anyone who has read The History of the Three Kingdoms and The Romance of the Three Kingdoms knows that Zhang Fei is flawed in character. He often likes to get as drunk as a fiddler, and he likes to whip athletes after drinking. As the daughter of Zhang Fei, Zhang Fei undoubtedly lurks these personality defects. Of course, we still need certain objective conditions to induce gradually. But worst of all, all these objective conditions exist around Liu Chan. Life in the deep palace is lonely, and the time seems so long, but the arrogant Zhang Fei is not worthy to do those things with other concubines.

So the only way to pass the time is to pin it on Liu Chan, who is weak, and Liu Chan's perfunctory attitude towards her, which makes her life more depressed. When all these factors come together and last for a long time, quantitative change becomes qualitative change, and those latent personality defects in Zhang Fei begin to become obvious gradually. Perhaps it was a casual drunkenness or an unintentional slap, and Zhang Fei got an unprecedented pleasure. As a result, she also began to get drunk and drink, and began to whip athletes. When all these characteristics appear in a woman, we usually call her the Queen of SM for short. At first, the target must be some eunuchs, ladies-in-waiting, and even the guards (Zhang Fei was born in a fighting family, so it is not difficult to settle the guards), but when these people learned their lesson and began to deliberately avoid Zhang Fei, Zhang Fei's appetite grew, the real disaster in Liu Chan came. Of course, there is no way to prove the seriousness of the matter, except that the late ruler Liu Chan often cried behind his back.

Everyone thinks that Liu Chan inherited his father's crying problem, but did Liu Chan cry in Zhao Yun's arms? Did Liu Bei throw him to the ground and cry? Did you cry when you intercepted Mrs. Sun? Thus, Liu Chan was not a crybaby since he was a child. Why did he become a crybaby after he got married? As for another guess, it is even more far-fetched to think that Liu Chan was crying because he was excluded and jealous of Zhuge Liang. Liu Chan seldom hates Zhuge Liang, but this is not because of the issue of rights, which I will mention below. In fact, the reason why Liu Chan cried behind his back, which I have already analyzed at the beginning, is actually caused by his unfortunate marriage life. The whole world thinks that when Liu Chan became emperor, his life was so happy. But when Liu Chan tossed and turned in bed, who really understood his inner pain? We should also note that things are constantly changing, so are abuse and being abused. When Liu Chan began to enjoy the pleasure of being abused, he longed for the pleasure of being abused. He really degenerated, from an ambitious young man to a freak. What is even more frightening is that when this freak holds the supreme power of the country, the people begin to suffer. This is why later generations thought that Liu Chan was a tyrant who was very cruel to maids and eunuchs.

Now that we know the truth, it turns out that Liu Chan is actually just a wicked aborigine. We can't help asking: Who is the director of the whole tragedy? Who is behind that despicable thing? Actually, the answer is obvious Let's take a look at this passage in the Romance of the Three Kingdoms: "When the late Lord didn't set up a queen, Kong Ming and his ministers said", so the daughter of the chariot-riding general Zhang Fei is very virtuous. She is seventeen years old and can be regarded as the queen of the palace. "Why do you want to write Kong Ming and his ministers separately? In fact, this fully shows that the main proponent of this proposal is Liu Chan, the honorable phase father, and other ministers are all interested in Zhuge Liang's suggestions. In order to maintain political consistency, they seconded it, thus ruining Liu Chan's life's "sexual" blessing.

However, Zhuge Liang worked hard all his life, devoted himself to it, and died. Why did he make such a big mistake in choosing a concubine? This will start with Zhuge Liang's unique aesthetic view. Zhuge Liang is really a very unique man. He has always been a maverick since he was a child, and he often disagrees with others.

The Three Kingdoms said: Zhuge Liang can sing for Fu Liang when he is happy. What is the "Song of Fu Liang"? This is an old song, very sad, usually sung at funerals, but Kong Ming likes to sing this song when something good happens. The strangeness can be seen. It's just a small problem of singing and sighing. What's more, Zhuge Liang's aesthetic view of women is quite different from ordinary people. This is a bit like red-green color blindness, specifically, ordinary people think it is beautiful, but Zhuge Liang thinks it is ugly, while ordinary people think it is ugly, but he thinks it is beautiful. Even at the age of being alone, she became the key help object of the aunts in Wolong Village neighborhood committee. I am often called to the neighborhood Committee for a blind date, but I have been refused by Kong Ming for various reasons, but I have been worrying about where to find a beautiful woman.

So, when our Comrade Zhuge saw Huang Yueying MM, he was immediately stunned, his eyes were straight, his neck was hard, he couldn't breathe well, and Halazi was coming out soon. Mouth shouted: "hot mom, there is such a beautiful little lady in the world, which really hooked my soul." That night, I married Miss Huang and went home, which became a legendary story in the streets of Jingzhou: everyone said, "Don't marry Kong Ming, but marry an ugly girl." Later, more busybodies contributed to newspapers, and with the help of booksellers, various versions of books about Kongming's wife became popular. I use my body to save you-my Moon English, Kongming's sexual life, the love story of a handsome toad and an ugly swan, and the discussion of Kongming's marriage on the beauty and ugliness of human nature are all out of stock, so that booksellers are still in short supply. Finally, even the literary and art circles were shocked, so under the decision of a great director, a super-heavyweight shadow play was born, Saving Ugly Yue Ying. The film was a great success and the box office hit a new high. Even Emperor Xian of the Han Dynasty was in tears, and proposed to carry out nationwide activities to learn from Comrade Zhuge Liang's advanced deeds. When everyone was excited about Zhuge Liang's marriage, only Zhuge Liang disappeared. Hehe, he went to hug Huang Yueying MM happily. (Note: Later, according to an in-depth investigation by Wei Yan, a senior reporter of Jingzhou Daily, I found an interesting phenomenon: although all books and scripts have different authors' names, the address for submitting and collecting manuscript fees is XX in Wolong Village, and this address is the address of XXX).

Therefore, on the issue of Liu Chan's marriage, Zhuge Liang just did something bad with good intentions. Out of love for his adopted son Liu Chan, Zhuge Liang decided to find the most beautiful girl in the world as his wife. Therefore, every candidate for a crown princess must be screened by her own eyes to be accurate, and it is stipulated that the selection of future princesses should also be carried out accordingly. When Zhang Fei's eldest daughter stood in front of Zhuge Liang, the old people were shocked to the bone. They sighed in their hearts, "I hate not meeting before I get married." They immediately made a decision and made Zhang Fei's eldest daughter a crown princess. Alas, Liu Chan Jr.' s sexual life was ruined by his respectable father, which is why Liu Chan hated Zhuge Aliang.

Fifteen years later, when Queen Zhang died, she took a long breath and prepared to live a dignified life. Old buddy Jiang Wan jumped out again and inherited Zhuge Liang's legacy. He must make Liu Chan sick to the end. The master married Zhang Fei's youngest daughter into the palace, accepted her as a noble, and later became a queen. Poor Liu Chan, who just caught her breath, thought that she had finally become a faithful wife and had been fooled by God. I wish I were dead. I can't help it Continue to bear.

After n years as a tool of sexual desire, Liu Chan suffered serious physical and mental injuries. At that time, he had lost confidence in life and was completely desperate. When Si Mazhao heard about it, he was very angry and sent Wargo to save him. When he arrived in Xudu, Si Mazhao immediately sent many beautiful women to serve him. No wonder he wants to say something like "I'm happy here, but I don't think about it".