Humorous jokes to relieve boredom.

1. When God closes a door for you, he always leaves many unlocked phone numbers for you on the wall.

As long as you work very hard, one day you will find that you can never close the gap with the rich.

Don't despair because you have no money when you are young, because you have to know that there are still many days when you have no money, so be strong!

4.

Idiot boyfriend goes shopping with me. Tired, don't go, strike, squat down by the side of the road, don't go! I had a brainwave, stood not far from him and shouted at him: don't move, I'll get you some paper! Passers-by searched him with knife-like eyes! He was not tired in an instant and dragged me out of sight!

5. Me: Why did you get me pregnant? I am still a college student. You ruined my future and affected my life! Aunt in the canteen said: your uncle TM kneels every day and asks me to give you more meat. You are fat. How dare you tell me?

6. I once played poker at home with my sister and my neighbor's friends. The scene was quiet and I suddenly farted loudly. Awkward. They didn't say anything. I want to ease the atmosphere and say, Little Sister, it's your turn (to play cards) ... My sister blushed and said, I can't let it out. ...

7. Today, I was crowded to work by bus, only to hear an uncle say, "We are in no hurry, let the young people go first, they are in a hurry to go to work." At that time, I thought my uncle was so handsome, and then I said, "Anyway, we can have seats no matter how late we go."

Eight. The newly bought cup, my father poured me tea, and I took the cup to class. After drinking it, I found a desiccant and a label inside!

Teacher: Students, it's dangerous outside now. It is often said on TV that girls are missing. You should go home right after class. Xiaoming: I found that a girl opposite our building seems to have disappeared! Teacher: How do you know? Xiao Ming: I didn't see her go home to take a shower last night! Teacher: Get out!

10. A woman has the pain of her father when she is young, her husband when she grows up, and her son when she is old. Men listen to their mothers when they are young, their wives when they grow up, and their daughters when they grow old.

1 1. Society can really change people. I used to be an excellent person at school, but now I am a good person. This is what the girls told me.

12. Be sure to remember those who chat with you late into the night. It is because of them that you stay up late, resulting in dark circles and poor skin.

Thirteen. I don't have any outstanding advantages, but I have a special eye for girls. The girls I chased all married good people in the end without exception.

Violence can't solve anything. Why don't we sit down calmly and praise me for an hour, and we'll make up.

Fifteen. big

I went to work for the first time in the second summer vacation. In a Thai restaurant, the supervisor asked us to put our hands together.

Ten, say Sawadika to Gu Ren. I saw a beautiful woman with nervous brain and closed hands.

Ten said amitabha.

16. Others stay in bed because they have money. They can stay up as late as they want. I stay in bed because I have no money, so I can save a meal.

Seventeen. For the same disease, other people's friends ask questions and give medicine to make money; Your friend: Stop bb and hurry up.

I don't know where I got my confidence. I don't study hard and do nothing all day, but I always feel that I will make a lot of money one day. This feeling is extremely strong.

19. What do you mean that Xiuen's love died quickly? It means that girls sleep on the shoulders of boys every day. Finally, the boy got scapulohumeral periarthritis and the girl got cervical spondylosis and died.

two

10. An employee bought a cup with the words "I want a raise" printed on it. Point these words at the boss at every meeting. Finally one day, the boss also bought a cup, which said "fuck off"!

2 1. Someone asked me how to live alone in this society where materials are constantly flowing, and I answered the word "poor".

Twenty-two "What would you do if your boyfriend fell into a cesspit and needed artificial respiration to get him out?" "Even the cesspit can fall into the silly man still take him? Hurry and poke it with a stick. "

23. Q: What advice do you have for female college students? A: Leave.

If you travel for more than three days, be sure to take photos, or someone will tell you to have an abortion behind your back.

I have a dragon robe, and I am as rich as the enemy. I am in power, and I look down on all beings. I spend money like water. I am knowledgeable, intelligent and courageous. I am handsome and handsome, and my wives are like a forest. I am tall and powerful, and I go to spring night every night. I am very attractive and eye-catching. I killed all the people who wronged me, and I cut off all the injustice in the world. I'm awake. I'm going to start moving bricks