The biggest unfairness of people is that they can't choose their parents, and they can't choose to come from a family.

At 2 o'clock in the morning, I have the same confusion as you. I have never been treated violently by my family since I was a child, but it is ok, because there is an elder sister in front and an aunt's younger brother below, and the material aspects of spiritual education are deeply reflected in me. My family is also a mess. My father has no sense of family responsibility and never takes me seriously. I once forgot to eat the sweet potato baked at home. I don't know why he has to take it to school to let me eat. I wanted to ask him for a dime to buy water, and he left with a long face. I will never forget the feeling of being ignored. I feel unworthy and unworthy. It's not a dime, it's not certain. I really hate myself now. I'm scared to death, because in "Born into a Family", my parents cheated because of the tide of going to work in the city. After quarreling for half a lifetime, I was embarrassed in my thirties and finally divorced. My father refused to support me and my sister because he couldn't marry two drag bottles. When my mother went out for divorce, she desperately wanted custody of me and my sister. In fact, she has no ability to support me. She put me in a relative's house. I really feel inferior. No, because I couldn't find her, I went to another relative's house to find her. My relatives drank too much at night, and I was almost raped by my relatives. I jumped out of bed and out of the toilet on the road full of sharp stones and glass. That road was my childhood nightmare! Because of my family background, I am narrow-minded, sensitive and irritable, and have no wisdom to think. I dropped out of school early because I couldn't learn and couldn't sit still. I just want to work quickly to make money, because I don't have my sister's sweet mouth and dare not ask for more. I want to show that I am economical and sensible, because my family always says that my second child is sensible, and I know that as long as I am sensible, my family will like me. Because of these experiences, I didn't manage my marriage well, which led my ex-husband to cheat. My ex-husband had a strong affair, so I quarreled with her. My ex-husband tried to protect it. I was so angry that I had a hand with my husband. I was punched in the eardrum by my ex-husband, and I smashed his head and bled. Now I never thought I would break a head I love and bleed. I'm crazy. I'm angry. Now that I think about it, all my experiences are like a joke, one joke after another. In China, many girls who are hurt by son preference, many original partners who have been cheated, many, many. Now I am divorced, too. My ex-husband didn't like the freedom to take care of the children, so he pushed the children to me. Now I'm a walking corpse, telling myself to live and raising my spirits to take care of my children. Who will take care of your dead child? The fate of your dead child is not as good as yours. I'm really sorry about my children. Before I gave birth to him, I told myself that no matter what happened in the future, I would take good care of him and give him a complete family and a beautiful childhood. Ex-lover forced me to divorce by cold violence, didn't give her children living expenses and didn't visit her. It was really unbearable to move out of the house and live together openly with an affair. As long as I begged him to look after the children, he forced me to divorce, and I was hurt by the person I loved most. After the divorce, I fell into a fault and always had nightmares. In my dream, I seem to have only the ability to cry, and my heart aches every time I wake up. Kindness is a choice, which is why I never associate with men and have a family and an object. Now I am sponsored by my mother's family, and my mother remarried, which is still not good. Her personality is too strong, too strong, and will only oppress her family. She is very nice and generous outside. I know I am the epitome of her. The child's teacher is unfair to the child. I can only communicate and dare not fight for the interests of the child. At home, the child made a little mistake, and I suppressed the child like a madman. I was ugly and scolded twice, even twice. I can't believe I scolded the child. I'm really crazy. I really don't want him to be my epitome, but I can't help it. I really want to die. This is not what I want to do. I can't control my emotions. I hate myself. The ex-husband and his family forced me to divorce without considering the future of the children. I have to cooperate with them to look after the children, so that the children can feel more care and reduce harm. I drink beer occasionally to relax my nerves. As a result, my son told my mother last night that I wanted to drink it, too, because you drank it, and I knew it would be over if I didn't give up drinking in front of the children. For the sake of children, I am willing to change. After writing so much, the grievances and anger have faded a little. That's because my children are excellent, even a little. I love studying and love me very much. Finally, I just want to live well, for my children. I want to use all my savings to let him learn what he likes, enrich his spirit and cultivate him to face life bravely. I believe I can do it.