Humorous English stories bring problems.

Old Cat An old woman has a cat. This cat is very old; She can't run fast and can't bite, because she is too old. One day, the old cat saw a mouse; She jumped up and caught the mouse. But she can't bite it; So the mouse ran out of her mouth because the cat couldn't bite it. Then the old woman became very angry because the cat didn't kill the mouse. She started hitting the cat. The cat said, "don't hit your old servant." I have worked for you for many years, and I will continue to work for you, but I am too old. Don't be unkind to the elderly, but remember the good things they did when they were young. An old woman has a cat. This cat is very old. It can't run fast and can't bite, because it is too old. One day, the old cat found a mouse. It jumped up to catch the mouse. However, it can't bite the mouse. So the mouse slipped out of its mouth, because the old cat couldn't bite it. So the old woman was very angry because the old cat didn't kill the mouse. She started hitting the cat. The cat said, "don't hit your old servant." I have served you for many years, and I am willing to help you. However, I am too old. Don't be so cruel to old people. Remember what old people do when they are young. "A man is going to a rich man's house. When he was walking along the road, he saw a box of good apples by the road. He said, "I don't want to eat those apples;" Because the rich will give me a lot of food; He will give me very good food to eat. " Then he picked up the apples and threw them into the dust. He walked on until he came to a river. This river is very big; So he can't walk there. He waited for a while; Then he said, "I can't go to the rich family today because I can't cross the river." "He began to go home. He didn't eat that day He began to want food. He came to the apple and happily took it out of the dust and ate it. Don't throw away good things; You may be happy to have them at other times. A man is walking towards a rich man's house. When he was walking on the road, he found a box of good apples on the roadside. He said, "I'm not going to eat those apples, because the rich will give me more food and he will give me something delicious." Then he picked up the apple and threw it into the soil. He walked on until he came to the river. The river overflowed, so he couldn't reach the other side. He waited for a while and then said, "I can't go to the rich family today because I can't cross the river." He began to go home. He didn't eat that day. He began to look for food. He found the apples, happily turned them out of the dust and ate them. Don't throw away good things, you will find them useful next time. City Mouse and Country Mouse Once upon a time, there were no mice. They are friends. A mouse lives in the country; Another mouse lives in the city. Many years later, the country mouse saw the city mouse; He said, "Be sure to visit me at my house in the country." So the city mouse went. The city mouse said, "This food is not good, and neither is your house. Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should leave and live in the city. You will live in a beautiful stone house. You will have delicious food. You must come and see me at my home in the city. The country mouse went to the city mouse's house. This is a very nice house. Delicious food is ready for them. But just as they began to eat, they heard a loud noise. The city mouse cried, "Run! Run! That cat is singing! "They ran away and hid quickly. After a while, they came out. When they came out, the country mouse said, "I don't like living in the city." I like living in my hole in the field. Because poverty and happiness are beautiful, thank you for being rich and Africa. "Once upon a time, there were two mice. They are good friends. One mouse lives in the country and the other in the city. Many years later, the country mouse met the city mouse and said, "You must come to my country home." So the city mouse went. The country mouse took him to his home in the field. It finds all the best food for city mice. The city mouse said, "this dish is not delicious, and your home is not good either." Why do you live in a hole in the field? "You should move to the city. You can live in a beautiful house made of stone and eat delicious food. You should visit my home in the city. " The country mouse went to the city mouse's house. The house is beautiful and delicious food is prepared for them. But just as they were about to start eating, they heard a loud noise. The mouse in the city shouted, "Run! Run! Here comes the cat! " They ran away and hid as fast as possible. After a while, they came out. When they came out, the country mouse said, "I don't like living in the city." I like living in my hole in the field. " Because being poor but happy is better than being rich but living a life of fear. "Teacher: Why are you late every morning? Tom: Every time I pass the corner near the school, I see a sign that says "School-Go Slow". Teacher: Why are you late every morning? Tom: Every time I pass the corner of the school, I see a sign that says "School-Go Slow". A good boy, Robert Jr., asked his mother for money. What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday? ""I gave it to a poor old woman, "he replied." "You are a good boy," mother said proudly. There is still 0 cents left. But why are you so interested in that old woman? ""She is the candy seller. ""Good boy Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he replied. "You are such a good boy," mother said proudly. "Give you two cents. But why are you so interested in that old lady? " "She sells sweets." One day, a father and his little son were drunk and were about to go home. At this age, boys are interested in all kinds of things and always ask questions. Now, he asked, "Dad, what does the word' drunk' mean?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there is a policeman standing there. If I think there are four policemen, then I am drunk. " "But, Dad," said the boy, "there is only one policeman!" One day, the father was drunk and took his youngest son home. The child is at the age of being interested in everything and always has endless questions. He asked his father, "Dad, what does the word' drunk' mean?" "Well, son," the father replied, "Look, there are two policemen standing there. If I see that they are four, then I am drunk. " "But, Dad," said the child, "there is only one policeman there!" A bird flies to the south for the winter. It was so cold that the birds almost froze. So, I flew to a big clearing, passed by a cow, and pressed the bird on a pile of cow dung. The frozen bird lay on the dung heap, feeling very warm, and gradually recovered. It lay very warm and soon began to sing. A passing wild cat heard the sound, saw it, and followed the sound. The wild cat quickly found the bird lying on the dung heap and pulled it out. How to survive: not everyone who brings shit to you is your enemy. Every one of you who is not from the dunghill is your friend, and when you lie on the dunghill, you'd better keep your mouth shut. A bird in the dunghill flew south for the winter. It was so cold that the birds almost froze. So, I flew to a large clearing, and a cow passed by and pulled a pile of cow dung on the bird. The frozen bird lay in the dunghill, feeling warm and waking up gradually. It lay in a warm and comfortable place and soon began to sing. A passing wild cat heard the noise and went over to see what was going on. Following the sound, the wild cat quickly found the bird lying in the dunghill and dragged it out to eat it. Survival: Not everyone who shits you is your enemy. Not everyone who pulls you out of the dunghill is your friend. When you are lying in the dunghill, you'd better keep your mouth shut. Little Robert asked his mother for a penny. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You are a good boy," mother said proudly. "There are 0 cents here. But why are you so interested in that old woman? " She is a candy seller. "A good boy, Robert, asked his mother for two cents." What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday? "Good boy" I gave it to a poor old woman, "he replied. "You are a good boy," mother said proudly. Here's another two cents. But why are you so interested in that old lady? "She sells sweets." The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest because there was no cheese in the apple pie she served. The little boy in this family quietly left the room for a while and came back with a piece of cheese and put it on the guest's plate. The guest smiled, put the cheese in his mouth and said, "Son, your eyes are definitely better than your mother's. Where did you find the cheese? " "In the rat trap, sir," the boy replied. Since there was no cheese at home when the guests ate apple pie, the hostess apologized to everyone. The little boy in this family left home quietly. After a while, he returned to his room with a piece of cheese and put it on the guest's plate. The guest smiled and put the cheese in his mouth and said, "Son, your eyes are just better than your mother's. Where did you find the cheese? " "On the mousetrap, sir." The little boy said. What do you mean? I tried to stop it. "Son, why did you plug your ears with cotton? Is it infected? " "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other, so I'm trying to stop it." "Son, why did you plug your ears with cotton? Is it infected? " "No, teacher. But you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other, so I'm going to plug it up. " "I'm sorry, madam, but I have to charge you 20 dollars for pulling your child's tooth." "enty d dollars! Why, I understand you said you only charge four dollars for such a job! " "Yes, but the young man shouted and scared the other four patients out of the office." "Sorry, madam, I have to charge $20 for pulling your child's tooth." "Twenty dollars! Why? I didn't say it was only 4 yuan. " "Yes, but your child made a hullabaloo about and scared all the other four patients away." Teacher: We all know that expansion with heat and contraction with cold will cause objects to expand. Now, who can give me a good example? John: Well, the days are long in summer and short in winter. Teacher: We all know that heat expands and cold contracts. Now, who can give me an example? John: Well, the days are long in summer and short in winter. The lecturer of evolution has been talking for nearly 0 hours. Then he started again. He said, "Let me ask the evolutionist a question-if we have tails like baboons, where are they?" "Let me try," said an old lady. "We have been worried about them sitting here for so long." The teacher who taught evolution has been talking for almost two hours, and his topic comes again: "Let me ask the evolutionist a question-if we used to have tails like baboons, where are our tails now?" "Let me try," said an old lady. "We must have worn them off after sitting here for so long." Click this link////learning.sohu/yingyuyoumo.s for more information:

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