Who can tell me a joke that praises me to be beaten?

I am a mature man, but I am young and burly, giving people the feeling of being a big brother.

I have a successful career, I am the boss, I take my notebook everywhere, and my car is more spacious than Lincoln. Years of edification in Peking University have created my cultural taste. In my spare time, I study the ancient history of China, especially the history of Qing Dynasty. I can keep up with the trend of the times. I'm tired of dealing with high society, so I often observe the situation. I am very concerned about the details of ordinary people's lives and the wealth level of ordinary people. I pay attention to adjusting the inequality between the rich and the poor, which has aroused strong social repercussions. I heard that someone wanted to interview me. I did too many interviews before, so I went to other places to hide and be quiet, just to cultivate my self-cultivation. You know, people of my level will definitely not go by train, but because of my fame, the whole country knows me and invited me to do interviews, eat and live for free, and exercise for free. Honey, come on, you'll be satisfied the first time you see me.

My self-report may just be your dream girl. Do you want to see me?

It may be nothing to see above, but it is different to see the following explanation:

I am a mature man-57 years old;

But I look young-my face is covered with acne;

Big guy, giving people a feeling of big brother: Song Wu's big brother;

I have a successful career and am the boss-the boss of the cold drink stand;

Carry a notebook with you-a notebook to record the sales of cold drinks;

My car is more spacious than Lincoln's bus;

The influence of Peking University for many years has made my cultural taste-I once sold cold drinks by the unnamed lake;

In my spare time, I study the ancient history of China, especially the Qing history-I like watching Princess Zhu Huan;

I can also keep up with the trend of the times-I know which cold drinks are good to sell this year;

I'm tired of dealing with the upper class-the president of Peking University told me many times: "Don't set up a stall by the lake";

So I often observe the situation-I want to set up a stall in a residential area;

I am very concerned about the details of ordinary people's lives-to see whose doors and windows are not closed well;

Care about the wealth level of ordinary people-after entering the house, see what is valuable;

I pay attention to adjusting the inequality between the rich and the poor-taking valuables home;

It has aroused strong social repercussions-residents in the community are both angry and afraid of serial theft;

I heard someone was going to interview me-the police were coming to arrest me for questioning;

I have done too many such interviews before-I have been arrested many times;

Go somewhere else and hide quietly-escape;

It's just self-cultivation-nursing the wound that fell when jumping out of the window;

You know, people at my level will definitely not take the train-ride a tricycle to Tianjin;

But because of my fame, the whole country knows that I entered the "national pursuit" network of the Ministry of Public Security;

Or invited to do an interview-finally caught;

It also includes food and shelter-three years in prison;

And free fitness-labor reform;

Come on, honey, you'll be satisfied the first time you see me-you don't want to see me again.