A few good jokes.

There were ugly twins in high school. One day I heard them talking in the bathroom.

Sister: "Sister, the new boys in our class always look at me. Do you think he likes me? "

It is estimated that my sister also likes that boy, and the reaction is a little strong: "Like a fart, just like you!" "

After a silence, my sister said, "Sister, are we different?"

I didn't wake up in the morning and went to work by car. The bus is too crowded to get to the coin box.

Someone shouted at the back, handsome boy, help me and give me money. He took an ic card sleepily and threw it into the coin box. ...

At that moment, I held the whole bus. ...

Every class has such an iconic figure at school, and every unit has such a person at work. I am such a person.

Whenever you meet me at school and at work, everyone will speed up and say it's too late to walk behind him!

Due to the poor skills of traders,

The first round was not in place, the second round was not in place, and then the third round was not in place.

At this time, the retail investor cried, holding the thigh of the chairman of the CSRC and saying, "Brother, you confiscated my money!" ! I don't want it, it's too scary ... "

A shareholder died,

His wife told a friend, "After my husband died, I was left with only 30 million!" " "

Eyes full of doubt and jealousy,

Ask her, "Isn't that enough?"

She said, "What this damn fool left me was not money. He told me to take good care of my children, be filial to my parents, and never go to stocks! "

Komatsu asked Xiaoming, "What will your parents do to you if you fail in the exam?" ?

"80 points or less is a women's singles; Men's singles are below 70 points; If the score below 60 is mixed doubles for men and women! "

The dog said to the bear, marry me and you will be happy.

The bear said, I won't marry. If I marry you, I will only have a bear. If I marry a cat, I will have a panda. That would be noble!

Computer examination, first in the preparation area, and then through a large glass door into the examination area.

After I finished the exam, I touched the door for a long time, but I couldn't touch the glass.

The teacher next to me kindly reminded me: "classmate, the door is open."

A: I saw a woman weigh herself yesterday and cried.

B: What's the matter? I saw a woman standing on the weighing scale yesterday. I saw the scale crying.

My dream life: I sleep until I wake up naturally and count my money until my hand cramps.

My real life: count the money until I wake up naturally and sleep until my hands cramp. ...

The unfairness of this world lies in:

God said: I want light! -So one day.

The beauty said: I want a diamond ring! -So she got a diamond ring.

The rich man said: I want a woman! -So he has a woman.

I said: I want to take a shower! -Actually, the water was cut off!

I always flip a coin when I wake up in the morning.

If my head is raised, I will go back to sleep.

If my back is up, I will lie in bed and watch TV.

If the coin stands up after landing, I will get up and tidy up the house.

A man is happy to have a son. When the son just learned to speak, he said to his son every day, "Call Dad."

The son also said, "Call Dad."

Over time, my son developed this habit. When he saw him, he said, "Call Dad."

He had no choice, so he began to correct it. Now he says to his son every day, "Dad."