A complete collection of classic jokes of husband and wife

1. When the husband and wife sleep together at night, there are always many mosquitoes buzzing around and they can't sleep. The wife doesn't let her husband light mosquito-repellent incense, which makes him very anxious. One day, the wife bought a mosquito net from the supermarket and came back and said to her husband, "Hang a mosquito net and sleep naked in it to tease mosquitoes and make them anxious."

One day, for his wife's birthday, her husband specially ordered flowers and sent them to his wife's company.

After receiving the flowers, the wife called her husband and said, "Did you send the flowers?"

The husband said, "Happy birthday, dear. I love you. "

The wife said, "So what? I like your initials. They are not a joke. "

The husband said, "Well, let's get a divorce!"

The wife said, "honey, I was wrong, okay?"

3. The husband had a mistress outside and was found by his wife. The wife was very angry and slapped her husband.

The wife said, "One foot is two boats, right?" Divorce, have a mistress to accompany you in the future! "

The husband said, "I get dizzy by boat." How can I have two feet on both sides? "

4. One day, the weather was very good. The husband took his wife by the hand and went for a walk in the park. After walking for more than ten minutes, I saw a couple sitting on the grass and kissing passionately.

The wife asked angrily, "You see how caring people are. Why don't you do it? "

The husband replied in dismay, "honey, it's a pity that I don't know that woman!" " "

Tang Xiao next door married a very nagging wife, and Tang Xiao was bored to death by her. One night, when Tang Xiao was getting ready for bed, Tang Xiao's wife suddenly gave him a hard push and said, "Why don't you go to bed and see if the gas, doors, windows and water heaters are all turned off?"

Tang Xiao shouted angrily: "Don't worry, wife, except for your chatterbox, everything that should be closed is closed!" "

6. One day, the wife was sitting on the sofa, wondering whether her husband loved her.

The wife asked her husband, "Husband, do you love me?"

The husband readily replied: "love, definitely love!" " "

My wife didn't believe me and asked, "Are you afraid of hurting me?"

The husband quickly said, "How dare I? I say this because I am afraid that you will hurt me. "