Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Li Zongwu's "six characters in black" is which six words?
Li Zongwu's "six characters in black" is which six words?
(1) Seeking the official six-character mantra
The six-character mantra of seeking an official: "Empty, tribute, rush, praise, fear and send". These six words are squeaky, meaning as follows:
1. Vacancy, that is, the meaning of leisure, is divided into two types: First, as far as affairs are concerned, those who seek officials must put everything down, not work, not career, not agriculture, not education, not reading, not learning to teach, and wholeheartedly seek officials. Second, as far as time is concerned, people who ask for officials should be patient and not in a hurry. They won't take effect today, and they will come again tomorrow. They don't take effect this year. Come back next year.
2. The word "Gong" is borrowed, which is a common saying in Sichuan. Its meaning is equivalent to the word "drill", and "drill in and drill out" can be said to be "tribute". As we all know, seeking an official means seeking a job, but it is not easy to define it. Someone said: "The definition of tribute is that if there is a hole, it must be drilled." I said, "Wrong! Only halfway through, you can only drill if you have a hole. What can I do without a hole? " My definition is: "if there is a hole, you have to drill, and if there is no hole, you have to enter." Expansion and expansion with holes; If there is no hole, take out the drill and open a new hole.
3. Chong, commonly known as "bragging", is "rushing hats and shells" in Sichuan dialect. There are two kinds of punching time: one is oral and the other is written. Verbally, there are two kinds: ordinary places and in front of the boss; There are two languages: newspapers, magazines and speaking, posting and writing.
4. Peng is even more supportive. Wei Zhongxian appeared on the stage, and Huaxin's actions were exemplary.
5. Fear means intimidation and is a transitive verb. This word is very profound, so I might as well say a few more words. What is an official, how precious it is, and how can it be easily given to others? Some people hold the word to 120 thousand, but it still doesn't take effect, which shows that there is less time to be afraid of the word; Every ruler has his weaknesses. As long as you find his key and touch it gently, he will be surprised and immediately send it to the official. Scholars should know that the fear of words and the persistence of words are mutually useful. Fear-loving people have fear in their hands, and onlookers watch what he says in front of the boss. Every word is flattery, but it's actually a sneak attack. The boss is sweating like a pig. People who are good at holding hands are afraid of holding hands among them, and people who watch will look at him proudly and blame his boss for every word. In fact, the recipient was filled with joy and his joints were crisp. "A skillful craftsman can give people rules, but he can't give people cleverness", which requires the careful understanding of officials. The most important thing is to use the word "fear" in a measured way. If overused, adults will feel ashamed and angry. Isn't it contrary to the purpose of seeking officials? Why bother? The word fear cannot be used easily unless there is no other choice.
6. Send, that is, send something, which can be divided into two types: big send, and package with silver dollar bills; Small gifts, such as spring tea, burning elbows and inviting people out to dinner. There are two kinds of people to send, one is the one who has the right to choose, and the other is the one who can help me without the right to choose.
These six words have been done, ensuring that every word has a miraculous effect. The so-called great man, while sitting alone in meditation, said to himself: someone wants to be an official, and he has said it many times (this is the effect of empty talk). He has something to do with me (this is the effect of dedication), he is smart (this is the effect of typist), and he is very kind to me (this is the effect of holding words). However, this person is a little crooked. If he is not placed, he may not make trouble (this is the effect of being afraid of words). Thinking of this, he turned around and saw many dark places on the table (this is the effect of speaking), so he had nothing to say and posted a card: someone was missing.
Inviting an official here can be described as a complete success. So he took office and cultivated the six-character mantra of being an official.
(2) The mantra of being an official.
The truth of being an official is: "empty, respectful, nervous, fierce, deaf and funny." These six words are all flat tones, meaning as follows:
1. Empty means empty. First, in terms of writing, all submissions and proclamations are empty, and I can't elaborate on the mystery. Please go to the military and political organs and look at the words on the wall, and you will suddenly realize; Second, doing business, no matter what you do, is a lively activity. Either in the east or in the west. Sometimes it is very efficient. Actually, there is a retreat. If the situation is bad, pull away from that road and never implicate yourself.
2. Courtesy is kowtowing, flattering and smiling, which can be divided into direct and indirect. It has direct meaning to the boss, and indirect meaning to the boss's relatives and friends, servants and concubines.
3. Nervousness, also known as nervousness in common sayings, is the antonym of the word Gong, which refers to subordinates and ordinary people. There are two kinds: one is about looks, he is a great man, but he can't do it; Second, in terms of speech, he looks very rich and talented. For the place where Mi Zan is located, the son doesn't have to be the boss. Where Mi Zan is not, it is not necessarily subordinates and ordinary people. Sometimes the power to refute is not in the boss, but the boss may be stretched; Sometimes, the right to refute, fuck subordinates or ordinary people, should be changed to respect. This way is vivid, ingenious and single-minded.
4. Fierce, as long as I can achieve my goal, he will die without scruple, destroying his family, selling children and sticking to women; However, it should be noted that there must be a layer of moral benevolence and righteousness above the fierce word.
5. Deaf is deaf: "Be laughed at by him and be a good official yourself." However, the word deaf contains the meaning of blindness, abuse and closing one's eyes.
6. If you get it, you get the money. The Sichuan proverb is pronounced Pingsheng. Thousands of miles, the knot here, the first eleven words, are all designed for this word. Getting the message is in contrast to asking officials to send the message. Where there are gifts, there are words. The most important thing to pay attention to in this word is to be able to pass the business before success. Sometimes if you can't get through, you might as well put some money in your pocket; If it passes, give him as much as he wants. You're welcome.
I just outlined the outline of the above twelve words, but many of the essence did not come into play. Those who are interested in being an official can study for themselves.
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