Funny words that are not serious in class

1. The frog took a bottle of Erguotou and went to the tortoise's house to pray for the secret of longevity. The tortoise blew on the spout. He said slowly, "It's actually quite simple. No matter what happens, stick your head in first. "

2, the sister paper is the standard Wang Xifeng's phoenix eye. When I was in physical education class, I was talking to the girl next to me. The teacher suddenly stopped me. I was scared out in a cold sweat. The teacher stared at me and said, "classmate, you are a phoenix eye, and you will be rich in the future." That's it. You scared me to death.

3. When I was in college, the counselor told everyone at the class meeting that you boys should not always indulge in the internet. Wash the quilt when you have time to surf the internet. It's dirty enough to fly.

4. There are frequent scandals in Wuhan University. I don't know if this counts. Wuhan University has a Zhouyi class, and the teacher comes in with a compass. I walked around the classroom in a trance. Then, spit out a sentence: classmates, today is not suitable for class, after school!

That day, in the morning, the dining hall stood in line to cook, and looked at the back, behind which stood a beautiful woman. She just stood still, and the beauty turned around. This is a tragedy. The porridge was gorgeous and poured all over me along my brother's clothes. The girl looked at a loss. I tried to suppress my anger and wanted to go back to the dormitory to change clothes. At this time, the girl spoke and said something that made me think of it at sixes and sevens every time.

6. Two second-rate roommates went to play table tennis. Because of my poor skills, I suddenly want to imitate the domineering feeling of the world champion. So they grabbed the ball in their hands and waved their rackets at each other desperately, with a voice-over in their mouths. As soon as the lovely girl paper passed by, the giant worshiped and said, you are so amazing that you can't see the fastball!

7. I went to study art one night, and there were many mosquitoes. Who knows that a mosquito stopped on the art teacher's leg and died two seconds later! I said to the teacher, teacher, a mosquito fainted on your leg. The teacher said, of course, my jeans have not been washed for more than two months.

8. In the dormitory, after lights out, the wet nurse was the last one to take a bath. Ask me what you used to take a bath today. There is no soap in the whole dormitory. I just washed it with facial cleanser. I replied that I washed it with Head & Shoulders. Next to the ghost B said, I'm still hanging, using carved transparent soap. Xiao B, who didn't talk for a long time, said faintly that the Libai washing powder I used specially didn't hurt my hands and my whole body was very hot.

9. Colleagues live in the upper bunk when they go to school, and put a small table to read at night. When they got up in the morning, the table was gone. When I got out of bed and saw it posted on the lower pavement, I quickly picked it up. The nosebleeds are dry, and their eyes are blue. Nima didn't wake up! Get up and ask him, answer: at night, my mother felt something hit me in the face, so I was too lazy to wake up! Too lazy to wake up! I really envy this kind of sleep quality!

10, junior high school, a teacher who is usually very strict copied the questions on the blackboard and said, sorry, I copied the wrong line. Just when the whole class was quiet, the deskmate in Class Two roared loudly because I stepped on his dropped pen: You are blind! The friends are shocked! !

165438+ The elder brother cried and said with a full face of grievances, I really didn't laugh, but my teeth were a little awkward, and my teeth were a little awkward!

12, "Teacher, I want to ask for leave." "What's the matter with you?" "I feel dizzy in class." "Get out!" "Thank you, teacher!"

13. When I was in LZ Primary School, I had to run a circle in physical education class at first. Luo Luo Luo, a classmate didn't want to run away, so he found a tree with arm thickness and then quietly hid behind it. The teacher explained this idiom to us on the spot.

14, there is a sister paper in the class, lively and active, and often fights with my deskmate. She bullied her deskmate against the wall again today. The boy said, let me go, or I'll fight back! This sister paper roared: You can't beat me. I didn't have my period today, and I was covered in blood!

15, "Do junior eat? I just waited in line for a long time to get this meal. " "Oh, thank you! Thank you, senior! " "Well, you're welcome. Get in line. There will be more people in the future! " "……"

16, it is said that one day in Chinese class, the Chinese teacher (forbidding students to drink water in class) was giving a lecture. One or two students picked up the cup, drank the saliva slowly, and covered the lid slowly under the teacher's gaze. We were just about to feel sorry for him when he said to the teacher with a serious face: teacher, I am sick. I'm really sick. The teacher is in a hurry.

17, physical examination, boys do push-ups and girls do sit-ups. A female classmate did several sit-ups and couldn't get up. The teacher didn't give points. She did 42 push-ups in a rage, which took 39 seconds. Full marks! ! ! This is not China paper anymore, but a strong woman, right?

18, military training, the instructor asked to write military training. There is a wonderful article that says, "There are a group of small instructors on the other side of the mountain and the sea. They are lonely and lonely. They are healthy and obscene! " The result was upside down for 20 minutes.

19, in today's Chinese class, the teacher talked about sinking fish and falling geese. One or two forced the students to say that this beautiful woman scared the fish to death, and Zhaojun scared the geese to fly. It should be awkward to grow.

20. In English class, the young female teacher complained: "Some students' homework is too sloppy and not serious. I really want to tear it up and throw it in the wastebasket, so there is no need to correct it. But I didn't do it after all. At this time, a boy's face showed regret: "You are always too soft-hearted, too soft-hearted." After hearing this, the female teacher shook her head and said with a wry smile, "I corrected it by myself until dawn. "

2 1, just having an English class, the teacher didn't come. Some people say that he is a substitute: your teacher got married yesterday, which is a happy event. This morning, he said he was too tired to come! Alas ... alas ... it's not what you think! The whole class laughed.

At three o'clock in the middle of the night, the doctor was awakened by the phone. A pleading voice came from the microphone: "Doctor, I have insomnia again. What should I do? " The doctor said angrily, "Hold on to the microphone and listen to me sing you a lullaby!" " "

23. Wife: "Look at you, there were so many wrinkles on your forehead when you were young!" " Husband: "Really? How many? " Wife: "Wearing a hat is like screwing a screw."

24. Donor: "Master, haven't I been very smooth recently?" Master: "Look at you in Tang Yin, you will meet a big murderer recently!" " "Donor:" Master, how to solve it? "Master:" Go to the underwear store and wait! " "

Recently, a group of buddies in the class always don't hand in their homework. The teacher was very angry. Scold them in front of the whole class: "How can you come to school without doing your homework?" ! Being a student is totally different from being a student! Don't come to school without doing your homework in the future! "After the teacher's lesson, the situation has really made a major breakthrough. More than half of the students didn't come to class the next day! This article comes from

26. My mother asked for leave to go home and take her three-year-old daughter shopping. Before going out, the mother said to her daughter, Say goodbye to the nanny. Daughter says goodbye, when mother says, kiss aunt. The daughter shook her head in fear and refused to kiss her aunt. Mother said angrily: Why not kiss? The daughter still said loudly in a scared tone: Dad was beaten badly after stealing his aunt this morning!

27. This classmate has a huge internet addiction and often asks for leave to go to Internet cafes. All kinds of reasons for stomach pain and eye pain have been exhausted. The class teacher didn't ask for leave for him recently. Today, I went downstairs with him, and we went together. Suddenly, he slipped and fell to the ground with his face first. I ran to help him up. I thought he would say something about pain. Unexpectedly, the first thing the goods said to me was: Look, can I ask for leave with this face!

28. When I was young, there was a classmate named Zheng Yue in our class. Because the handwriting is too ugly, once the teacher handed out homework and shouted "Guanyin" several times, but no one answered. We also wonder why there is Guanyin in the class.