The story of Su Xiaomei.

Many ancient books recorded that Su Xiaomei was the sister of Su Dongpo, a great scholar in the Song Dynasty, but in fact, Su Dongpo did not.

Sister's and sister's, that is to say, Su Xiaomei was later invented by scholars. This role is in

The literati's pen is a beautiful, naughty and talented display, so the story about her is more or less the same.

"Talent, appearance and eroticism" are related. We have collected some stories about Su Xiaomei for you.

First, the temple dialogue.

When Su Xiaomei 15 years old, he was very beautiful and talented, so some talented young people sought the media.

When his younger brother Su Dongpo was appointed as the secretariat of Hangzhou, he appreciated the talent of the famous Qin Guan () and introduced an article by Qin.

After showing it to Su Xiaomei, Su Xiaomei praised it: "Today's talents are the bachelor of Longge in the Ming Dynasty, and there is no Soviet Union."

; You can indulge for a while. With the help of Su Dongpo, Qin Shaoyou finally got engaged to Su Xiaomei through a matchmaker.

In ancient times, men and women were not close. Qin Shaoyou had never seen Su Xiaomei before her marriage, although he heard that Su Xiaomei was very beautiful.

But after all, my heart is not practical. One day, when he learned that Su Xiaomei was going to a temple to worship Buddha, he bribed the temple to host and pretend.

Dressed as a young monk, wait in the temple.

After Su Xiaomei put on incense, he sat in front of the statue and read Buddhist scriptures, without looking at the young monk next to him. For a long time, he struggled.

I yawned and fell asleep on the sofa, which made Qin Shaoyou, a monk, very painful. He didn't leave until the incense master left. He was too tired to stand up.

After a long time, I dare not move. Su Xiaomei didn't wake up until he slept enough, still yawning, without looking at the monk Qin Shaoyou.

Angry, some couplets swore: "Yan Nv lies on her back with her big mouths straight." At this time, Su Xiaomei found a small sum of money.

When she was still scolding her, she immediately replied: "Bald men salute, two bald heads up and down."

Second, the bridal chamber telegraph sentence

Qin Shaoyou and Su Xiaomei finally got married. On their wedding night, Su Xiaomei was naughty again and set up several checkpoints.

Difficult Qin Shaoyou, one is to test his intelligence, and the other is to test his character. What kind of person is Qin Shaoyou? He is the most successful.

After a test, Su Xiaomei asked for the next sentence: "Open the window and close the door to see the moon", which stumped Qin Shaoyou at once.

It seems simple, but it's hard to tell. The great genius is struggling. Su Dongpo, who is far away, looks at his naughty sister and is embarrassed by Qin.

I felt sorry for swimming less, so I quietly threw a stone into the yard. Qin Shaoyou was moved by this scene and had a brainwave.

The last sentence: "throw a stone to break the underwater sky."

Third, aunt's dialogue.

When Su Xiaomei was at home, because Sue's family only had this daughter, everyone spoiled her, so she often drove with her two brothers and sister-in-law.

A joke. Su Dongpo's face was very long, and he sneered, "A little lovesick tears drop in spring, and you get it in autumn." Su Dongpo also

I can only smile bitterly. On this day, Su Xiaomei and Su Dongpo's wife, two sisters-in-law, dressed in red and green, are playing in the back garden, their hands.

While reading a Chinese book, I teased my sister-in-law: "My sister-in-law wears red hands and holds Korean (Korean)." Su Dongpo's wife is

Right: "My sister looks at green and wants blue (male)."

Fourth, Mr. tease.

When Su Jia was in Hangzhou, she specially invited a private school teacher to give lessons to her children. This gentleman heard that Miss Su's family is both talented and beautiful, so it's only a few thousand.

Try every means to find opportunities. On this day, he wrote a antithetical couplet: "A guest comes to the door, awakening Wan Li's dream of spring" and asked Sue.

Dongpo's son is right, but Dongpo's son is wrong. He went to the backyard to beg his aunt Su Xiaomei, and Su Xiaomei said to him, "Nobody sleeps together.

Waste a piece of spring. "In this way, the students passed it on, and Teacher Wang added," Six feet is fine, three feet are wrapped around the waist, and three feet fall.

"(Su Xiaomei likes to wrap HongLing around his waist), and Su Xiaomei said," A quilt covers half the body and half the leisure ". This gentleman is very tall.

Xi thought Su Xiaomei was interested and threw a stone to ask the way: "The wind is tight and the forest is dense. Ask the woodcutter how to start? " Su Xiaomei a look.

Knowing that Mr. Wang had misunderstood, he said, "The mountain is high and the water is deep, so advise the fisherman to turn back as soon as possible." Mr. Wang was cold at first sight, but he refused.

Losing face, he said, "Bamboo has no intention, but Ye is the foreign minister." Su Xiaomei replied, "Although the lotus root has holes, its chest is not contaminated with dust.

This gentleman misunderstood Su Xiaomei's original intention again, thinking that Su Xiaomei's dual is "try again".

Probe: "Li Bai, when will these flowers bloom?" Su Xiaomei was also angry: "Mr. He is such an asshole?

"Mr Got scolded and died. In the New Year, Su Xiaomei married Qin Shaoyou. Later, she gave birth to two sons in one breath. It was a full moon banquet.

In fact, Mr. Wang looked at the twins in Su Xiaomei's arms and asked, "Which of these two sons is Mr. Wang's?" A pun intended to take advantage.

Su Xiaomei immediately replied: "Regardless of her husband's descendants, they are all my sons!"

Five, scold the monk

In spring, Su Xiaomei visited the West Lake by boat, accompanied by a scholar and a monk. The scholar wrote a poem and said, "Three people are in the same boat.

Miss, your face is like oil, and you will marry your husband next year-Feng Hou! "The old monk said with bedroom eyes," three people are in the same boat, but the wind is small.

Sister skirt, the skirt foot was blown away by the wind-cracked! "Su Xiaomei was furious:" The scholar is really polite, and the monk is really damn, cracking the monk's mouth.

-shameless (tooth)! "

Legend has it that Su Xiaomei was the sister of Su Shi, one of the eight famous poets in Tang and Song Dynasties. She is from Meizhou (now Meishan, Sichuan). She studied poetry from an early age and was proficient in management. She is a talented woman. It can be said that the Sichuan spirit in the Song Dynasty was the product of the Su family, and his father Su Xun and his brothers Su Shi and Su Zhe were all talented people. The so-called "father and son three-character guests, four great writers through the ages." Su Xiaomei looks dignified and beautiful, and her figure is neither fat nor thin. His thin lips, round face, dark eyes, high forehead and prominent chin look like a shrewd man. She loved to compete with her two brothers since she was a child. There are many stories about her in the world.

1, brother and sister smiled at each other.

Su Dongpo joked that his sister Su Xiaomei's forehead bulged out:

Three or five steps before going out of the hall, first go to the painting hall;

Su Xiaomei ·Xi·Xi smiled and immediately refuted the bearded Su Dongbo:

There is a clump of mourning grass between the lips, and the hair is even apricot;

I didn't see my lips move when I was talking, and suddenly I heard a voice in my hair.

Su Dongbo described his sister's concave eye way:

I finally wiped my tears several times, leaving two springs.

Su Xiaomei tease elder brother's face, eyes distance way:

Tian Ping Road is 3,000 wide, and it is very happy from afar;

Last year, a tear of acacia never reached my cheek.

Su Shi patted his sister's head happily and laughed.

2. The story of Su Xiaomei

Su Dongpo went out to play with a group of monks, and Su Xiaomei followed. Suddenly, he saw a monk swimming in the river, ups and downs, his bald head rolling like a bare ball in the blue waves. Su Xiaomei is rare and strange, and he seems very interested. The voice said:

"The Qingjiang River washes the monks and waves the gourd."

With the host monk behind her is also a joke, immediately advised:

"There are beautiful women sitting in the Bisha tent and peony sitting in the smoke cage."

Not to be outdone, Su Xiaomei is another couplet:

"A monk sleeping in a brocade quilt is a gourd among thousands of flowers."

The host will be here soon:

"Female to copper, half an acre of pond and two cymbals". "

Su Xiaomei looked up and saw a monk punting in Jiangxin. On one occasion, he said:

"Monks punted against Luohan in the middle of the river."

There are some difficulties in writing this couplet. It starts with "shadow" and must be answered with "shadow". The host could not help but scrutinize carefully and finally said:

"The beauty draws water, and the rope leads to Guanyin at the bottom of the well."

Su Xiaomei challenged again:

"Five hundred arhats cross the river, and there are thousands of bergamots in the heart of the river."

This time, Su Xiaomei met his opponent, and the host monk quickly said:

"Beauty looks at the moon, and there are two cicadas in the sky."

Among Su Dongpo's many monk friends, Fo Yin is the closest one, and his quarrel with Su Xiaomei will be forgotten. One day, Fo Yin jokingly said to Su Xiaomei, "I have a pair of couplets and dare to ask the patroness to answer them." Couplets are:

"A woman sleeps alone and has three furry eyes."

Su Xiaomei is a woman, and Fo Yin knows that she is never competitive, and the couplet with others never gives up. This time, she chose such a pair of couplets full of yellow emotional appeal, forcing Su Xiaomei to be unable to speak. Unexpectedly, Su Xiaomei has never been naughty and bold. He and his brother have been facing similar couplets for a long time and have no feeling at all. Although she blushed at first, she dared to say that you were a monk, but I was afraid to say anything, so she said:

"Two hate the same bed, and four bald heads are upside down."

Fo Yin shook his head again and again, admitting defeat, and even praised Su Xiaomei for his clever strategy and quick thinking. Once Su Dongpo and monk Fo Yin meditated in the forest, and the bamboo shadow moved day by day, and it was silent for a long time. Fo Yin said to Su Dongpo:

"Look at you sitting like a Buddha."

Su Dongpo was very happy. When he saw Fo Yin's brown cassock fall to the ground, he said to Fo Yin:

"Master sits like a pile of cow dung."

Monk Fo Yin just smiled. Su Dongpo thought that monk Fo Yin had suffered a YaBaKui this time, and he was secretly pleased. He couldn't help telling Su Xiaomei quietly. Unexpectedly, Su Xiaomei said, "Brother, you lost again. Imagine that Fo Yin looks at you with the heart of Buddha, and what kind of mood do you look at Fo Yin? "

One winter, after it snowed in Chu, Su Shi wore a robe and sat in the sun. The wind blows, the fur blows, and Su Xiaomei walks. When he saw this scene, he immediately said:

"The wind messed up the fur."

After that, I looked at Su Shi with a sly smile and a smug look. She stood in the corner of the wall, and there was some ice and snow just now. At this time, under the sunshine, the melted snow water flowed straight down the wall. Without thinking, Su Shi said smoothly:

"The sun shines on the wall and the water is DC."

Although Su Xiaomei is still young, he is in the early stage of understanding. He blushed at once, gave his brother a hard look and ran away quickly.

On another occasion, Su Xiaomei squatted by the well to cut fish. Su Dongpo came back from the outside and rode by. When he saw it, he immediately said:

"Sister, cut the fish, kneel down and cut it in half!"

Su Xiaomei hesitated, but finally he couldn't help it. He raised his head slightly, half ashamed and half angry and said to his brother:

"My brother was riding a horse, and when he passed it, he added another whip."

The autumn wind and rain are smooth, and the lover is a family. According to legend, one of Su Xiaomei's three difficult bridegrooms had a couplet, which almost made Qin Shaoyou, the new champion, collapse. It is said that the window of the wedding night slowly opened a crack, revealing Su Xiaomei's delicate hand and handing out a piece of paper. Servant immediately took it and handed it to Qin Shaoyou. I saw it read:

"Open the window by hand, the moon stars are rare, and it will definitely not rain tonight."

Su Shi expected that Su Xiaomei would definitely have a conflict with Qin Shaoyou. When he walked past, he saw Qin Shaoyou's hand gesturing constantly, reading: The hand pushed open the window of the moon ... Looking at it, he secretly smiled, picked up a stone and threw it into the lotus pond, reaching out a finger and drawing the word "rain". Qin Shaoyou got the message and immediately replied:

"A stone breaks through the water, the sky is crisp, and the Ming Dynasty will be frosty."

On the surface, it will definitely not rain tonight, but in fact it implies the meaning of "sex". The homonym of "rain" and "language" means that I won't talk to you tonight. Qin Shaoyou replied that "there must be first frost in the Ming Dynasty", and "first frost" is homophonic with "double".

There is also a legendary couplet in the world: "Close the door to push the window and the moon, throw a stone and boil the water."

Smart and alert, I don't want my little sister, who is a man, to decide to compete with less travel as soon as she enters the bridal chamber. On the one hand, you can learn from your sweetheart, and on the other hand, you want to see your lover's embarrassment. So as soon as Miss Sister entered the bridal chamber, she sang couplets. Please swim less;

"East wing, west wing, new people in old houses enter the bridal chamber and become the best man for life."

Qin Shaoyou was deeply moved by little sister's infatuation with herself, and could not help but blurt out:

"Go to school in the south, go to school in the north, try to teach imperial academy in primary school, and then marry a bride."

My little sister heard this couplet written by Shao You, and knew that there was no lover to be stumped. She personally asked Shao You to sit at the table, and Yan Hong closed the door and quietly left. Shao You raised his glass and tried to pass it to his sister, who gently opened her lips and said, "Qin Lang needs to hook me up if she wants to hand it over. Do you want it? "

Shaoyou knows your little sister's temperament, and she has this intention, so she is right. Then he stood up and bowed his head and said, "Please go out with your sister."

"After three rounds of wine, raise a glass and drink a cup, and the cups and plates are empty."

This makes it difficult to swim less. This couplet is intended to talk about wine, but it is actually a metaphor for love. It is wonderful to care about meeting each other. If this is linked, it is not only necessary, but also in line with this situation. It is wrong to swim less and meditate for a long time. My little sister saw that he was silent and didn't bother him. She just tapped her finger on the table. Less, looking at the table full of food, suddenly enlighted, immediately said to himself:

"The food is five flavors, beautiful in shape, beautiful in color and beautiful in heart."

Traveling less is a metaphor for people, and praise is not revealing. I am ashamed. My little sister stretched out her arm, covered her face with her sleeves and drank this refreshing toast.

When Hong Yan canceled the party, it was already the middle of the month. Little sister, look at each other, in heaven. My little sister said shyly, "Before the red curtain, hold Lang's hand. If you want to sleep together, you should reunite. "

Shaoyou knows that there are only three things, not to mention that he has already made couplets, and a sense of heroism arises spontaneously: "Thank you, little sister."

"Little sister is small, small hands, small feet and small mouth, small but not stingy, you should be careful."

Miss Jie spat out eight "small" words in one breath, praised herself warily, showed little pride, and frowned when she swam less. He paced back and forth, unable to sing, and could not help secretly worrying. My little sister felt remorse when she saw the beating of gongs and drums in the middle of the night and the moon moved to the west wing. She just kept looking at Shao You with warm eyes. See little sister can't help but stole a look at yourself, look affectionate, blushing, can't help but move, freely promised:

"It's rare to travel less and be young, have fewer families, have fewer houses and fewer wives, and are willing to marry a girl."

Miss Jie savored this couplet carefully and felt that Shaoyou had made it clear that she was determined to marry herself. She also said that it was rare in the world and she was not caught in a man's ambition, so she was happy, so she put out the candle, relaxed her hukou and made an eternal marriage.