A selection of simple jokes

Even if the whole world betrays you, I will stand by and betray the whole world. The world of love gives you the strength to try the forbidden fruit on earth. Next, I have carefully prepared "Selected Simple Jokes" for you. Welcome to watch!

Selected Simple Jokes (Hot Articles) 1. Someone asked me that Iron Man and Spider-Man are both superheroes. What's the difference between them?

2. A: Iron Man can have as much money as he wants, and Spider-Man can have as much money as he wants.

Both the mobile phone and the charger love each other deeply and have never been apart. Only this time the host was on a business trip, he only brought his mobile phone and forgot the charger. When he came back, the phone burst into tears as soon as he saw the charger. I'm sorry, honey, when I left you, when I had no electricity? I was charged by another charger? That? "

4. I quarreled with my girlfriend in the cold war. At noon, the girl QQ shook me and sent one? I was puzzled and embarrassed to ask her what it meant, so I copied and pasted it and asked my friend what it was. A cousin's simple and powerful answer, this thing in Excel means automatic summation.

5. How can two thousand dollars get a girl? Scheme 1. 1500 yuan buys a mobile phone for her sister, stays in 500 yuan for dinner and a room, and rides a battery car to find her sister. My sister said: you are a good person, but we are really not suitable. Scheme 2.700 yuan to rent a BMW5, 300 yuan bought 99 roses in the wholesale market, 100 yuan told my sister that she liked to go to romantic snack bars hand in hand, so my sister slept with him that night, and it was because of love. . . . Scheme 2 tells us that the charm of business model is everywhere.

Dad wants to dye his hair black because he has too much white hair. I immediately objected. I said that dyeing hair is very harmful to his hair, and there are many harmful substances in it, which is also very bad for his health. It's normal for him to have white hair when he is old, that's all. Under my strong opposition, my father finally gave up, and now I feel very gratified. Who told me that I wanted to dye my blonde hair in junior high school? He strongly disagreed. Hehe, electrocution has been reported.

7. On the subway, I saw a girl wearing sexy and beautiful clothes, which made me think. So, after a fierce ideological struggle, I finally got up the courage and remembered it boldly.

8. "Hello, I'm an off-road vehicle. What kind of car are you? " "I am a truck." "Speak well! Sell your sister's cuteness! 」

9. He approached the boy step by step with a cigarette in his mouth: "You have been following me for months. The boy panicked: "I am not a bad person! He dusted his cigarette ash: "But I am a bad person." The boy's heart is pounding: "Don't come? Do I have a gun? He stamped out the cigarette end and pushed the boy to the corner: "Come on, I'll leave without shooting. The boy closed his eyes, gritted his teeth, took his hand out of his pocket and poked his finger at his heart: "biubiubiu"

10. At the door of the obstetrics and gynecology operating room, the wife nervously took her husband's hand? Honey, do you like boys or girls? Husband calmly said:? I like both of them. If it's a girl, I'll pay for your online shopping. If it is a boy, then we will pay for your online shopping together! ?

Selected Simple Jokes (Classic) 1. Men find shaving troublesome. Women find makeup troublesome. It's amazing that a fake mother can accomplish these two things every day.

2.？ In order to get my husband to agree to buy a bag, my mouth is worn out. ? It has been a long time. No?

3. A puppy saw a wolf, rushed up and hugged it, desperately calling for his father. The wolf is at a loss. Sorry, son, I'm not your father. "Puppy:? You are! They all call me a German shepherd! " Wolf:? Is it? I used to really? Fuck the dog? "

4. Prison This is a collection of twelve constellations Guo Meimei-Aries, Lee-Taurus,-Gemini, Cancer, Zhang Mo-Lion, Swiss-Libra,-Scorpio,-Sagittarius, Yin-Aquarius and Cairn-Pisces. I feel that this is actually a constellation escape. Virgo Wang Xuebing has just been captured, leaving only one Capricorn. This is to make up the twelve constellations in the park!

My daughter-in-law farted in front of me, and I almost fainted. Ask the daughter-in-law: What are you eating? Can you fart like this? The daughter-in-law said:? What? Do you still want the formula? . .

6. Although the content that the previous generation liked to forward was mostly health preservation, the values were hidden in those widely spread topics. Basic inclusion? Don't suffer? And then what? Take advantage? Two kinds (actually it seems to be one kind). Try examples: seven sentences worth ten million, cheats that you will lose a lot if you don't keep in good health, cheats that you can cure diseases without spending money, and quick grab of Didi coupons?

7. tender model a, after receiving any package, will take photos and send ins to thank her boyfriend, a typical Barbie; Tender model B has a delicate mind, and every time she receives a gift, she casually shows it in the form of street shooting. Various solo flights create an independent, independent and beautiful atmosphere. As a result, A's boyfriend is not as good as one, and B's conditions are better than before. Finally, he got married seriously and jumped out of the vicious competitive environment of sleeping all night.

8. Beijing stars, Li and Yin take drugs, while Shanghai stars cheat. The capital, the magic capital, is poisonous in the south and yellow in the north.

9. Today is Women's Day. The wife said that women don't have to do anything on this day, and what they usually have to do is what their husbands do. I think it makes sense, so I spent an hour on makeup, spent three hours online shopping, and then stayed in bed and watched Korean dramas all afternoon.

10. The new boss is from Fujian, young, promising and handsome. Today, he called me to my office and said to me: Xiao Li, I want a cactus, which is yellow. ? I was confused at that time. What the hell is yellow paste color? Is it shit color? Cactus is not like this! We argued for a long time, and finally he couldn't help but open the curtains and put on sunglasses, pointing to the sun and saying word for word: fairy! People! Palm! Ah! Yellow! Paste! Color! Yes! ?

Selected Simple Jokes (Selected Articles) 1. Jupiter Ascends: The little girl who brushes the toilet continues to brush the toilet after she has gone through all kinds of hardships to own the earth. This film reveals a profound truth that diaosi is diaosi even if it wins the lottery.

If the pocket money given by your husband is around 1000 yuan per month, you can call yourself this palace! About 6 thousand is a noble person! Around 4 thousand, all the time! About two thousand is a promise! 1 thousand or even more than 500 are maids! I can only feel sorry for my family if I earn money and spend it myself! Now you know where you are! Ladies, please sit down! It's nothing. What else have you had with him? Get out of the palace! Economic independence is Wu Zetian, who can call herself me.

I have a straight boyfriend who didn't intend to open an island film in front of his girlfriend. Her girlfriend didn't say anything at that time, but firmly remembered the location of the file, and then secretly deleted all the films. As a result, they had a long cold war. I have a gay friends who took a USB flash drive to my computer and copied dozens of G films, and gave them to my boyfriend as a birthday present. As a result, her boyfriend was moved to tears. When these two true stories are put together, it clearly shows how to fall in love with different sexes.

4. It is not a crime for a man to cry, but a sissy.

5.？ Feng shui? What exactly does this metaphysical concept mean? According to its characteristics: invisible, colorless and tasteless; Affected by the placement of furniture; Good or bad directly affects the quality of life. We can easily conclude that Feng Shui =WiFi signal.

6. Bus driver B, owner A of finidi, was delivered from Pudong to Puxi at 3: 30 in the morning. He said: I am still driving for three reasons: 1, I like driving, 2, I can make money, and 3, I don't want to see my wife. ? MyDF

7. Every time I meet a beautiful girl, I fantasize that we once knew each other and loved each other deeply, and then we were infected by a germ that lost our memory and looked across the river. Many years later, the mountains and rivers meet again, and deep down, I still think that the other party is my 100% lover. ? The psychosexuality of Haruki Murakami

8. Wukong yelled at the old gentleman:? Old man, do you think you can tie me with this fairy rope? ? Huh? Why can't you untie it? Too old gentleman ha ha a smile: I use the headphone cable. ?

9. What do I want to post often? Do you still eat instant noodles after reading this? Do you still eat mala Tang after reading this? Someone dragged the pig outside the pigsty to watch it roll in the shit, and then asked him: Do you still eat pork after reading this?