British oolong tea

This episode is full of jokes caused by the misuse of English. I call it an English oolong joke. Most of these jokes are personal experiences of me or my friends in America. Don't laugh! Maybe these oolong things will happen to you one day.

Originally, I had an idea to organize the jokes caused by misuse of English into chapters, but recently I visited someone else's website and was surprised to find that someone had arrived first! I am glad that someone saved a huge project for me, and I recommend her website to everyone here. I hope everyone can go and have a look. The home of real English oolong jokes.

1. A cup of two spoonfuls of chocolate.

There are two balls of chocolate ice cream in the cup.

I thought my English should be ok after staying in America for a while, but I didn't expect to make a big joke when I ordered an ice cream last time. Here's the story. I wanted to order two balls of ice cream, so I said, "I want two balls." I saw the clerk smiled shyly. Later, I learned that balls only refers to two balls for boys in general American spoken language. No wonder people look at me with that strange expression. In order to avoid similar tragedies from happening again, I will share some ice cream skills with you. First, I will talk about a few balls, and then I will talk about the taste, just like "two spoonfuls in one cup, chocolate." .

A spoon is a spoon for digging ice cream! Two-ball ice cream was originally made of two scoops. Using two balls will make people laugh! In addition, ice cream can be put in cups or cones (usually extra money). There are two kinds of cones, one is called sugar cone, which is the kind of cone that the boss will give you when you buy double ice cream, and the other is called waffle cone, which is probably like the kind of cone with a layer of waffles, so it is named waffle cone.

2. Do you want a bird?

Do you want to borrow badminton?

I think Xiao Benlin's reputation will be ruined by the word ball. I once went to the gym to borrow a badminton racket. When I was leaving, the man asked me again, "Do you want a bird?" I don't remember the last humiliating lesson. I thought he asked me if I wanted a net or something, and I said, "No, I just want a ball." The man almost fell down with laughter.

Next time, you should remember that badminton is not actually a ball, but it has a special name called bird. I think that person still doesn't understand why I call badminton a ball!

3. A: How do you like your steak? B: Small.

A: How would you like your steak? Give me a small one.

Once I went out to eat steak with my classmates. He just came to America and his English was not very good. The waiter asked me, "How do you like your steak?" I said, "medium." As a result, my classmate didn't understand what he was asking, but he did understand my "zhong" and quickly replied "Xiao." I saw the waiter standing there and didn't know what to do.

Do you know what the problem is? People ask me how you want your steak, not how big it is. I replied that rare means rare, not rare steak. My classmate's answer to a small question is really neither fish nor fowl.

4. ketchup?

Tomato sauce?

The story is not over yet! After the dish was served, the waiter asked again, "ketchup?" As a result, my friend heard "cash withdrawal?" I saw him pay the money and said, "Who will pay the bill just after eating?" But I'm no better myself. When I first came to America, I thought tomato sauce was called tomoto sauce. But ketchup does exist, but it is not ketchup, but another kind of sauce. Usually ketchup goes with pasta, or a lot of ketchup is added when making pizza.

5. Your zipper is not zipped.

Your zipper is not zipped.

This sentence is very important. You must learn it. Because my classmate once zipped his pants, the United States told him, "Your zipper is not zipped." As a result, he was still there. "What?" It has been a long time. I heard that I didn't understand it at last, and finally I went home to look it up in the dictionary to know that fly originally meant zipper.

As a result, my precious classmate became ill again after a long interval. One day, he suddenly asked me, "Did you eat well that day?" I said, "We didn't say anything about eating!" Hey, guess what he said? He said. "yes. You didn't go to eat cubs with me that day, did you? " oh Is it funny? Brother, I beg you, Cub Food is a supermarket in America, okay?

6. Are you a transsexual?

You are a transsexual.

Not long ago, I went dancing with a group of old Americans, and I ended up dancing. I saw two girls dancing there by themselves, because I knew one of them very well, so I joked, "I didn't know you were a lesbian!" As a result, she also smiled and said to me, "No, she is my date, but I also have a boyfriend!" " At this time, in order to show my English ability, I should not be underestimated, so I said, "Oh! So you are a transsexual! "As soon as this statement came out, she changed her face and hit me and said," Hey! I am bisexual, not transsexual. "It turns out that Xiao Benlin confused the two words bisexual (bisexual) and transgender (transsexual) and made such a big joke.

7. I don't like old people.

I don't like to guess other people's ages.

I once chatted with an American girl who was about fifteen or sixteen years old. I asked her, "Do you know how old I am?" She answered me, "I don't like elderly people." I was shocked at that time, because I thought I was not young. I thought she said she didn't like older people. But then I guessed from the context that she meant that I don't like to guess other people's aging. So my conclusion is that when the word age is used as a verb, it also means guessing the age of others.

The squirrels in our country are very shy.

Squirrels are shy in our country.

When you come to America, you can meet international students from various countries. Although your English is not very good, sometimes their English is even worse. For example, a French roommate recently moved into our dormitory. He once told me, "Squirrels in our country are too shy." As a result, I listened to his squirrel as a girl. I also want to say how can a French chick be shy? As a result, the two of them talked with the duck for a long time. But the French accents of girls and squirrels really sound alike. He once said to me, "If you want to go shopping, just call me." Oh! All I know is that he can't tell me! Isn't it interesting?

I also learned a French sentence from him, "auntie", which means hello in French! Because every time someone calls, he will say "aunt", which sounds like his aunt calling him.

9. Do you know where I can find rice noodles?

Do you know where I can find rice noodles?

Once my classmate said that he wanted to eat glutinous rice, so we went to the supermarket in China City to buy it. We searched for a long time and found nothing. Just when I was about to despair, my classmate said, "I saw the brand of glutinous rice." When I went, there was still nothing. I said, "There are only rice noodles in this area, but no glutinous rice!" As a result, he confidently told me: "It's written on the sign!" Look at "rice stick, rice is not rice, stick means sticky, so rice stick is glutinous rice, isn't it glutinous rice?" I almost lost to him. The stick here means a root, so the rice stick actually means rice noodles!

Some American China foods have strange translations. Once I went to eat Chinese food with my Turkish roommate, and he pointed to the "three-year-old egg" on the menu and asked me what it was. Oh, my God, who turned preserved eggs into Millennium eggs? It's challenging enough for me just to convince him to eat that seemingly black egg, let alone explain why preserved eggs don't really lay eggs for a thousand years. It's really a headache

10. Do you have a car?

Did you buy a car?

This also happened in a conversation between my classmate and America. America asked my classmate, "Do you have a car?" My classmate, "Yes, I have many cards." (Chicken talking to duck), Americans are very surprised. The economic miracle of Taiwan Province Province is really impressive. He asked, "What kind of cars do you have?" My classmate said, "I have MasterCard, Visa card and international recharge card." Oh, my God. I was ashamed of him! Do you want to know who this man is Please go to Ben Lin's house to find someone who lives in Atlanta!

I opened several discussion areas on the site, namely, the discussion area of life terms and the discussion area of studying abroad. Welcome to irrigate more if you have nothing to do. I will try my best to answer your question.