Funny English jokes about Chinese New Year?

Cold jokes are an emerging language phenomenon, and they are also a new language phenomenon that appears around us and cannot be ignored.

The following is what I compiled, welcome to read!

Article 1

The pany's mission to eat Nian Fan

This year in the pany for the New Year together, eating regiment Nian Fan, the manager drunk, going to the toilet and vomiting, to coincide with a male staff member is urinate, the manager angrily, of how a good drink still pouring? Male Wensheng emergency stop, but he unexpectedly Biechu ass, the manager was opened the bottle?

Translation: Having a family reunion dinner at the company

This year we celebrated the Spring Festival in the company. When we were having a family reunion dinner together, the manager was drunk and vomited in the toilet. When a male employee was urinating, the manager said angrily: Why did he still pour the wine after he had agreed not to drink? Hearing the sound, the man stopped suddenly, but unexpectedly he farted. The manager was furious: Damn it! Who opened another bottle?

Chapter 2

One evening, in the midst of dinner preparation, our 10-year-old daughter asked, "Mommy, what's puberty?" My wife was rushed at the moment, so she suggested that Peggy look up the word in the dictionary, after which they could talk about it.

A few minutes later, Peggy returned. Her mother asked what the dictionary had said. "Puberty means," announced Peggy, "the earliest age at which a girl is able to bear children."

"What do you think of that?" my wife asked.

"I'm not sure," Peggy relied. "I've always been able to bear children. It's *** s I can't bear.".

Chapter 3

The teacher told the class the story of a man who swam a river three times before breakfast.

Johnny laughed.

"Do you doubt that a good swimmer could do that?" asked the teacher.

"No, sir," answered Johnny, "but I wonder why he did not swim it four times and get back to the side where his clothes were."

Chapter Four

The Umbrella

A gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall, but he had put on the handle a card on which was written: "This umbrella belongs to a gentleman who can lift up a hundred pounds. I shall be back in ten minutes. ”

When he came back, he found, instead of his umbrella, another card on which was written: “ This card belongs to a man who can run ten miles an hour. I shall not e back. ”

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? " , said Dick to his mother, ing home from school. " I saved on fares. I didn't go to school by bus, I ran all the way after it. "

" Well, " said his mother laughing, “Next time you should run after a taxi, you will save much more. ”

译文：

　　 Mom, you will definitely be satisfied with me today," Dick said to his mother after coming home from school. "I saved money on the car. I didn't take the bus when I went to school, but followed the bus all the way. "To school."

"Oh," Mom said with a smile, "Next time you run behind the taxi, you will save more."