Collect funny quotes from Fahrenheit

Haha. Some jokes

1. On Dadong's birthday, Wu Zun congratulated him and said: "I wish Dadong good health..." Hold on, there are no words.

2. In the dormitory, Dadong got out of bed and looked for slippers for a long time. He didn’t find any slippers. He asked everyone: Why are my slippers gone?

3. While shopping, Wu Zun suddenly exclaimed: "Wow! 'Virgin Bookstore'!" Yiru was shocked. He looked up and saw a plaque with four big characters - Foreign Languages ??Bookstore -__-!

4. Aaron went to buy mutton skewers and stretched out 4 fingers and said to the boss, "Here are 3 mutton skewers." The boss was confused, "How many?" Aaron stretched out 3 fingers and said, "4 skewers." "...

5. The general manager of Feilunhuan's company is named Zhou. Once he called and Wu Zun was driving. When he was nervous, he opened his mouth and said: "Premier Zhou..."

6. Aaron was queuing up in the school cafeteria when he heard someone say: "Master, have a bowl of 'bullet cauliflower' soup!" (seaweed and egg drop soup) Haha, Aaron burst out laughing.

7. One day, Aaron was eating very slowly at a rice noodle shop. He was very hungry and finally couldn’t hold back anymore and slapped the table and roared. He originally wanted to say that if he didn’t serve rice noodles, he would turn over the table! The result was: "Boss!!!! If you don't serve rice noodles, I will eat the table!!!!" The whole store was silent for 3 seconds and then burst into laughter under the table...

8. Dong and 1R quarreled , Dadong said angrily: "I'll get you out of here!"

9. When Aaron was playing basketball in high school, after A got the ball, he passed it to Aaron selflessly, and Aaron was relaxed Goal. After a while, Aaron got the ball, and A shouted to pass the ball to him. Aaron threw the ball himself. As a result, A shouted angrily: I was really blinded just now... The whole audience was stunned with laughter

10. In Dadong’s impression, the squad leader in elementary school was extremely serious. During a self-study class, the classroom was full of people. After maintaining order several times, the squad leader finally couldn't bear it anymore. He stood up and slammed the table and roared: Whoever makes noise again, cut him off!!!...The whole class was silent

11. Aaron has just entered college. , military training, the company commander didn’t know the accent, and shouted the command - "Drill to the left!" "Drill to the right!"

12. During lunch, Aaron gave Dadong a pot of carrots: "Go, cut the carrots into diced meat!"

13. Wu Zun once asked Aaron, how to write the festival verse? Aaron replied: Add a festival stanza under the prefix "草" and remove the prefix "草"!

14. When Dadong was looking for a job, the examiner asked him which year he graduated. Dadong originally wanted to say 2000, but he got excited and said: "Two thousand years ago..." What was even more shocking was that the examiner actually said "Oh" and said: "A student of Confucius."

< p>15. Just over 10 minutes into class, Aaron raised his hand and said: Teacher, I want to use the toilet. The English teacher said very unhappily: How old are you to still go to the toilet?

16. I remember one time when King Arthur went to buy a fruit called Elizabeth, I opened my mouth and said: Boss, how much does Shakespeare cost? The boss was stunned on the spot

18. Aaron’s sister came to her menstrual period for the first time. She was very embarrassed and asked Aaron to help her buy sanitary napkins. Aaron reluctantly came to a small store. The department said to the boss: A pack of sanitary napkins. The boss actually asked: Do you want fresh food or spicy food? Aaron was stunned for a moment and said, "Let's have three fresh dishes. I'm afraid she won't be able to bear the spicy food." . .

19. Yiru fell to the ground while dancing. Wu Zun asked in order to express his concern: "Your butt hurts from the fall!" but he accidentally said "Your butt hurts from the fall!" "Khan~~~1R stood up, patted his butt, farted, and said, "He's not dead, he's still breathing!"

20. One day, Aaron's cell phone ran out of airtime, so he asked Dadong." Dadong, do you have a toilet paper card? "

21. When Dadong was in high school, he went out to work in a restaurant during the holidays. He wanted to find a job as a waiter because he was still a child and it was his first time working. I was very nervous. I originally wanted to ask the manager if he needed any part-time workers, but he thought it would be more subtle to ask if he needed any manpower. The result was: "Manager, do you need any helpers here?"

22. Aaron Let Dadong go to the market to buy vegetables and prepare to cook. Dadong bought lettuce and it cost 2.4 yuan. He gave all the change he had to the hawker, and he was still short of a dime, so he said to the hawker - "My The hair is all given to you, so there is no more hair.

"The hawker was speechless for a long time, and then replied - "I don't want your hair anymore. ”

23. Aaron doesn’t like the smell of cigarettes. He usually says to smokers: Those who smoke will be strangled!!

24. Aaron and Dong Xiang When KFC started selling Liu Xiang, I always thought it was Liu Xiang who endorsed KFC because I didn’t see the advertisement. When I arrived at KFC, Aaron told the waiter that I wanted Liu Xiang to spread his wings.

25. In the end, Wang Dadong and others went to a small shop for dinner. There were many people in the shop at that time, and a fat waiter was very busy. Dadong shouted: "Waiter~~", and the girl Dian'er Dian'er ran over: "What kind of accounts do you guys settle? ”, everyone fell down. If I go to this restaurant to eat in the future, I will shout “waiter checkout” when ordering, and then shout “order!” when leaving after finishing the meal! ! "

26. When Dadong met Wu Zun in the bathroom, he suddenly didn't know what words to use to say hello, so he asked by mistake: "Have you eaten? After asking the question, he was very upset. When he was embarrassed, Wu Zunshi replied: "I have eaten. What about you?" "

27. When Wu Zun wanted to ask about the exchange rate between RMB and Japanese yen, he immediately asked Aaron how the apes and Japanese yen were exchanged. Fahrenheit and the others watched "Prison Break" and acted until one person said it There was a scene of killing someone with a blade, and Dadong suddenly said: "Wow, you can still talk even if you hide your mouth in the blade, I'm impressed. . . ”

28. After the economic man gave an impassioned speech to Feifei in the New Year, the last sentence reached a climax: Handsome guys, let us do a better job this year than next year! The whole audience fell. .

29. The advanced teacher of Yaronxue said this one day: "Take out the homework, let's check the answers, mark the correct answers, and then write the correct answers on them... …"

30. Wu Zun has recently fallen in love with poetry, and every day I see him betraying the saying, "The country is so beautiful that it attracts countless heroes to shoot the giant eagle." . . . . . "

31. Aaron had dinner with a group of friends. One of them was probably betrayed by his brother. He was so depressed that he drank a lot of beer. Then he stood up with a red face and shouted, "Brother! No!" I came out to sell it! I guess I wanted to say that my brother was not here to sell out.

32. Dadong went to the electronics department to buy anti-virus software. As soon as he entered the store, he asked: Boss, do you have any? Does Pakistan (Kaspersky) sell it? Suddenly, everyone burst into laughter! ~~~

33. Aaron had a classmate who had been reviewing for the computer science test. One day, another classmate was playing football. When he reached the bottom line, Aaron only heard him shout: Enter!