American daily joke

Two hunters from New Jersey are hunting in the forest. A man suddenly fell to the ground, rolled his eyes and stopped breathing. Seeing this situation, the companion picked up his mobile phone and called the emergency center. He shouted to the waiter in panic, "My friend is dead! What should I do? " The waiter said gently, "Don't be nervous, don't worry, I'll help you." But you have to convince us that he is really dead. "

There was silence ... and then there was a gunshot. The hunter picked up the phone again and said, "Well, what's next?"

The best joke in Britain:

A woman got on the bus with a child in her arms. The driver glanced at the child and suddenly said, "I have never seen such an ugly child in my life!" " "

The angry woman went to the last row, sat down and said to a man next to her, "This driver just insulted me!" " "The man replied," Go and get even with him at once, and I'll hold this ugly monkey for you! ……"

Canada's best joke:

The Canadian space agency began to send astronauts into space for the first time, but they soon got a report that astronauts could not write with ballpoint pens in weightlessness. So it took them 10 years,1200 million dollars, and scientists finally invented the ballpoint pen. This pen is suitable for weightlessness, handstand, water, any flat object, MINUS 300 degrees Celsius.

Russians have been using pencils in space.

Germany's best joke:

The general found a soldier's behavior strange: he always picked up a used piece of paper, looked at it, threw it aside and muttered, "No, that's not what I want!" " "The general ordered the psychiatrist to treat the soldiers. After examination, the psychologist wrote: This person has psychological barriers and is not suitable for being a soldier.

The soldier picked up the diagnosis book and said happily, "Yes, this is what I want!" " "

Australia's best joke:

A woman came to the hospital anxiously. "Doctor, show me quickly! When I woke up this morning, I looked in the mirror and was very scared. My hair is erect, my face is wrinkled, my face is pale and my eyes are red. I look like a dead man. What's wrong with me, doctor? "

The doctor examined the patient carefully, and then said, "Well, I can safely tell you that your eyesight is completely fine!" " "

America's best joke:

Two friends are playing on the local golf course. A man was about to hit the ball with his cue high when he suddenly found a long funeral procession on the road. He put down his cane and closed his eyes to pray. The surprised friend said, "This is the most touching scene I have had the honor to see in my life." You are really a good man! After praying, the man replied, "Yes, you know, I have been married to her for 35 years! " "

Three jokes about Scots and Irish people in English.

1. An Irishman called the travel company: "How long will it take me to fly to London?" The clerk wanted to see the plane timetable and said to him, "(please wait a minute), sir!" " ""thank you very much! " The Irishman answered with satisfaction and hung up the phone.

2. A Scotsman came home from England. The family asked, "How is London?" The Scotsman replied, "Yes! It's the British. It's weird. When I stayed in a hotel, they knocked on the wall next to me all night like crazy people. " "What were you doing then?" "I didn't do anything! I just played the flute all night! "

An Irishman came to London for a holiday and stayed in a fancy hotel. The waiter picked up the box and took him to his room. The Irishman said angrily, "Look out! Don't let me live in such a small room just because I am Irish! " The waiter quickly explained: "Sir, don't be angry! This is the elevator. " Be worthy of our faces!