Happy event about insurance jokes

Insurance knowledge joke 1. A joke about insurance

1, the little gecko got lost and happened to meet a big crocodile, so she hurried to call her mother. The crocodile burst into tears: my poor child, you have only worked in the insurance company for half a year, so thin! alas ...

2. The early risers are insurance companies and garbage collectors; It is insurance companies and nightclubs that sleep late; It is insurance companies and beggars who can't eat well; It is the insurance companies and criminals who are punished all day! Too bad!

The rich woman went to have fun. Mother asked her what she wanted. The rich woman said to be in good health, lovely, low income, strict discipline, hard-working, willing to contribute, functional and long-term. Mommy turned and called, and the comrades of the insurance company took the customers.

4. An insurance employee committed suicide because of the task, and his family suddenly woke up after three days of grief. The family was shocked and the employees cried: the insurance company was too rich to buy Yan off, and it was also noted in the life and death book that there was no way to die if the task was not completed.

5, several years of insurance, I will never forget it. Development tasks, nowhere to talk about, bleak. Even if you are on vacation, you should be busy, dusty and cold. Cell phone rings in the middle of the night, customers complain, get up busy, silence, only a thousand lines of tears.

6, donkey cart, whip; If you don't go forward, you will be whipped and lie on the ground! Seeing this, the scholar took the donkey's ear canal as an example: if you can't pull the cart well, the insurance company will be exhausted! The donkey got up and ran.

7. Part I: Crying for misleading, going crazy for signing a contract, suffering and tired for handling complaints.

Bottom line: for dissatisfaction, for complaints, for quality management.

Horizontal criticism: the complaints department is very unusual.

8. Auspicious Sambo Insurance Edition: Dad! Hey! Did you go home when the sun went down? No way! Where did you go when the stars came out? Overtime! Then why don't you pay overtime? Do your duty! If we keep our jobs, we are a lucky family! Mom! Hey! When can I stop working overtime? When I retire! Can I not add it after the holiday? Wait till I quit! She will grow up! * * * Entrepreneurial struggle is an auspicious home! Baby! Huh? Insurance is like sunshine shining on everyone! Where's everybody? Everyone is like cattle and horses sold to insurance companies! Where are the cows and horses? Cattle and horses live more smartly than us! Oh! Got it! Suffering is one of the insurance companies.

9. The insurance company caught a mouse, and the marketing department said: Give it a task and see if it still has time to run around! The training department said: let it be a lecturer, it's exhausting! The human resources department said: deduct its performance, let it have no food, and see if it still has the strength to run around! The finance department said: kill it, who let it break into the vault! The premium department said: let it be a toll collector for renewal, and watch her run fast. The business front desk said: let it sit in front of the counter, customers scold it, humiliate it and don't let it go to the toilet. . The mouse rolled its eyes and died.

2. The joke of the insurance company at the morning meeting

1. Insurance advertisement When I went out on the street on Sunday, someone put an insurance advertisement in my hand: "You can buy our company's life insurance, so that if your hand is accidentally broken, you can get 20,000 yuan in compensation; If your foot is broken, you will get 50 thousand yuan; If your neck is unfortunately broken, then your family is the richest person in this city. "

A man bought life insurance for his wife. After signing the contract, the man asked the salesman, "If my wife dies tonight, how much can I get?" The salesman replied, "About twenty years in prison." 3, foresight wife: "Why are you wearing my clothes, there is something wrong with your brain! What's it like to be seen by other passengers? Take it off quickly. "

Husband: "Shh, be quiet! I have no insurance. Don't you know that when a ship sinks, it always saves the female passengers first! " 4. life insurance father and son are walking back after visiting the night market. On the way, a robber pointed a gun at the young man: "put the money down!" " The old man jumped on the robber and told his son, "Run!" " "The robber said," you old man is dying. "

"Yes, you shoot, I have personal insurance!" 5. Be sure to bend the rules. At the insurance company, a customer stood panting at the counter and asked for fire insurance for his house. "Please be flexible and do it at once," said the man eagerly. "The house is already smoking."

6. Let the salesman of the insurance company convince a person: "You live happily today, but you may fall into the ditch tomorrow." The other party shook his head with great interest.

The clerk went on excitedly: "Look at Mrs. Wang next door! He invested 6.5438+10,000 yuan in accident insurance and broke his leg every few days. " I know, "the other party still shook his head," but that kind of good luck is not much! "7. Speed Zhang San:" I'm afraid I can't find a second insurance company to pay faster than our company.

If our client dies unexpectedly in the morning, his beneficiary will get all the insurance money in the afternoon. Li Si: "This is nothing! Our headquarters is located on the 45th floor of the skyscraper. One morning, an insured person committed suicide by jumping from a window on the 70th floor. When he fell into the window of our company, we gave him all the insurance money by the way. " 8. Advantages of Old Age An old man went to an insurance company to apply for life insurance.

"But, sir," said the clerk of the insurance company, "you don't want all our customers to be over 100, do you?" "Why not?" The old man replied, "If you look at this statistical table clearly, there are very few people who died at the age of 94." 9. insurance agent: now let's fill out this form ... how old was your father when he died? Insured: Who said my father was dead? He is as strong as a bull.

Insurance agent: So how old was your grandfather when he died? Insured: Who said my grandfather died? He is not only alive, but also a golf master. Insurance agent: Oh, when did your great-grandfather die? Applicant: Who said that my great-grandfather died? He is now 126 years old and has just remarried! Insurance Agent:/kloc-Why do men aged 0/26 still get married? Insured: Who said he "wants" to get married? He really has to do this.

10, the waste wife does not recognize the role of insurance, and thinks that it is a waste to pay the insurance premium. Mr. Wang quickly explained: "Insurance is for you and your children. In case I die, you also have a guarantee. "

The wife retorted, "What if you don't die?" 1 1. In the training class for newcomers, the lecturer asked the trainees: "There is a man who paid a sum of money to an insurance company to buy insurance for himself, and the beneficiary was his wife. Later, he had a traffic accident on a trip and died unfortunately. So who should he belong to? " A student stood up and replied, "Oh, I think it should be a dead man, teacher."

12, an insurance TV series, caused a sensation. The actors are all amateurs, and the roles are well grasped and natural.

The reporter asked curiously, "That shrew played really well. Who is she? " A: "Oh, she is a bus conductor." Q: "What about the underworld boss?" A: "I have been the police chief for many years."

Q: "What about hypocrites?" A: "I used to be a university professor, but now I am an official." Q: "The innocent princess played a touching role. Who is she? " A: "I found it from a nightclub."

Q: "Bandits? The performance is too natural. " A: "I used to be a city manager, but now I am in the tax bureau."

Q: "What about the old liar? This person has no traces of affectation. " A: "He is a successful lawyer."

Finally, the reporter asked, "What about the clerk? Work hard, be on call, work overtime without paying, and never complain. " Answer: "well, it is in place. I have done group training in insurance companies before. "

3. The joke of the insurance company at the morning meeting

1, insurance advertisement

When I was in the street on Sunday, someone put an insurance advertisement in my hand: "Go and buy our company's life insurance, so that if your hand is accidentally broken, you can get 20 thousand yuan compensation;" If your foot is broken, you will get 50 thousand yuan; If your neck is unfortunately broken, then your family is the richest person in this city. "

2. Results

A man bought life insurance for his wife. After signing the contract, the man asked the salesman, "If my wife dies tonight, how much can I get?" The salesman replied, "About twenty years in prison."

3. Foresight

Wife: "Why are you wearing my clothes? You are out of your mind! " ! What's it like to be seen by other passengers? Take it off quickly. "

Husband: "Shh, be quiet! I have no insurance. Don't you know that when a ship sinks, it always saves the female passengers first! "

4. Personal insurance

Father and son are walking back after visiting the night market. On the way, a robber pointed a gun at the young man: "put the money down!" " "

The old man jumped on the robber and told his son, "Run!" " "

The robber said, "You old man is dying."

"Yes, you shoot, I have personal insurance!"

5. Be sure to bend the rules

At the insurance company, a customer stood panting at the counter and asked for fire insurance for his house. "Please be flexible and do it at once," said the man eagerly. "The house is already smoking."

Step 6 promote

The salesman of the insurance company persuaded a person: "You live happily today, and you may fall into the ditch tomorrow."

The other party shook his head with great interest. The clerk went on excitedly: "Look at Mrs. Wang next door! He took out accident insurance of 654.38+10,000 yuan and broke his leg every few days.

"I know," the other person still shook his head, "but that kind of good luck is not much!"

7. Speed

Zhang San: "I'm afraid I can't find a second insurance company to pay as quickly as our company." If our client dies unexpectedly in the morning, his beneficiary will get all the insurance money in the afternoon.

Li Si: "This is nothing! Our headquarters is located on the 45th floor of the skyscraper. One morning, an insured person committed suicide by jumping from a window on the 70th floor. When he fell into the window of our company, we gave him all the insurance money by the way. "

8. Advantages of old age

An old man went to an insurance company to take out life insurance.

"But, sir," said the clerk of the insurance company, "you don't want all our customers to be over 100, do you?"

"Why not?" The old man replied, "If you look at this statistical table clearly, there are very few people who died at the age of 94."

9. Insurance application

Insurance agent: now let's fill out this form ... how old was your father when he died? "

Applicant: Who said my father was dead? He is as strong as a bull.

Insurance agent: So how old was your grandfather when he died?

Insured: Who said my grandfather died? He is not only alive, but also a golf master.

Insurance agent: Oh, when did your great-grandfather die?

Applicant: Who said that my great-grandfather died? He is now 126 years old and has just remarried!

Insurance Agent:/kloc-Why do men aged 0/26 still get married?

Insured: Who said he "wants" to get married? He really has to do this.

10, waste

My wife doesn't recognize the function of insurance and thinks that it is a waste to pay insurance premiums. Mr. Wang quickly explained: "Insurance is for you and your children. In case I die, you also have a guarantee. "

The wife retorted, "What if you don't die?"

1 1, who?

In the training class for newcomers, the lecturer asked the trainees: "There was a man who paid a sum of money to an insurance company to buy insurance for himself, and the beneficiary was his wife. Later, he had a traffic accident on a trip and died unfortunately. So who should he belong to? "

A student stood up and replied, "Oh, I think it should be a dead man, teacher." .

He is engaged in insurance.

The broadcast of a TV movie caused a sensation. Actors are amateurs, and their roles are well grasped and natural. The reporter asked curiously, "That shrew played really well. Who is she? "

A: "Oh, she is a bus conductor."

Q: "What about the underworld boss?"

A: "I have been the police chief for many years."

Q: "What about hypocrites?"

A: "I used to be a university professor, but now I am an official."

Q: "The innocent princess played a touching role. Who is she? "

A: "I found it from a nightclub."

Q: "Bandits? The performance is too natural. "

A: "I used to be a city manager, but now I am in the tax bureau."

Q: "What about the old liar? This person has no traces of affectation. "

A: "He is a successful lawyer."

Finally, the reporter asked, "What about the clerk? Work hard, be on call, work overtime without paying, and never complain. "

Answer: "well, it is in place. I have done group training in insurance companies before. "

Who can tell a joke about insurance? My little brother is here to thank the bird.

1. Father and son are walking back after visiting the night market. On the way, a robber pointed a gun at the young man and said, "Put the money down."

The old man jumped on the robber and told his son, "Run!" "

The robber said, "You old man are desperate."

"Yes, you shoot, I have personal insurance."

Mr. Hunt was sent to the American Recruit Training Center to promote military insurance. 100% of the recruits who listened to his speech voluntarily bought insurance, and no one has ever had such a high success rate. The training director wanted to know his sales skills, so he quietly came to the classroom and listened to what he said to the recruits.

"Boys, I want to explain to you the protection brought by military insurance," Hunter said. "If there is a war, if you are killed, * * * will compensate your family for $200,000. But if there is no insurance, * * * blood donation will only cost $6,000 ... "

"What's the use? No amount of money can change my life. " Here's a recruit who said gloomily.

"You are wrong," Hunter said unhurriedly. "Think about it, in the event of a war, what kind of soldiers will be sent to the battlefield first? Did you buy insurance? "

At the insurance company, a customer stood panting at the counter and asked for fire insurance for his house. "Please be flexible and do it at once," said the man eagerly. "The house is already smoking."

The salesman of the insurance company persuaded a person: "You live happily today, but maybe you will fall into the ditch tomorrow."

The other party shook his head with great interest. The clerk went on excitedly: "Look at Mrs. Wang next door! He took out accident insurance of 654.38+10,000 yuan and broke his leg every few days.

"I know," the other person still shook his head, "but that kind of good luck is not much!"

5. Zhang San: "I'm afraid I can't find a second insurance company to pay as quickly as our company." If our client dies unexpectedly in the morning, his beneficiary will get all the insurance money in the afternoon.

Li Si: "This is nothing! Our headquarters is located on the 45th floor of the skyscraper. One morning, an insured person committed suicide by jumping from a window on the 70th floor. When he fell into the window of our company, we gave him all the insurance money by the way. " 8. Advantages of old age.

An old man went to an insurance company to take out life insurance.

"But, sir," said the clerk of the insurance company, "you don't want all our customers to be over 100, do you?"

"Why not?" The old man replied, "If you look at this statistical table clearly, there are very few people who died at the age of 94."

6. insurance agent: now let's fill out this form ... how old was your father when he died? "

Applicant: Who said my father was dead? He is as strong as a bull.

Insurance agent: So how old was your grandfather when he died?

Insured: Who said my grandfather died? He is not only alive, but also a golf master.

Insurance agent: Oh, when did your great-grandfather die?

Applicant: Who said that my great-grandfather died? He is now 126 years old and has just remarried!

Insurance Agent:/kloc-Why do men aged 0/26 still get married?

Insured: Who said he "wants" to get married? He really has to do this.

7. The wife doesn't recognize the function of insurance, and thinks that paying insurance premium is a waste. Mr. Wang quickly explained: "Insurance is for you and your children. In case I die, you also have a guarantee. "

The wife retorted, "What if you don't die?"

8. In the training class for newcomers, the lecturer asked the trainees: "There was a man who paid a sum of money to an insurance company to buy insurance for himself, and the beneficiary was his wife. Later, he had a traffic accident on a trip and died unfortunately. So who should he belong to? "

A student stood up and replied, "Oh, I think it should be a dead man, teacher." .