What jokes make you unforgettable?

As a child, I have a deep memory. My father is a rigid professor and the president of a science and engineering university. He is very serious. Usually, I seldom tell jokes or smile to me. Of course, there is another reason: I was too naughty when I was a child. But because of this, he told a joke that I will remember all my life.

There are many noodle restaurants in Changsha, Hunan, and the waiters have the ability to lift a large tray in one hand. There were bowls of noodles in the tray, and as they walked out, they shouted "Davao, Voda!" in Changsha dialect. , let everyone get out of the way! "Davao" means: it's too hot! Please be careful not to knock over the noodles and burn people!

My father told me: 1962, several Shanghai teachers who were assigned to Hunan University from Tsinghua, because they didn't understand Changsha dialect, went to a noodle restaurant called "Lushan Pavilion" at the foot of Yuelu Mountain for the first time. Listen to "Davao" as "lying"! Then, a dramatic scene appeared. The man came over with a plate and shouted, "lie down, lie down!" " "Scared a few outsiders, people in those days, especially Beijingers, still have a strong concept of friend or foe! The first reaction was: China and the Soviet Union went to war, and there was an air raid, so we had to lie down. So, several people fell down together and climbed under the table.

As a result, the waiter who delivered the noodles was confused and added another Changsha dialect: "Li za's glasses are really delicious." What are you doing under the table? " You guys with glasses are so funny. What do you do under the table when you eat? As a result, several people still can't figure out what the waiter is saying.

There are many unforgettable jokes.

1. There is a beautiful female colleague in the company. One day, she got up late and hurried to the company without makeup, but was recorded as late that day.

A colleague said that her husband's business is very low. Once, a colleague said that I felt fat and wanted to lose weight. Her husband replied, you finally know yourself.

On a blind date, I went out to eat with a man, and the man gave me a chicken leg. I quickly said thank you, but I didn't expect him to take it and said you're welcome.

4. A colleague once asked my son, "Who are you, little friend?

"

The son replied, "Uncle, I am a snake egg."

Colleagues asked strangely, "Why?"

The son said, "Because mom is a snake."

A beautiful girl came to the company, and I accosted her and asked, "What's your name?"

My sister replied, "Your name is Pan."

I said happily, "We were a family 500 years ago. My last name is Simon. "

After that, my sister never spoke to me again.

I just had dinner with my colleagues in a restaurant. The boss's children have been clamoring for it, which makes me very embarrassed. The boss came and took the child away. We were just about to eat it. Suddenly the child rushed out and shouted, stop eating. My mother said it was poisonous.

7. Today, the teacher at my son's school said that your son was in puppy love.

Me: I know.

Teacher: Don't you object?

Me: I don't mind, so someone will take care of him. This boy is better than me.

Teacher: You agree that we should be together, don't you?

Mao's "Si Er's Dim Sum Box" made everyone laugh for several days:

1976, when I was an educated youth in the countryside, my life was hard and I had no entertainment. Young people like practical jokes. Monkey, a classmate who went to the countryside together, had the most ideas and left many funny stories.

Mao went back to the city to visit relatives, and his mother brought him a box of snacks and a rectangular cardboard box, which is gone now. In less than half an hour, the snacks were all eaten by everyone, leaving only an empty box in the corner.

The next day at work, the monkey picked up the empty snack box and kraft paper rope. Everyone knows that he is going to play tricks again, and I don't know who has teased him again.

During work and rest, the monkey put small clods in the snack box, occasionally grabbing a handful of grass around him and stuffing it to stabilize the clods. After weighing, I tied it with kraft paper rope, carried the box forward for a mile and put it on the side of the road.

After a while, a carriage came and ran in the direction of the snack box. The monkey stared at the carriage with wide eyes and a bad smile on his face, and everyone turned to look.

Before reaching the snack box, the driver jumped off the axle, trotted off, picked up the snack box and threw it into the car, then jumped on the axle, and the carriage galloped away with two whips.

The monkey is putting on airs and shouting "hey" and "hey". This shout, the carriage is faster.

People at work are laughing their heads off. I wonder how my daughter-in-law will fix this greedy handlebar when she opens the fast food box at home.

A snack box made everyone laugh for several days.

Stay tuned and give you more stories.

Thanks to the platform

A buddy went to a restaurant for dinner, ordered a bowl of noodles, and then called the waiter.

Say, "I suddenly don't want to eat noodles. Can I change the noodles to jiaozi? "

So the waiter changed the noodles to jiaozi.

The buddy was about to walk away after eating jiaozi when the waiter stopped him.

Attendant: "Sir, you haven't paid jiaozi."

Buddy: "I traded noodles for jiaozi!" "

Waiter: "Then you haven't paid for the noodles."

Dude: "I didn't eat noodles."

Then, and roared off, the waiter looked puzzled.

At that time, I thought what this buddy said was very reasonable, so I painted a tiger according to the cat.

I still remember the aunt who sold China steamed buns with a knife: "I don't care how you change it. If you eat mine, you have to pay. "

Sometimes the people who know you best are not your friends, but your enemies.

Some people are destined to wait for others, and some people are destined to be waited for.

Talent is actually using the same intelligence as others in different places.

The most contradictory place between lovers is dreaming about each other's future, but thinking about each other's past.

Sometimes flowers bloom, sometimes flowers fall, there is no need to miss them, and those who should go will eventually go; There is no need to be demanding, what should come will come sooner or later.

Don't always ask "why me?" Because you didn't ask this question when happiness came.

Love is like a pair of socks. The more uncomfortable a sock looks, the more likely it is to stay with you forever. The more beautiful the socks you like, the less you often have.

When something happens, like it and then enjoy it; Avoid if you don't like it. If you can't avoid it, change it. If you can't change it, just accept it. What you can't accept is your idea, don't blame the thing itself.

Jin Dian's jokes are even more Jin Dian only when they are discovered!

1. One of the funny jokes that I can't forget is a variety show. The scene is that Wang Yuelun buys vegetables in the vegetable market, and then negotiates the price with the stall owner. The food was originally 4 yuan a catty. Lovely Wang Dao looked serious and said in a consultative tone, it's cheaper, 4 yuan and 5 Jin; Seeing this place, I couldn't help laughing.