Full-time mothers who take care of their children at home are suffering from a new type of rejection, which is more terrifying than "widowed marriage"

My mother-in-law said, I have no obligation, I have to take care of it myself; my husband said, I want to support the family, so you take care of me; Our Lady said, my family cannot live without my mother, so my mother takes care of me; No, I won’t bring it. However, no one listens to the mother's opinion. Everyone thinks that the child is the mother's responsibility and should be taken care of by the mother.

Under the persuasion of people around her, my mother really took care of her children full-time, but she didn’t expect that her hard work would be disliked?

You are the one who makes the decision, you are the one who dislikes me and drags me down, what kind of man is this who goes back on his word?

Ah Li had a fight with her husband because the child was crying, and she, on the bathroom.

Men talk indiscriminately. If you don’t have a job, you can eat and use my things, and your children won’t be able to care about them. What’s the use? But he forgot that it was he who said that children cannot live without people, so Ah Li quit his job to take care of the family. Ahri's career was no worse than his. It was you who asked me to resign, it was you who thought I was a drag, it was you who went back on my word, why is this?

1. No love or affection for women

When love is strong, anything can be said. But as time passes, passion recedes, and love gradually disappears. Men are dissatisfied with women everywhere, despising their appearance, clothing, lack of jobs, and relying on themselves to support themselves, completely ignoring the woman's efforts and sacrifices in the family.

2. The financial pressure is great, and I want one more person to share the burden

Children are money-swallowing beasts, and there are so many places to spend money that men cannot afford to pay for them. But I couldn’t afford to let my mother work. I tried every possible means to dislike my mother and wanted her to go to work by herself and share the pressure.

3. Men are not responsible

Some men take the oath to support their families because of their vanity. When the woman complied, he did not have enough ability to practice it, so he could only go back on his word and overturn everything he said. Responsible? Doesn't exist.

Since you can't do it, why don't you say it? Men, it will be more harmful to go back on your word

Some men still have old ideas and think that no matter how much a woman pays, she should do it. What do you want her to do? Just do whatever. But he forgot that women are also independent-thinking people, and repeated deceptions can cause many harms.

1. The most direct harm: women are out of touch with society and find it difficult to re-enter the workplace

Lingling said: My salary is 3,500 and the nanny’s salary is 4,000, but I am willing to hire a nanny. Children, even if they work for her.

As long as I am working, my work experience and length of service will continue to accumulate without interruption. If I meet the right opportunity, I may be promoted. But if I raise my own child, these are all fantasy. Human laziness will make me never want to go to work again, and I will eventually become a canary without dignity.

Leaving the workplace means being out of touch with society and lagging behind in news. When you return to the workplace, it is difficult to find your favorite job and adapt to the fast pace of the workplace; many positions are unwilling to recruit people with young children due to prejudice. Women...

When a man’s upper lip touches his lower lip when he talks, women’s efforts and sacrifices come to naught. The relationship is hurt, the career is gone, how sad.

2. Destroy the relationship between husband and wife and affect the parent-child relationship

My mother did countless ideological work and finally accepted that she became a full-time mother, but my father said that you should go back, which made my mother give in. It became a joke. Most importantly, there is cynicism. The mother has no job, no free time, and no respect. Her heart is unbalanced, which naturally affects the relationship between the couple.

Children who are caught between a pair of discordant parents cannot grow up carefree, and out of distress for their mother or father, they will accuse each other from the same position, affecting the parent-child relationship.

Since you are unable to bear the pressure of raising a family on your own, you should not ask for compromise in the first place.

If you want to balance work and family, you must make good plans and division of labor, and think carefully

It is easy to overturn the decisions you have made, but if you want to have no negative impact at all , very difficult. If you want to balance work and family, you should think carefully from the beginning.

1. Consider the family’s financial resources and support and decide whether one person needs to resign.

Money is the root of all evil. Indeed, it is especially easy when the family’s financial pressure is high and men earn a lot. Complain and dislike.

Before deciding to work full-time, the mother should think carefully about whether the man’s salary is enough to support the family’s life and ensure that the quality of life is not affected: if it can, consider full-time; if not, discuss it again; Can you accept the rejection and gap of asking for money? If so, how long can it last?

Preset the consequences of possible problems before making a decision.

2. Discuss and decide who will take care of the family full-time

In ancient times, productivity was low, and men were the main labor force. They had to bear the hard work and were unable to take care of the children at home. But in modern society, women can work and earn just as much as men. Some mothers even earn more than their fathers. With the change of patriarchal thinking, the status of girls in the family has become higher. The father takes good care of his daughter, and the mother is jealous. It can be seen that it is feasible for men to take care of children.

When someone in a family must make sacrifices, the father and mother should discuss with each other and decide who will take care of the child, instead of the father directly appointing the mother to resign and take care of the family.

3. Make it clear what the responsibilities of family and work are respectively, and acknowledge each other’s contribution

Some families have acceptable financial conditions, and they also have the idea to take care of their children’s growth personally, with one person working full-time It has become inevitable. Then the husband and wife must have a good division of labor. Who takes care of the family and who is responsible for work? Those who work should understand the sacrifices made by those who take care of the family, and those who take care of the family should also know what the people who work have undertaken. Both parties should be grateful and acknowledge the efforts of the other.

It’s hard for a stay-at-home mother, and it’s not easy for a working father. They are starting a family and becoming a family. They should tolerate and support each other instead of complaining and dislike each other. Especially for dads, although the pressure of working to make money is great, the hard work of stay-at-home moms is no less than that of you. Don't feel that you are superior to others just because you make money. Just imagine, without your wife to stabilize the home front for you, how can you make money with peace of mind?

4. Participate in the growth of children, divide labor and cooperate without missing a position

There is a term on the Internet called "widowed marriage", which means that one spouse is indifferent to the family and does not take responsibility for the family. Family obligations, although not widowed, are more terrible than being widowed.

In many families, the mother is responsible for all the big and small things in life. The father only needs to give money and is not even willing to organize the children's drinking glasses. The difference between one person working at home and the other working outside the country completely isolated Dad from the outside of the family, and when he was even more unrestrained and single, how could his mother not complain?

Therefore, although the two have a division of labor, the father also has to shoulder the responsibility of taking care of the family. You can have a little less time, but you can’t miss it.

Home is the warmest place. Husband and wife should understand and consider each other, with less dislike and more love.