Any joke

I'm from Jianzhu University. Today, I went to buy a house. Suddenly found that students are planning, development, construction, supervision, decoration. I can't even think about it, your sister, lying! It's all a bunch of assault goods that read books before the exam ...

The fool stole the beggar's wallet and was seen by the blind. The deaf man was startled by a loud noise. The lame fly, the madman said, be reasonable!

Netizen: Copying homework is actually not called copying homework. Chinese is called learning, mathematics is called analogy, English is called copying, geography is called migration, biology is called copying, physics is called frame of reference, chemistry is called isomers, politics is called seeking common ground while reserving differences, and history is called cultural unity.

Hello, host, I am crowded on the 1 bus. I want to order a song for the girl by the window in front. It's Jacky Cheung's song. You know, yes, 1 There's you on the bus. I'd like to squeeze a little. "

Today, I asked a girl for her phone number, and then she said, "Let me give you my QQ." I said yes, I went back and added her QQ. Her QQ verification message is "What's my phone number"-can you not be so subtle! ! !

I'll chase it with Cupid's arrow, and you fly in bulletproof vests!

After so many years of college entrance examination, we shouldn't hold an anniversary celebration. 350 for 400 exams, 30% off for one point, and two experience coupons for three exams!

10 hidden rules 1 in universities, and the grades are directly proportional to the teacher's impression; 2. The student union election is just a formality; 3. Official positions are fixed; 4. only buy expensive textbooks, not the right ones; 5. The medicine prescribed by the school hospital is the cheapest; 6. The flowers of love mostly wither when they graduate; 7. liberal arts students are the main force of unemployment; 8. Diploma is a defective product bought by tuition; 9. Students will struggle with each other; 10, one or two weeks before the exam is more than or equal to one semester.

Anonymous pretends to be extraordinary and hangs a banner in the dormitory: "China girl today, successful woman tomorrow." As a result, a man hung the same banner in front of his dormitory ~ ~

Strong word 1. My heart is not a bus. If there is no room, just sit down. Don't fire me, because I have caller ID here. Life is like anxiety, without accurate lyrics, it is thrilling. 4. What are the bad guys, men who take off their pants during the day and women who don't take off their makeup at night? The difference between ambiguity and ambiguity is that the former engages in the latter. 6. The most useless thing in the world is the salary slip, which makes you angry and wipes your ass too carefully.

Men like big S, and a narcissistic woman disdains to say, "I am much better than big S!" " "Man:" You are no better than Big S, but you are indeed more than Big S. "What's more? "The man said slowly," You are better than the big S ... "

The most wronged crossing Chen Shimei is true, and it is to be honest and upright. After Hu Mengdie, a classmate, was rejected for an official position, he felt vindictive, so he put all the blame on him, such as promotion and wealth, ingratitude, deserting his wife and children, and made a drama performance. Finally, Chen Shimei of the Qing Dynasty was captured by Bao Gong of the Song Dynasty.

Which of the following two options do you think is more credible? 1, bin Laden is not dead; 2. The Bureau of Statistics announced the national per capita monthly expenditure of11yuan.

Pi: 3: 1. Tear a cover and pull two meats. ...

A: It's raining heavily outside. Just a flash of lightning hit the ground not far from me (while smoking on the balcony). Is God warning me because I am downloading some Japanese movies? Solve! ! ! B: He is reminding you to use thunder.

"Children carry schoolbags in the morning; Adults are busy going to SB (work); As for me, go online to see what new news is spreading (spreading) in SB; When ordering food at night, I said SB (whatever); When you are full, go to the street SB (for a walk); Come back with someone (mouse) in your hand; Go to Weibo to write SB (essay) "This is our life.

After dinner, my husband and I went downstairs for a walk. Suddenly, I want to eat fruit. They searched all their pockets and found 30 cents for 2 yuan. Then they went into the supermarket for a long time, compared the prices, picked two cucumbers and weighed them. 2 yuan, money is 30 cents! ! ! In ecstasy, I held the cucumber high and shouted, Oh, dear, I am awesome, just the right size, cool! All the men around me looked askance, and I was petrified at once. ...

If I fail the exam, I will; If I don't review, I will; You can't have your cake and eat it, so I'm leaving. Some people die and don't want others to live. Such as Newton, Faraday and ohm. The biggest difference between Guo and gua is whether it is O or A after hearing the result!