Daughter was scolded and cried because of ugliness, Hong Tao textbook parenting: how to teach children to face their own appearance problems

Once, when I was cooking in the kitchen, I suddenly heard Bao Tong crying and shouting, so I rushed out to see what was going on, but when I knew what was going on, I was distressed.

The scene at that time was like this:

Seeing me coming out of the kitchen, she quickly ran over and hugged my leg, crying and saying, "Dad said I was ugly, whoops ..."

After that, I didn't forget to turn around and yell at her father: "I'm not ugly!" " "

Her father was also shocked. I didn't expect her to react so much to a joke.

From then on, we knew it was time to guide children to have a correct understanding of appearance.

No matter what your child looks like, no matter how pleasing to the eye, he will feel cute when he sleeps, eats, plays and even stinks.

When Bao Tong was born, her small nose and eyes were still black and yellow (she was born with jaundice), so she was praised by her grandparents and other relatives.

Everyone has an introverted psychology, and always feels that their children are beautiful and lovely, and they are getting better and better.

When Bao Tong grew up, my grandparents' words became more and more straightforward: "When I was born, I was just like you. Now the longer I am, the more beautiful I am, the longer my eyelashes are and my eyes are bigger than yours ... In short, I am much stronger than you. "

Although my grandparents didn't say it explicitly, they also said that Bao Tong's eyes were bigger and more beautiful than when he was a child.

Please ignore my broken heart. Who did I piss off? Do I have to be scolded by her?

Objectively speaking, Bao Tong really looks much better than when he was born. Subjectively, I also think that she is the most beautiful child in the world.

I think most parents look at their children like this.

But in fact, we all know that most children look really ordinary in the eyes of others.

I know a person who grew up short and chubby, but his parents were tall and thin. At first glance, some people really doubt that he was adopted.

But in fact, he looks like his grandfather and even walks in the same way.

"Looks are not what you want."

The inheritance of DNA is amazing. Although there is a saying that "the dominant genes owned by one parent are easily reflected in children", such as big eyes, high nose, double eyelids and long eyelashes, not all of them are satisfactory in reality.

For example, my eyes are not like my parents', but the phenomenon of atavism has the small eyes of my grandparents, which are called elephants!

Then this gene may be too strong in my body. I went to Bao Tong to "neutralize" the genes of her father, grandfather, grandmother and aunt, including the double eyelids and big eyes of the previous generation.

She chose the middle of the eye size. Even a single double eyelid has two sides. Most of the time, they have single eyelids, but occasionally they are Shuang Yi's double eyelids.

There are also "positive returns and negative returns". Let's talk about two generations of stars: the daughters of Zhang Ting and Lin Ruiyang, and the daughters of Hong Tao and Xu Zheming. They are indeed worse than their parents.

Children's looks are random, beautiful and ordinary. Sooner or later, parents will encounter the problem of how to guide their children to treat their looks correctly.

She also asked Zhang Ting, "Mom, are my eyes really small?"

Faced with these doubts, Zhang Ting used to take photos of her childhood to prove that her daughter was very similar to herself, and often made up some words to defend her daughter, such as "I think she is more beautiful than me".

In fact, the little girl is really well protected and guided. In the video, she is very sunny and confident. Many netizens say that the more she looks, the more attractive she becomes. "

Hong Tao's daughter, like her, was laughed at from childhood to adulthood.

When Xu Xiaobao was five or six years old, she walked down the red carpet with her parents. At that time, many media said that she had temperament, fashion and cuteness, but at the same time, many people criticized her for her poor face value.

Hong Tao said in a program that when he was a child, Xu Xiaobao was called ugly by the children in his class, and he came home and cried sadly.

What would you do in this situation?

I met an old woman who told her children when she was dealing with similar problems: "The baby doesn't cry, the child is talking nonsense, and you are not ugly at all!" You are the most beautiful in grandma's eyes! "

I think this is what many parents say to comfort their children.

However, Hong Tao is not. She asked her daughter what she looked like first, and she said it was not ugly, but beautiful.

Hong Tao told her frankly: "You are not ugly, but you are not beautiful", and then went on to say: "But I can tell you one wonderful thing, that is, you are unique, and no one can copy you."

Xu Xiaobao was persuaded by her mother and became very happy.

Hong Tao's answer is a classic, which makes the children accept their true state gladly.

Well, Xu Xiaobao, 12, recently went on a hot search and participated in the filming of his father's film with his idol Karry. It is said that she did well!

Some parents may say, "My children are so beautiful!"

Indeed, some children are born with a good look, and parents should be proud of it. Who doesn't like to hear others praise their children?

And I admit, this is an innate advantage.

I think smart parents will use this to better cultivate their children and help them develop their potential, instead of praising their appearance all day.

Regardless of whether the parents' actions are a bit extreme, their views are correct. Appearance, an innate thing, can be praised, but for children, more efforts should be praised.

Everyone loves beauty, and so do children.

Many little people around have their own ideas about what color clothes to wear, what kind of hats to wear and what kind of clips to wear.

Most people can't accept that others say they are not beautiful or handsome.

This is normal. For children, their subjective consciousness is relatively strong. Even adults don't care about others pointing fingers at their looks?

At this point, we can refer to Hong Tao's handling method, not to draw a pie to deceive children, but to help children build inner self-confidence; Second, children must feel the love of their parents, which is more important than anything else.

Finally, I also want to say that parents must have a correct orientation.

After Bao Tong was born, her grandmother said many times: "Girls must be beautiful and happy when they grow up."

I smiled and said to her, "Mom, the world is different now. You can't eat enough just by your face."

Bao Tong's father also said, "Don't listen to her grandmother!"

Old people think so because of the background and environment of the times. As parents, you must not instill this idea in your children.

Are beautiful girls just waiting to sit back and relax without going to school?

Is it necessary for an ordinary-looking girl to keep her head down forever and feel inferior at the end?

? Bao Tong's mother's heart?

If your child looks ordinary, tell him frankly and praise him often to help him build up his self-confidence and establish a good and healthy self-evaluation system.

If your child is beautiful, you can tell him frankly, but don't praise him blindly, in case he gets into the habit of being complacent and encourages him to be more motivated.