A funny little joke.

1. What is a male god? It's the kind of man who thinks this life has nothing to do with you at first sight.

I made a girlfriend recently, but I didn't expect her family to disagree, especially her husband. What a cruel attack!

This kind of life is lovely and gentle, and nothing is lacking.

No matter how developed the internet is now, I still want to tell you in your ear that I like you.

5. Student: "Teacher, what you teach is useless." Teacher: "I forbid you to say that about yourself."

6. Others can go to Paris alone when they break up. I can only go to the beef noodle restaurant downstairs when I break up. I dare not add eggs to a bowl of beef noodles for six yuan.

7. Do whatever you want while the sun is shining and the breeze is not dry, while you are still young.

8. For me, the happiest time is when I am with you.

9. If you don't have the money or time to travel, buy a globe. The world is so big that you can not only have a look, but also look around.

10. On the subway, almost everyone bowed their heads and played with their mobile phones. Only a few foreigners are absorbed in reading a book, which seems a bit out of place. This move really touched me, as if it reminded me of something, so I stole their mobile phones.

1 1. I used to think that poverty and loneliness could not catch up with me as long as I tried to run forward. But who would have thought that the hairline couldn't catch up with me.

12. I eat when I see other girls eating, I buy when I see other girls buying, and I will ignore when I see other girls thin and beautiful.

13. If a girl walks in an ancient street and is dragged back by the emperor to sleep and wash her face at night, will she be convicted of bullying the monarch and so on?

14. The medical examiner in the hospital asked me: Have you ever done dangerous sports? I thought about it and answered: Yes, sometimes I talk back to my wife.

15. When you feel ugly, poor and useless, don't despair, because at least your judgment is right.

16. There is a buddy who is very serious. Once I ate noodles in the canteen and got an unknown black object, so I told the canteen master that I was scolded. So this buddy silently buys a bowl of noodles every day, eats it quickly, and then spits it out in public ... Three days later, the noodles in the canteen can't be sold at all, so on the fourth day, the canteen master knelt down and told him to stop.

17. Whenever my friends around me are unhappy, I will advise them to look further and let bygones be bygones. But they are always unwilling, urging me assiduously: pay back the money quickly!

18. The interviewer asked me to introduce my leadership experience. I thought about it and said, "I once led a team of 500 people." The interviewer's eyes lit up: "Oh? Then why not do it? " I took a deep breath and looked into the distance: "The number was stolen!"

19. Every time I cram for the Buddha's feet, the Buddha always kicks me!

20. I have been looking for spring for half my life. Just smile.

2 1. Endless work, lack of sleep, fat wallet, no mink. Earned 200 million in my half life: amnesia and memory.

22. "What can make a woman disfigure quickly?" "Take Mito Xiu Xiu out of her mobile phone."

23. In the next life, if the incense burned for one year can meet you, the incense burned for three years can know you, and the incense burned for ten years can cherish you. For the happiness of you and me in the next life, I am willing to throw away all the incense at home.

24. You are my star, and all tenderness is only for you.

25. God is fair, giving others happiness will also make them blind, for fear that they will feel uncomfortable.

26. No one is always smooth sailing. Actually, you're not alone. Look at the friends around you. They were confused by failure.

27. The tattoo artist asked me if I wanted to tattoo the black wolf or the golden wolf. I said, "Since you are hanging out, you must be ambitious and learn to bear it." Finally, he tattooed me a wolf.

28. For me, nothing that can be solved with money is a problem. How to have money is my biggest problem.

29. Not all women can be emperors. Wu Zetian did it. Not all black people can be presidents. Obama did it. Not everyone can praise me. Handsome people did it.

30. I have a strong mother. I remember when I was a child, my mother took me to ride a bike, and my foot got stuck in the wheel. My mother felt unable to pedal, so she stood up and pedal. ;