Who knows funny text messages? Urgent need, please help? The more the better! thank you

One day, a monk met a nun and wrote a couplet: the first part: I didn't hang up during the day; The second part: I hung up at night; Part II: I am very free! The first couplet of a nun: daytime hole. The second couplet: the hole is empty at night. Cross: The request (ball) is answered.

A student studying in the United States went home to visit relatives, boasting: American factories are advanced in technology, pigs are brought in, and sausages are introduced! His father was very angry when he saw that he worshiped foreign things and admired foreigners. He said, your mother and I are better. I pushed the sausage in and a live pig came out!

The twins are chatting in their mother's belly. The boss said: Dad is a nice person and often sticks his head out to see us. He just doesn't like hygiene, so he throws up and leaves. The second said, it's better to be an uncle next door. After vomiting, he put the sputum in a bag.

The man can't go home for a long time, and his wife is very uncomfortable. One day, before he asked his wife to take down the mirror, she happily did so. He separated his wife's legs, put his chin on her vagina and asked her, Do I look good with a beard?

The condom said to the sanitary napkin, "I'm really afraid of you." Every time you go to work, I have no business for a week. " The sanitary napkin was angry: "Don't pretend, if you are a little fucking negligent, my business will be ruined in ten months."

The host asked: Can cats climb trees? The eagle replied first: Yes! Compere: Give an example! The eagle burst into tears: That year, I fell asleep, the cat climbed the tree … and then there was the owl …?