Joke all day.

One day, A picked a mirror and looked at it. People here are too familiar.

B said; Is it? Let me see (holding a mirror), me! You don't even know me?

In order to prevent patients from escaping, the hospital set up a channel of 100, but there are still two mental patients who want to escape from the hospital. Work hard at night

Over the wall. Under the 30th wall,

"Are you tired?" ,

"Not tired." So the two continued to turn outwards.

Under the 60th wall,

"Are you tired?"

"Not tired." So the two continued to turn outwards.

Under the 99th wall,

"Are you tired?"

"tired"

"Well, let's go home."

One morning, an officer known for his strictness asked the early soldiers, "Are you cold?"

Xiao Bing replied: "Not cold!"

The officer was annoyed: "Then why are you shaking?"

Xiao Bing replied: "Frozen!"

A can of wine was buried underground 1000 years. What did he become? Alcohol.

Doctor ~ come and see me! I have amnesia!

When did you find out that you had this disease?

What disease? ...

What is that man doing?

He's shaking.

Why is he shaking?

He's cold.

A: Oh, shivering doesn't lead to cold drawing.

A: ...

The diver's movements are difficult. He turned three times, then somersaulted forward for three and a half times, and then somersaulted backward for a month.

A man wants to catch a boat. When he reached the shore, he found that the ship had left. The man jumped on the ferry more than 3 meters offshore at a sprint speed of 100 meters, panting and saying, God bless, I finally caught up! Then the sailor said, it's amazing, but why don't you wait for the ship to dock before coming up?

Is this blind man blind?

Customer: "Why doesn't the wine you sell smell of alcohol?"

The waiter smelled it and said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to mix your wine."

As soon as I became a brother, I liked driving after drinking. Once, when I came home, I met the police to check the car. Just as he secretly asked Luck to get off the bus for inspection, the police answered a phone call, holding a mobile phone, bossing around and chatting endlessly. As soon as he saw the opportunity, he quietly returned to the car and drove home in a hurry while the policeman who called was unprepared.

The next day, someone knocked at his door. It was the police yesterday. Now that he's sober, he naturally asks the policeman confidently, "What are you doing here? What can I do for you? "

The policeman said, "I helped you drive to the door." Now, why don't you give me back your police car? "

Soldier: "Thirst ... Thirst ..."

Cao Cao: "Hold on a little longer! I have been to this place before, and I remember there is a merlin nearby, which may arrive in a moment. "

Soldier: "Oh! There are plums to eat! Oh! "

Half an hour later-Coss: "Master! The expedition found a lot of water! "

Cao Cao: "Ha ha ha ha, did you hear that? Finally, there is water to drink. "

Soldier: "If you don't go ... you must find Plum ..."

Why did Xiaoming fall?

Please think twice ........................

Because the floor is slippery.

After a party, a group of animals rushed into 7- 1 1 convenience store to buy things. Because it was too noisy, the clerk knocked it out, but left the lamb alone in the store. Why?

Convenience stores are open 24 hours a day. ...

I hate two kinds of people the most:

First, there is racial discrimination;

The second is black;

Third, I can't count!

Do you know why penguins live in Antarctica?

Because it's cold there ... ..

A confessor came to the church,

He said to the priest, Father, I was wrong.

The priest said: As long as you admit your mistake, God will certainly forgive you.

The confessor said, I stole a man's bike, and now I want to give it to you.

The priest said, don't give it to me. Return it to the donor.

The confessor said, I asked him, but he didn't want it.

The priest said: then you can accept it! ]

The priest found the bike parked in the backyard missing after work!

The doctor treated an old woman with gorgeous clothes;

Doctor: How old are you this year?

Female: 18 years old.

Doctor: Hmm! ? ..... you should lose your memory.

A novice went to collect usury.

He took out the iou and smiled and said, It's written clearly in black and white. You owe me 1 10,000! Do you want to default? !

People say they really don't have that much money.

He threatened: Hum! Don't blame me for not reminding you! If you can't pay by tomorrow, your house will be just like it.

-He took out his lighter and burned the loan. ...

Xiaoqing is chatting with a psychiatrist.

Xiaoqing: How do you all diagnose patients?

Doctor: I always ask them some simple questions first. If they hesitate, I can probably know that they are crazy.

Xiaoqing is very interested: what kind of problem is it? Can you give me some examples?

Doctor: For example, Captain Cook traveled around the world three times, but unfortunately he died on one of them. When was it?

Xiaoqing hesitated, a little embarrassed to say that I am not familiar with history. Can you give me another example?

A Dai had to pass an interview to sign up for the navy.

Reporter: Young man, can you swim?

A Dai froze.

Dumb: What's the matter? Don't our army have enough ships?

Late at night, after the last shift, a bus was ready to deliver. The driver looked back and saw a lady in white sitting in the last row. The driver continued to drive and looked in the rearview mirror. The woman is gone, scared ~ ~ brake quickly. Looking back, she sat there again. The driver turned his head guiltily to continue driving and looked at the rearview mirror carefully. The woman disappeared again. She got a fright and suddenly braked. Looking back, the woman appeared again. Facing the collapse, the driver turned his head and continued driving in a cold sweat. The third time, the driver looked at the rearview mirror again. That woman disappeared again. The driver had collapsed and braked suddenly, but she didn't turn her head away. At this time, the woman slowly came to him, her hair was messy and her face was covered with blood. The driver was too stiff to turn to look at her. The woman said in a low voice, "I hold a grudge against you." No sooner had I squatted down to tie my shoelaces than you suddenly braked. "

One day, A was watching TV when he heard someone knocking at the door. He answered the door, but he didn't see anyone.

"Hello, can I have some water?" Only then did I find a snail at the door.

"no!" A kicked the snail away with an angry foot.

A few years later, A was watching TV alone at home when the knock on the door rang again.

A ran to open the door, and the snail said, "Why did you kick me just now?"

Xiao Ming returned to the classroom after going to the toilet and said to the teacher:

There are many ants in the toilet.

The teacher suddenly thought of the English word ant for ants, so he tested Xiaoming: What did the ants say?

Xiao a face of vacant ... Said:

Ant, he said nothing.

One day, a family caught fire.

Mom and dad both fled, leaving only one son inside.

Mother was very nervous and shouted outside:

"Son ... what are you doing ... it's on fire ..."

The son replied, "I'm wearing socks ..."

Mom said again, "What socks to wear in case of fire ..."

After five minutes, my son hasn't come out yet. ......

Mother shouted nervously again, "Son, what the hell are you doing?" Come out ~ fire, stay inside ... "

The son said, "I'm taking off my socks."

A man went fishing by the river.

First he wore a leaf ~ no fish took the bait for a long time, then he changed a piece of bread ~ no fish took the bait for a long time ~

He had no choice but to change earthworms ~ and there was still no fish for a long time ~ ~

In a rage, he took out 100 RMB and fell into the water to curse:

"*-%#% what to eat! Buy it yourself! ! ! !

Tang Priest: This time we need to find a shortcut to learn from the scriptures!

Wukong: Flying is faster than riding!

Bajie: Shenzhou VI is faster!

Friar Sand pulled out his gun and said, I heard this thing will be sent to the west at once.

Some psycho got a pistol from somewhere. He walked in a black alley. Suddenly I met a young man. Without saying anything, the psycho pressed him to the ground and pointed a gun at his head! Question: What is 1+ 1=? The young man was frightened! Meditate for a long time. Answer: equal to 2''? That psycho shot him without hesitation! Then I pulled the gun in my arms and said coldly, you know too much.

Then he met another man, a psycho, and without saying anything, he held him to the ground with a gun to his head! Question: What is 1+ 1=? As scared as young people! Meditate for a long time. Answer: I don't know. That psycho shot him without hesitation! Then drag the gun in my arms ~ I said coldly: I can't ask such a simple question. You don't have to live.

In a mental hospital, a patient is writing a letter. After the nurse saw it, she was curious and asked him:

Nurse: Who are you going to write to?

Patient: Write it to myself!

Nurse: Then what do you write?

Patient: You are mentally ill! I haven't received it. How do I know?

A policeman escorted a prisoner to prison, and suddenly his hat was blown off by the wind.

"Can I help you with your hat?" Please ask the prisoner.

"Do you think I'm that stupid?" The policeman said, "You stand here and I'll get it." ...

As soon as the customer came out from the drugstore to buy medicine, the drugstore boy hurried over.

Dude: Sorry, what you want is tonic water. I gave you poison by mistake.

Customer: Look at you, something terrible almost happened.

Dude: Yes, the boss will definitely scold me when he finds out. Poison is twice as expensive as tonic.

Two gangsters were lying in wait, trying to plot against someone, but they never saw him. One of them was anxious and said, "What's the matter? He hasn't come yet, I hope nothing will happen to him! "

Desperately, I ordered two dishes in the canteen at noon. After eating the first one, I was shocked. "Is there anything worse in the world?" I cried after eating the second one. "There really is!

Fire brigade: Where is the fire? Alarm person: My home. Fire brigade: I mean, where? Policeman: In the kitchen. Fire brigade: I mean, how do we get there? Policeman: Don't you have a fire truck? !

A stuttering chemistry professor: "Answer ... a reagent ... agent ... with ... with ... b ... trying ... reagent ..."

Classmate: "I see, reagent A and reagent B are matched ..."

Bang! ! ...

Professor: "... that ... that ... will ... explode. "

A new shop assistant is memorizing everything. An old lady bought a bottle of soy sauce. The clerk said, "I'll charge you xx yuan and give you xx yuan. Do you need a straw? The old lady suddenly fainted. ...

Don't press down.

Look at it later!

Peeping, right?

I told you not to look.

Still look

Ha ha laugh ... voyeur sentenced you to happy weapon imprisonment according to the special criminal law of the Republic, deprived you of lifelong depression and confiscated loneliness and anxiety. This judgment has not been finalized, you have no right to appeal, laugh at once!

I have good news and bad news, which do you want to hear first?

Tell you what! The good news is: no bad news!

What? What is the bad news? Of course there is no good news! !

During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, you were the commander-in-chief, with a lid on your head, a sack on your waist, an egg yolk pie in your hand, and two cabbages at your feet. Your name is Dong Fangbubai. When you charge, you shout, "Who has rotten bottles and cans to sell?"

A jewelry store was stolen. When the police arrived at the scene, they found a drunk lying there. In order to find out the whereabouts of the jewels, the police found a bucket of cold water, pushed the drunk's head into the water and asked, "Did you see those jewels?"

The drunk opened his misty eyes and said, "Sorry, I really can't find it. You'd better change a diver! " "

The officer walked up to the new recruits who were drilling, walked up to the first soldier and asked, "Answer me, soldier. What is the motherland? "

Soldier A replied, "Sir, my motherland is my mother!" " The officer was very satisfied and went to the second one and asked the same question: "Answer me, soldier, what is the motherland?"

Soldier B immediately replied, "Sir, the motherland is the mother of the first soldier!" " "

An old lady can't read, but she likes listening to the radio. The weather forecast must be listened to every day. One day at dinner, I asked my family, "I have a question." Do you know where it is? It rains almost every day there. "

No matter what car one takes, one should lean against the window.

One day, I want to fly. When I got my boarding pass, I told the lady that he wanted a window seat, but the lady said no.

After boarding the plane, he casually found a window seat and sat down. Suddenly, a man came up to him and said, "This is my seat."

He said, "I just like this seat, but I just won't let it!" " "

The man begged to no avail, so he said angrily, "All right, you can fly the plane!" " "

Turn around and go!

In the recruit company, the monitor is guiding the recruits to practice the dance steps of the day.

Monitor: On my mark, everyone raise their left feet.

Jamlom a panic raised his right foot, just beside him into a pair of raised left feet.

The monitor saw it from the side and said angrily that the fool had his feet up.

A driver will drive home after drinking. He saw the car speeding by again and again in the mirror and thought, no, the car is driving too fast! So he's going to slow down. However, the car in the mirror is getting faster and faster. No, slow down, he thought. So I'm going to slow down.

At this moment, I saw a policeman knocking on the glass of his car. No way, he thought. He must have driven too fast and was seen by the police. So he opened the car door and said apologetically, "I'm sorry, I didn't pay attention just now. I was driving too fast again." I saw the policeman angrily pulling him out of the car: "You know you can't park in the driveway! A fine of 50! "

A 70-year-old aunt is driving a car and carrying three old people who are also aunts slowly along the provincial road. The traffic police stopped her and said, "Aunt, you drive so slowly, which affects the traffic."

The aunt who was driving said, "Didn't that sign say 20?"

The traffic police said, "That's Highway 20!"

The aunt driving said, "Oh! Oh! Which highway is that, not the speed limit! "

The traffic police said: "Yes, doubt? Why are the other three aunts behind you so ugly? "

The aunt who was driving replied, "We just drove from Highway 245!"

One day, China, the United States and France held a meeting, each praising the ferocity and intransigence of domestic wine.

Finally, I decided to fill the mice with wine and compare the level.

The French brought cocktails and threw them at the mice, who drank them with messy steps and hairy eyes.

Straight men, French people are complacent.

The American brought XO, and the mouse was drunk and unconscious after only a few sips. The American laughed,

Look at two people drinking with provocative eyes.

It's China's turn. He took a bottle of Erguotou, opened the cap and waved it in front of the mouse.

The mouse that smelled the wine didn't see anything unusual and walked away. Proper laws, beautiful drunkards.

The mouse laughed at China Liquor and staggered back, holding a brick in his hand.

Still shouting: "Shit, where's the cat?"

Question: Why has pangolin been digging? A: He's looking for Kawasaki.

I didn't pay attention to washing the dishes. I dropped it on the floor. Fortunately, except for a corner on the side, it became a small gap.

Then continue to wash the dishes. My right hand didn't pay attention. I passed through the gap ... it was broken.

I thought: Is it really that fast? I can break my hand. Then I tried it with my left hand and it broke.

I thought to myself, that was fast. If this bowl is used for eating, it will soon be miserable. Then nc, I tried it with my mouth ... my lip was broken ...

It used to be junior high school. Self-study class In that quiet and peaceful classroom, suddenly there came "poof!" The ground farted and the crowd turned around. An elder sister greeted everyone's eyes and said, I let go! Then everyone turned around. Two minutes later, it was "poof!" The timbre is similar. The crowd looked back at the sisters, who looked at us kindly, nodded approvingly and said, You guessed it.

The policeman stopped the speeding man, took out a fine notice and asked, "What's your name?"

Foreigner: "My name is Sadil? Rizos, Tom? Demetrius. Kelly Ann Roborough. . . "

Policeman: "Forget it, don't drive too fast in the future."

Pol.ice caught a lobster thief at the seaside, and is going to be fined according to law …

M: What did you say? What law have I broken?

These two lobsters are my pets. I took them out for a walk!

Policeman: I am too lazy to listen to your nonsense!

Man: Really, my Lord!

They like swimming in the sea. As soon as I whistle, I will swim back!

Pol.ice: I want to see this ~ so the man threw two lobsters in his hand into the waves …

Policeman: Well, I'll see how you can get your pet lobster back.

Man: Lobster? What lobster?

You're stranded on a desert island, and your cell phone doesn't work, so suddenly you can make a phone call. Who did you call first?

China Mobile, complain to them! The signal is so bad!

Do you believe that someone will always pay attention to you silently, but they are just silent?

There are quite a few ... community security guards, film policemen, plain clothes, monitors in office buildings, and tens of thousands of cameras on the road. ...

The first part: the sound of rain and reading, I don't make any noise.

Bottom line: family affairs, state affairs and world affairs are none of my business.

Horizontal batch: while playing.

The first part: doctoral students, graduate students and undergraduates, endless!

Downward: last session, this session, next session, next session unemployed!

Horizontal criticism: willing to study and admit defeat

The first part: Jinsha River, Jialing River, Heilongjiang and Jiang Jiang can all vote!

Downward: experimental building, teaching building, dormitory building, building can jump!

Horizontal approval: unprecedented

★ Part One: The wind blows and the rain blows. I am waiting for your call back; Bottom line: live for you, die for you, and wait for you all your life;

Horizontal batch: sent to the wrong person.

★ Shanglian: Look behind, thousands of troops and horses;

Bottom line: turn around and scare away millions of heroes;

Horizontal criticism: Oh, my God

★ Shanglian: Don't cheat in the exam, and be a schoolmate in the coming year;

Bottom line: I would rather have no personality than fail;

Horizontal batch: I just want to go!

★ Shanglian: Mahjong Poker Golden Flower, lost home;

The bottom line: the ancient road is thin and thin, and the world is heartbroken;

Horizontal batch: miserable!

★ Uplink: Remove the numbers one and two;

Bottom line: there are four, five, six, seven, nine;

Horizontal batch: only 38!

★ Shanglian: Say yes;

In a word: you say no, you can't do it, and you can't do it;

Horizontal criticism: I can't accept it

★ Shanglian: The person I love is taken;

Bottom line: people who love me are terrible;

Horizontal criticism: Life is hard.

★ Uplink: Up and down layers of code, and success is achieved immediately;

Downward: it is a matter of course to derail and mix water;

Horizontal approval: everyone is happy.

A new sculpture was built in a school-a girl with a book in her left hand and a pigeon in her right hand. The school leaders openly call the students names in the school. There was an endless stream of replies, and one of them was the loudest: reading is for birds!

A headmaster spoke at the graduation ceremony of the students. There are thousands of people sitting under the stage. The headmaster began to lecture, looking solemn. He said, "Students." A sudden gust of wind blew all the speeches to the ground.

The headmaster said, "I'm done."

Now I know that the house slave Li Bai bought a set of uncompleted residential flats, which is evidenced by poems: the foot of my bed is as bright as a thread-there is no window; Is there frost already? -The door is not installed; Looking up, I found it was moonlight-the roof was open; I sank again and suddenly remembered home. -It hurts.

The weather forecast lasted for more than ten minutes, and the Japanese just said, "It will rain all over the country."

Triboelectricity, a middle school physics teacher, said in class: We take off our sweaters in winter. The sweater creaked. And lightning. But not in summer. Why?

Boy in the back: Because I don't wear sweaters in summer.

10. 13 9 oranges for children. How to divide it fairly? Strangle four!

6. Do you think you look good in person or in photos? -Turn off the lights. . .

One day on the bus, the driver at one stop asked, "The back door is closed!" " "No one answered, so he closed the back door and started. This is a girl's faint voice in the carriage: "Open the door!" The driver braked angrily, suddenly opened the back door and shouted, "Get off quickly!" "Everyone in the car looked at the back door, but no one got off for a long time. They looked at each other inexplicably. At this time, the woman in the car TV sent another voice: "Open the door!" "

The white rabbit met the wolf.

The white rabbit said, the wolf, the wolf, you asked me if I was a white rabbit.

Ask! Ask! ! ! !

The wolf said, are you a white rabbit?

The little white rabbit is very happy. Yes, yes, I am! ! !

then

The white rabbit said to the wolf, Wolf, you asked me if I was a giraffe.

Ask! Ask! ! ! !

The wolf is helpless. All right. . . that . . Are you a giraffe?

The white rabbit patted him on the back of the head

You idiot! I told you I was a white rabbit! !

Landlord: The damn barber shop cut my head! Let's do some bad actions, and ask that the bigger the injury, the better, and the smaller the action, the better, because I am going alone.

Reply: In the middle of the night, the moon is dark and windy, quietly and gently, hanging alone in front of the barber shop. ...

Someone went to Shanghai on business and lost a dollar in the street. The policeman said, "We will definitely help you find it." When the man went back in January, the street where he lost his money was dug up to build roads, and he could not help but sigh, "Everything in Shanghai is real"?

A man wanted to jump off a building, and his wife shouted, "honey, don't be impulsive, we still have a long way to go!" " "

The man heard a whoosh.

Afterwards, the policeman said to her, "You really shouldn't have threatened him like that!"

Neighbors play the piano at two o'clock in the middle of the night. Don't be angry. You can wake him up at four o'clock and tell him you appreciate his performance.

The electronic eye flashed at me while driving that day, but I was definitely not speeding, so I went back and passed the electronic eye at a slower speed, and it flashed again. I was puzzled, tried again, and really flashed again. I thought it was fun, so I tried again at turtle speed. Later, I received five tickets for not wearing my seat belt. . .

Xiaoming loves watching detective dramas. From the first minute of the opening ceremony, he was looking for the murderer and never missed a suspicious word or a foreshadowing.

On this day, I went to see another play called Murder in Park Street.

When the waiter led him to his seat, the curtain had just been opened.

Attendant: "Are you satisfied with your seat? Sir. "

Xiao Ming: "Of course, thank you."

Attendant: "Shall I take your hat to the cloakroom?"

Xiao Ming: "No, thanks." Xiao Ming thought it was time for him to go, but the waiter didn't.

Attendant: "Do you want a program?"

Xiao Ming: "No, thanks."

Attendant: "There are still pictures on it."

Xiao Ming: "Thank you."

Attendant: "or a telescope?" Xiao Ming refused angrily.

The waiter asked him if he wanted chocolate cake and a bottle of champagne, and the plot began to get tense.

Xiaoming is angry and anxious. "No, I don't want anything. Go to hell. "

The waiter finally found that tipping was not allowed here, so he gave Xiao Ming a terrible revenge. He pointed to the stage and said in my ear with a voice full of hatred, "The murderer is a gardener."

The two chess players sat in silence in front of the board for five hours. They stared at every work with rapt attention.

Suddenly, a chess player said, "In principle, I object to talking while playing chess, but now I want to ask: Which of us should take the next step?"

When I was in junior high school, I was a member of the class's style Committee, but my voice was very loud!

At that time, the school would invite me to be a broadcaster in the annual sports meeting, that is, some students contributed, and it was me who broke the record in several classes within a few years.

That day, I didn't know what happened. I was dizzy. Maybe it's because I'm tired from broadcasting all day!

Another student contributed, so I began to read into the microphone with great emotion: Look, the final of 100 meter has finally started, and the students ran out like wild dogs ... ~! ? # RMB% ...-*) It seems that I heard later that the person who might have won the championship smiled on the runway because of this sentence. )

The flies are eating with relish. The little fly asked his mother, "Mom, why do we only eat feces every day?"

Mother is very angry: "I have said many times, don't say such disgusting things when eating!" " "

American soldiers dreamed that Saddam stood beside him with his mouth open. The soldier asked, "What do you want?" Saddam showed his white teeth and said, "Our goal is-no tooth decay!" " "

You are hardworking, simple, dignified and generous, and never show off. You are brave and harmful to the people, and you have never tried. You are a friend of everyone and a friend of the peasant brothers. If you change your delusion that you want to eat swan meat, it will be perfect!

During class, a student fell asleep, and his cell phone suddenly rang. "Speak to the emperor, there is a unruly person who asks for an audience. Is it to be answered or cut?" . "Suddenly there was silence in the class, and the people in the class never called again.

At the old classmates' party, a brother got drunk. At this time, the classmate asked: What time is it? Drunk brother took out a bunch of keys from his pocket, took a look, and then calmly said, 9: 40.

At a breakup dinner, after three rounds of drinking, everyone was flushed. I suddenly found my brother melon's eyes glazed over, staring straight at his soup bowl. A finger is trying to dig a crack in the bowl, muttering: Why can't this head and hair be pinched? ……

The boss of a company had an accident after socializing, called a lawyer and was detained by the traffic police!

Knowing what happened, the lawyer questioned the traffic police: "Can my client prove that he is drunk by kneeling in the middle of the road?"

"Of course not," replied the traffic policeman, "but this gentleman knelt in the middle of the road and rolled up the white line drawn in the middle of the road."

At the end of the year, a colleague who was usually very calm drank his eyes red that day. When the leader saw that the situation was not good, he quickly asked me to take him home. But when I reached for a taxi, my colleague didn't get on the bus anyway, but sat on the side of the road with great interest. He looked up and said to the sky, "Who said there are countless stars in the sky? I want to count them all tonight! " "

I remember one time I went drinking with my buddy, and a buddy A was drunk. Everyone saw that he was dying, so let him go home first. He took a taxi, got on from the right door, told the driver the destination, gave him ten yuan, and then got off from the left door with satisfaction!

I got drunk after drinking with my colleagues. One of my colleagues insists on going home by bike. We don't trust, just watch from the back. As a result, the buddy rode down for a while, took a big step forward, got on the bus and rode down again. Let's catch up and ask, what are you doing?

This guy: "I was fine when I came, but who knows why there were so many ditches when I went back."

When we looked back, it turned out to be the shadow of a street lamp.

A thief was stealing from a house when suddenly a voice came from his head, "God is watching you".

The thief was surprised and wanted to stop to go, but after thinking about it, he continued to steal. At this time, there was another voice "God cares about you". The thief was startled, looked around and found a parrot talking, so the thief and the parrot began to talk.

The thief said, "What a small thing! So smart, what's your name? "

The parrot said, "Xiao Qiang"

The thief said, "Haha ~ ~ ~ How did your master give you such a funny name!" " "

The parrot said, "What's so strange about this? My master named the Tibetan mastiff' God'! "

Thief: "........."

Someone throws oil all over you and tells you, don't worry, it's all automatic. What do you do? -Beat him for kidney deficiency and tell him, "Don't worry, there are six kinds of Dihuang pills to treat kidney deficiency and contain no sugar."

Traffic safety during the traffic safety week, in Johor, Malaysia, the Ministry of Communications was in some places.

Post the following placards:

"When you drive a car, if you keep about 30 kilometers per hour, you can enjoy it along the way.

Beautiful scenery; If the speed exceeds 50 kilometers per hour, please visit the court; More than 80 kilometers, please see a doctor.

Stay in hospital for observation; Over100km, please rest in peace.

There are only two things I can't do in my life: neither this nor that.

A naughty primary school student was reading comics in a comic shop when suddenly a middle-aged mother shouted in the street, "Little!" "

If you don't go home, you're still fooling around. If I catch you, you're dead. "I saw the pupil spread.

When I lost my painting, I ran away ... I walked about fifty meters, panting, "... why did I run away?" "

I am not Xiaoming. 」

A: I'm perfect, but no matter what you say, I'm perfect ~ ~ B: Which two beauties do I lack? Inner beauty and outer beauty ... b: ...

Now you scold me because you don't know me yet. When you get to know me later, you will definitely hit me.

Cheating in the exam, Qi Xin and Qi Xin work together to copy mainly, and Mongolia combines copying to ensure the results. If there is an informer, after-school violence fails, he will be shot.

A student threw a coin into the air: "Look up to see a movie, play billiards on your back, and learn when the coin stands up."