A joke like playing peas.

Free oil

After the United States decided to send troops to the Korean peninsula, the first combat unit to reach the battlefield was the 24th Infantry Division. Due to the rush to send troops, the troops are seriously under-equipped, and there are too many new recruits and insufficient training. They didn't even teach how to distinguish enemy tanks from enemy tanks. As for the difference between South Korea and North Korea, it is even more numb.

In the battle in Daejeon, several T34s broke through the defense line and rushed into Daejeon, posing a great threat. The 24 th division commander personally took the anti-tank team and traveled all over the city looking for North Korean tanks. But the teacher is very busy, and the subordinates don't care. One of the T34 cars rushed into the city and had to stop in the street because of running out of fuel. For a long time, American soldiers came and went, and no one paid attention. The North Korean oil tanker was bored in the tank and came out to smoke, but no one took a reason. Finally, when the North Korean soldiers saw that the follow-up troops didn't come in, they felt that they couldn't stay any longer, so they grabbed a passing American soldier and made a gesture. Enthusiastic Americans ran to get ten gallons of oil, and T34 left with American oil. ▲

Watching these jokes makes me laugh to death.

1. Snakes, ants, spiders and centipedes play mahjong at home. After eight laps, the cigarette was finished. Let's discuss who to buy cigarettes for. The snake said, "I have no feet." I'm not going. Let the ants go. " The ant said, "A spider has eight feet, more than mine. Let the spider go. " The spider said, "No matter how many feet I have, I can't compare with the centipede. Put the centipede. " The centipede was helpless, thinking: No way, who let me have more feet? So the centipede went out to buy cigarettes ... for more than an hour, the centipede didn't come back. Two hours later, the centipede didn't come back to buy cigarettes. So everyone let the spider go out and have a look. As soon as the spider went out, he saw the centipede sitting at the door. The spider was very angry and asked, "Why don't you go?" Everyone is waiting. The centipede was also anxious and said, "Nonsense! You have to wait for me to put on my shoes! "

Spiders and bees are very happy at first after they get married. The bee said, "Oh, great, I can eat meat." The spider said, "Ah, yes, I can taste honey." Later, they always quarreled, and the bee said, "If you don't go out all day, you will know how to get rid of your broken orchid!" " "The spider said," You go out for a walk all day, and all your cosmetics are gone! ""At last they made up, but the bees always complained, "You are too closed and always stay in your own net. Can I communicate with spiders outside on the Internet? "Spider sighed:" Well, you don't know, the company has restricted it, and you really can't get online! " "

A farmer's daughter is too ugly to marry, so the farmer has to let her go to the cornfield to be a scarecrow. As a result, when she got there, she not only scared away the crows, but even scared three crows to send back the corn they had stolen before.

An international student in America wants to take an international driver's license. Because I was so nervous during the exam, I saw the marking on the ground turn left. He asked uneasily, Turn left? The invigilator replied: Yes. So he turned right at once. I'm sorry he can only come next time.

There is a little white rabbit running happily in the forest. On the way, I met a giraffe who was rolling marijuana. The white rabbit said to the giraffe, "Giraffe Giraffe, why did you do something that hurt yourself?" Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "The giraffe looked at the marijuana and the white rabbit, threw the marijuana behind her and ran with the white rabbit in the forest.

Later, I met an elephant and was about to take cocaine. The white rabbit said to the elephant, "elephant, elephant, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?" Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "The elephant looked at the cocaine and the white rabbit, threw the cocaine behind him and ran in the forest with the white rabbit and giraffe.

Later, I met a lion who was about to fight. The white rabbit said to the lion, "Lion, lion, why did you do something that hurt yourself?" Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "The lion looked at the syringe and the white rabbit, threw the syringe behind him and rushed over to beat the white rabbit.

The elephant and giraffe trembled with fear: "Why did you hit the white rabbit?" He is so kind and concerned about our health that we are close to nature. The lion said angrily, "this bastard rabbit drags me around the forest like an idiot every time he eats ecstasy!" " "

6. A boss finished drinking, whistled and drove his beloved Mercedes-Benz 600 on the expressway, very happy. At this time, he found an agricultural tractor parked by the roadside and a man was waving. So he stopped the car. It turned out that the tractor broke down on the road and I wanted to find someone to help tow it away. The boss was very happy today and agreed.

At the same time, two people agreed that if the tractor turns on the right turn signal, please continue driving. If the tractor turns on the left turn signal, please stop. Then, the boss drove the Mercedes-Benz 600 and tractor on the road. Suddenly, a BMW overtook them from behind at breakneck speed. When the boss saw it, he was very angry and shouted, "No one dares to surpass me in Mercedes-Benz 600!" So, he immediately put on the high gear, stepped on the accelerator and ran for the BMW to catch up. He forgot to drag a tractor behind him because of drinking.

The boss soon caught up with BMW. Just as they were racing at a speed of 280 miles per hour, they were found by a traffic policeman on the roadside. It's too late to stop them They quickly took out their walkie-talkies and contacted the police in the next section: "Hey, hey, hey, I found two cars racing at a very fast speed. One is a BMW and the other is a Mercedes-Benz 600. Please stop them. No, it's three cars racing, followed by a tractor, which is still trying to overtake with the left turn signal ... "

7. A: "Is your talking parrot still alive?"

B: "Oh, forget it. I didn't expect to die after raising it for a week. "

A: "Did you die of illness?"

B: "No, it competed with my wife until she was exhausted."

8. A team member added a child, and all teammates were invited to attend the baptism and came to the church. Suddenly the child slipped from the mother's hand, and the goalkeeper decisively saved it and caught the child a few centimeters off the ground. Everyone applauded and cheered. Goalkeepers are used to clapping twice and then skillfully kicking out.

9. The mother said to her daughter, "Today, you practice cooking and cook two dishes. I'll teach you. Yellow croaker, you have to burn the straw in your head. Bamboo shoots should be cut into pieces, and each time they are cut, they turn around. " The daughter agreed to go. After a while, my mother went to the kitchen to have a look and was startled. I saw my daughter's head tied with straw. Just spin around on the ground, turn around and cut bamboo shoots. As soon as she saw her mother, she shouted, "Great! Dizzy! "

10. At the flag-raising ceremony, the headmaster made a thought report: "... I am the son of China people." The following student: "I am a citizen of China."