I interviewed hundreds of married women and found three big lies in marriage. Which three lies are common?

The lies we are most afraid of come from the malice of people around us. Before we know about marriage, we need to hear the good and bad of marriage from others. We are willing to listen and they are willing to tell, which constitutes a lot of white lies about marriage, and we accidentally hurt ourselves. To this end, I interviewed hundreds of married women and reminded them of three big lies in marriage.

It doesn't matter who you marry, you will get better when you get married!

This is the first lie about marriage. Its inner meaning is actually to compromise with the ideal, and it is also the imagination of most people who have experienced marriage. People who are blinded by this sentence try to convince us that we should bear a marriage that is not too different.

My best friend Xiaoqing was deeply tortured by this sentence. At marriageable age, Xiaoqing couldn't find a partner. Not only her parents are in a hurry, but also her seven aunts and eight aunts are anxious like ants on hot bricks, for fear that an older woman will appear at home and spoil the geomantic omen at home.

During that time, Xiaoqing talked to me like crazy, and I could hear those words in my dreams: "Don't pick it, if you pick it again, you will really leave." Anyway, it doesn't matter who you marry, they all live together! You have begun to depreciate now. No marriage, no market! Although it still has some value, it is not too old. It is decent to marry yourself. When it's time to have another child, a lifetime will pass! "

Xiao Qing, who was tortured crazy, couldn't bear to be disturbed. She obeyed her mother's instructions, went on blind dates and got married soon. It seems that when all the melons are ripe and relatives are happy, Xiaoqing is the one who is injured.

The introducer in the middle said that the man has a fixed job, a house, a car and a deposit, but he looks average and has a good temper and personality. Hearing this, Xiaoqing felt that her appearance was not important, but she could have a good personality and decided to try to communicate. In the process of this communication, he did have a good temper and personality, as the introducer said, and he also had a good impression on Xiaoqing. After several months of communication, Xiaoqing felt that it was fate to marry anyone anyway, and it was also fate to marry such a person.

But I didn't know until I got married that the man had a regular job, but his monthly salary was lower than Xiaoqing's. He does have a house, but the old house in the town also has savings, but there is not much left after marriage. Xiaoqing, who is half chilling, feels that fortunately she is right about herself.

After a simple honeymoon, his true colors were revealed. He didn't do housework and was lazy. His temper changed 180 degrees. Xiao Qing, who thought she was on the right path, felt that she was in a wolf's den, fearing that that sentence would make her unhappy every day, but the man felt that he was married and could not go back on his word, and he was even more unscrupulous in losing his temper with Xiao Qing.

Xiaoqing realized that it is different to marry anyone. Seeing that other sisters were so harmonious, Xiaoqing became more and more remorseful, listened to others' words excitedly and got married quickly.

Don't believe such a lie, it is the same to marry anyone, which will often push us into the abyss of pain and fall into a dilemma.

Men grow up when they get married! Men grow up with their own children!

These are two more lies about marriage. In most people's minds, marriage is still the top priority. Our mother's generation works hard for the family, and has infinite tolerance and a certain tolerance for men. They have been silently enduring the process of men's maturity for the first half of their lives, so looking at their children's marriage requires the greatest tolerance and tolerance.

My good friend Qingying didn't listen to our persuasion, but insisted on listening to her mother's words and married her current husband. Her married life was a mess. At that time, there were two men pursuing Qingying respectively. I have a good temper and a good temper, but I haven't made much progress in my work. The other is very talented, a legendary potential stock, and also very smart. Qingying couldn't make up her mind and asked us for advice.

We say that if a couple want to be long-term, have different views and have a good temper, a gentle person is more worthy of our love, but Qingying's mother thinks that this man is fine before marriage, and he will change his face after marriage. It is better to choose a potential stock than all changes. Qingying thinks what mom said makes sense. Under the influence of her mother's idea that a man will know that he cares about others when he grows up after marriage, she chose to get married.

But ten years have passed, this marriage has been married for almost ten years, and children have been born. Qingying's husband hasn't grown up, childish and immature! Although it is a potential stock, it is still as anxious and excited as ever, and the original talent has gradually become a joke. Everything depends on Qingying.

What kind of person is before marriage, what will happen after marriage, and sometimes it will get worse. Most men are like children who don't grow up. They don't become mature because of marriage, and they don't really have obligations because of having children! One more person who needs to care can only provoke more contradictions and disputes between him and you. It's nature. How does getting married and having children make him turn over a new leaf and become mature? There may be men who get better and become docile and mature after marriage, but we are not sure about the chances. Never look at marriage with a fluky attitude.

Whether we have good intentions or not, we should remember these lies and stay away from them. This is the most correct way for us to look at marriage. For the rest of our lives, we just want to find a lover who can shelter us from the wind and rain and walk side by side, instead of scum who will only bring us wind and rain. Maybe it will get better in the future!