A long paragraph of humorous classics

Do you like to be friends with humorous people like me, because you will be happy every day. In fact, you can be that kind of person, as long as you know one or two sentences or classic funny jokes. Next, I carefully prepared the "humorous classic long paragraph" for you. Welcome to watch! A humorous classic long paragraph (popular article)

1. Losing weight is said to be a woman's lifelong career. Usually it starts after meals and ends before meals ......

2. The college entrance examination didn't play well, and only three books were scored. Mom was very sad after learning the results. She stood in front of the window and was silent for a long time. Finally, she gritted her teeth and took out her mobile phone and dialed the phone number of her best aunt. XX, I'm telling you, my sister only took three exams, which will cost 28 thousand more tuition! I can't play mahjong with you for 5 yuan in the future. Let's play mahjong for 2 yuan next time.

3. Just now, a man gave up his seat to an old man and was robbed by a cheap woman, and then the cheap woman talked and laughed with her boyfriend, which made people angry. Then the man in the seat sent a few text messages and answered a phone call: No clothes, yes, when the time comes, you will fight when I drag those two down, and a car full of people will look askance, and the man's basin friend is not calm and asks what you do. Give up your seat: I'm the city manager. . .

4. Dad found something wrong with the fan after work. He said to his son, Feifei, you broke the fan! ? The son said:? It's not broken. After I modified it, its functions increased. It only shook its head, but now it will nod! ?

5. An operator received a call from a customer who stuttered and spoke a little slowly: I, I, I ... I want to ask, I, I, I, I .................................................................................................................. The operator just said, Big Brother, Big Brother, it's just you. Can it be free? Then he was fired!

6. whose wife is thinnest than three people bragging. A Dai:? My wife's scarf can be worn as clothes. ? Agua refuses to accept:? My wife accidentally fell into the sewer when she took a shower. ? Hua said calmly: My wife swallowed an almond, and everyone thought she was pregnant. ?

7. The young man decided to hold a wedding in his hometown in the countryside. The man's father sent a telegram to his in-laws in the city and asked, How many people can come? To get ready. ? In-laws call back and say:? Not many people can go, just prepare a ton of rice. ? He put? Dun? Written? Tons? . Soon I received a telegram from the countryside:? The wedding date was postponed for one month, because it was difficult to get a ton of rice for a while. ?

8. At the end of the week, the sun has shone on my ass, and my son still doesn't get up, and my mother cries: Lazy, what time is it? Are you still sleeping? Get up quickly. ? The son quibbled under the covers and said, I went to bed at 6 o'clock last night, but I didn't go to bed until 1 o'clock. ?

9. On the edge of the job fair, there is a row of mobile toilets. There are many people who go to the toilet, and there are long queues. Suddenly, someone ran over and asked: What company is this? Seeing that no one cares about him, this buddy then wonders: Why do you have to close the interview, so advanced? ! ?

1. A beautiful woman wearing a mini miniskirt met a hooligan on the bus. The rogue said: Miss, let me see your thighs! Here you go, 5 yuan. ? The woman said, Well, give me 1 yuan first, and when the bus arrives at the station, I'll show you where I gave birth. ? The hooligan was overjoyed. When the bus arrived at the station, she pointed to the roadside hospital and said, Look, that's where I gave birth! A humorous classic long paragraph (classic)

1. After physical education class in the morning, I was so hungry. Eating in the canteen is crowded and messy. I shouted to the aunt who cooked rice. Hurry up with my meal! ? Aunt shouted to the person who cooked in it: Come on inside! Beggars are impatient! ?

2. I went to see my future father-in-law and mother-in-law today. Lead them to enjoy the scenery and take photos on campus. Finally, take pictures of my husband and mother-in-law. My mother-in-law told me: Don't take too ugly pictures. Otherwise, you look stupid. If you take it home, your parents will laugh. ? I'm a little excited: Nothing, my parents are stupid, too! ? At that time, my father-in-law's face was black.

3. It is said that a girl in Yangzhou broke up with her boyfriend because she found that it was cash on delivery after receiving roses. . .

4. A man is riding a motorcycle with a four-or five-year-old child in the back seat. The man's riding was so bad that the child staggered. Finally, the motorcycle tripped and the child fell. The man didn't know it, so I stopped the car to pick up the child and stepped on the gas to catch up with him. Complain:? How did you ride a motorcycle, and you didn't even know that the child was lost? The man glared at the child and shouted: Where's your mother?

5. The young couple quarreled over a trifle. After the quarrel, the husband regretted it and asked his wife to watch two horses pulling a car outside. He said: Why can't we go forward together like those two horses in Qi Xin? The wife said angrily:? We are not two horses, because one of us is a donkey! ?

6. "Honey, I can't sleep. Tell me a story. ? Husband:? All right. Long, long ago, there was a young man who was studying in a medical school. One year, he took the examination for practicing doctors. His wife fell asleep before he finished his exams in physiology, biochemistry, pathology, pharmacology, immunity, microbiology, prevention, statistics, epidemic diseases, health law, psychology, ethics and internal medicine. The next day, my wife lost sleep again, so my husband said: Internal medicine includes: Diagnostics, Respiratory, Cardiology, Digestion, Nephrology, Hematology, Endocrinology, Rheumatism, and Emergency. My wife fell asleep again. . .

7. In the school sports meeting, my buddy won the long-distance race championship, and a girl came to him shyly and said: Can a handsome guy chase you? The man froze for two seconds and ran towards the runway. Ok, come after me. ?

8. School has taught me what is the temptation to go home.

9. Someone scolded QQ recommendation system:? What a bad recommendation system! I recommended my ex-girlfriend to my wife and said that you have * * * same friends! ! !

1. One of my classmates, a man, was caught smoking in the toilet with several classmates when he was in high school. Everyone looked at the headmaster nervously, only to see the headmaster take out a Chinese cigarette from his pocket and say, You guys smoke. ? They said:? No more, headmaster. ? Said again:? Go ahead, don't mention it, each of you will take a bite, and whoever drops the cigarette ash first will find the parents' humorous classic long paragraphs (selected articles)

1. Precautions for freshmen's school sister 1. The brother who takes the initiative to chat with you is not a good brother; 2. The brother who claims to be your fellow villager is the most dangerous; 3. The more brothers you know, the fewer friends you make. 4. A good brother has no time to care about his junior; 5. Brother's laughter is a bad signal, and brother's ambiguity is a prelude to the plan; 6. A brother who cares about your study must be hypocritical; 7. The senior who greeted you for registration was well dressed, but the whole semester was just that day.

2. I paid the money to attend the class. I can't attend the class because I have something to do. Why don't you let me take time off? Now the teacher just doesn't put himself in the right position. Do you think we are employees? We are customers!

　3.? Lao Wang, look, the iPhone is dead. This one? Can I borrow your wife to charge the battery? This is really not hooliganism. The surface of this solar-powered bikini (iKini) is made of solar chips, which charges almost all portable electronic devices, including mobile phones, MP3 players and digital cameras. It is said that it costs 12 pounds a set ~ it seems to solve the big problem of travel charging. . .

4. q? If North Korea has an aircraft carrier, what should it be called? .

5. In the afternoon, when the teacher was giving a lecture, it was suddenly cloudy and windy outside, and the sky suddenly darkened. A gust of wind blew the door open, only to hear a sentence from the corner of the classroom, Monkey Brother, protect the master quickly, there are monsters. The teacher replied decisively, and Bajie didn't panic.

6. Want a beautiful woman or an iPhone? The 42-year-old Guangxi native Xiao Chen is slim and graceful, and Wenzhou Ruian works, but the pursuers have never been moved. One night in mid-August, the bar met Peng, a man from Wencheng. Peng is a handsome 21-year-old who speaks Wen Ya and falls in love with Chen at first sight. Through the drunkenness, the two talked about life and ideals. Check in? . When Chen took a shower, iPhone4 was left outside. Beauty or iPhone4? Peng finally took the phone and ran away after a struggle.

7. One night, a gentleman lost his wallet on the road. It was dark and he couldn't look for it. The gentleman hurried home and looked around at home. His wife asked curiously, What are you looking for? Sir: Leave me alone. I'm looking for my lost wallet. Wife: Where did you lose it? Sir: It was lost on the road. Wife: Huh? Then why are you looking here? Sir: Because the road is dark and the home is bright.

8. There is a beautiful layman who converted to Buddhism and taught you the The six great divisions in the wheel of karma of Buddhism. When talking about the yin body before reincarnation, the beautiful layman said:? In fact, when men and women have sex, there are many people waiting to be reborn next to them, waiting in line. ? There was a collective silence on the table. Finally, a male animal said faintly: The shadow is coming, and the shadow is getting bigger.

9. A beautiful woman is going to get married after years of love, but her parents don't agree because her boyfriend doesn't believe in Buddhism. So the beauty advised her boyfriend to study Buddhism and believe in Buddhism as soon as possible. After a while, parents asked her boyfriend about his recent situation, and the beauty said that he had already believed in Buddhism. The parents said with satisfaction:? Then you can get ready to get married ? The beauty began to cry and choked up and said, He believed too deeply and became a monk. ?