Ask for some news sketches or jokes.

The Script Conception of Shanzhai News Network

Actor:

Male announcer

Female announcer

External reporter

Many guests were interviewed by celebrities.

The news broadcast music sounded.

Male announcer: Hello, audience friends. Welcome to the news broadcast (focusing on Lu)

Female announcer: Today is June 5438+February 3 1, the fifth day of the twelfth lunar month. Today is the annual meeting day of XX Company.

Male announcer: I'm Li Yong.

Woman announcer: I'm Dong Qing.

Male announcer: Because the announcer of CCLV News Department drank Sanlu milk powder last night and was hospitalized with collective melamine poisoning, today's program was hosted by us. The main content of today's program is …

The female announcer took out a small mirror and looked in it. Seeing the male announcer looking at her, she quickly put away the mirror and smiled mischievously.

The male announcer stared at the female announcer.

Male announcer: Here comes the camera! What are you doing? What are you doing? Don't laugh. Be serious. This is the news broadcast.

The male announcer turned to the audience: I'm really sorry for the audience. We guarantee that CCLV will not make such technical mistakes again during the 20 12 London Olympic Games. Yeah (doing Li Yong's action)

Female announcer: Stop choking. This is a news broadcast, not very six plus one. Be reserved. Where have you been?

Male announcer: The main contents of today's program are as follows

The female announcer snapped: the content of today's program is very yellow and violent.

Male announcer: Huh?

Female announcer: Oh, no, it's silly and naive.

Male announcer: Huh?

Female announcer: Oh, no, no, it's that, Brother Yong. I don't know this word.

Male announcer: What word?

Female announcer: A box with an 8 at the top and a mouth at the bottom.

Male announcer: Oh, this word, pronounce it, yeah (doing Li Yong's action)

Female announcer: Very shocking.

Male announcer: OK, OK, please see the details below.

Female announcer: It is reported that one day last month, hundreds of thousands of residents in Beijing suddenly encountered a black screen while watching TV. It is said that this is Microsoft's anti-piracy action. Please see our correspondent in Iraq's interview with Mr. Bill Gates from Baghdad.

Woman reporter: Hello, I'm britney spears. I'm interviewing Bill Gates for you now. Excuse me, Mr. Gates, is this made by Microsoft?

Gates: It's none of my business that the TV screen is black. I'm out for soy sauce!

At this moment, one of the extras threw a shoe at Gates, and Gates shouted, Look out! Tianwai Xie Fei

Gates bent down to avoid shoes: I told you I was out for soy sauce, and I'm not George W. Bush! Why did you hit me? It is wrong to throw things. What if I hit the child? Even if I can't hit children, it's not good to hit flowers and plants!

Female announcer: Microsoft issued a statement at the first time, saying that the black screen incident was caused by the power outage of the power supply bureau and had nothing to do with Microsoft.

Female announcer: This is an entertainment newsletter. The China Photographers Association recently awarded the 2008 Special Contribution Award for "Influencing China" photography. The winners are Edison Chen, a Hong Kong artist, and Zhou Zhenglong, a farmer from Shaanxi, China. Let's take a look at the live interview report about Edison Chen sent back by the special correspondent.

Woman reporter: Excuse me, Guan, what do you think of winning the prize? I heard that you ruined the feelings of many actresses and people. You're really free. Hi?

Guan: How can you make a rumor? You think you are CNN? You can't be too CNN. I solemnly declare that the divorce between Yi Nengjing and Harlem has nothing to do with me. I didn't do it. Vivian Chow and Jenny Tseng have nothing to do with me. I'm innocent!

Female reporter: It's really wordy. Everyone knows that Jenny Tseng is not interested in you. People like senior, so what do you do?

Guan: I played and.

Woman reporter: Oh, here comes Nicholas Tse! Run!

Nicholas Tse: Where to?

Nicholas Tse ran up and dragged Edison Chen off the stage and kicked him.

Female announcer: Here's the newsletter. This summer, the 29th Olympic Games was successfully held in Beijing. In the most striking men's 100 meter final, Jamaican athlete Bolt magically broke the world record and won the championship. The runner-up is China athlete Fan Paopao. Liu Xiang, a famous athlete, said in an interview after retiring from the Olympic Games with regret: "If I hadn't been injured, I could have run faster." . Within a week, this sentence was copied and pasted into the business halls and big rooms of major securities companies. It is said that Huang Xyu, president of X-US Electrical Appliances, was also detained by the police for investigation on suspicion of manipulating the stock price. Please see the report sent back by the reporter on the spot below.

Woman reporter: I'm interviewing Huang Yu Xiansheng in the French Bastille. I want to ask Miss Huang, what are you doing? Why are you doing this? You used to be the richest man.

X Yu: What happened to the richest man? Didn't you see Nanjing Jiangning real estate director smoking sky-high cigarettes and wearing a brand-name watch? He is richer than me, so I am short of money.

Female reporter: No wonder there is a popular saying now.

X Yu: What is it?

Female reporter: Cash is more important than your mother!

X Yu: (Northeast accent) Oh, mom, the person who invented this sentence is so talented!