The best family style: don't turn over old scores, put down face, it's hard to be confused.

Writer Liu Zhenyun said that life is a chicken feather.

In his masterpiece A Chicken Feather, he described the daily life of an ordinary family in the most plain language.

Husband and wife quarrel, life is tight, neighbors are not harmonious, work is not smooth, commuting is difficult, and school choice is anxious. ...

Everything is dull, but it is a life that each of us is experiencing.

People in the book are embarrassed in the story, and people outside the book are struggling in life.

It was not until I experienced a lot of things that I suddenly had another feeling:

Although life is hard, as long as the family atmosphere is harmonious, there is still hope for everything.

1. Don't dig up old scores.

The movie "One sentence is worth ten thousand sentences" says:

"When they are in love, they have endless words; After marriage, they quarreled endlessly. "

This is a true portrayal of Kobayashi's married life.

He and his wife quarreled again that day. The cause is a trivial matter: a catty of tofu has gone bad.

The wife complained that Xiao Lin couldn't make a living and didn't know how to put the newly bought tofu in the refrigerator.

Kobayashi blamed his wife for surfing the Internet, and then retaliated by saying that his wife hit the kettle last time.

My wife became more and more angry and scolded Xiaolin for breaking the vase last month. ...

The quarrel is escalating, and "mistakes" are turned out one by one. The two men screamed at the top of their lungs and accused each other of bad behavior.

Until an outsider came in and interrupted. Xiao Lin and his wife woke up and felt that there was no point in quarreling.

But the next time they are ignited by a trivial matter, they will turn over old scores and attack each other viciously again.

"Steady Tian Langke" said:

In fact, the trick for two people to stay together for a long time is not to turn over old scores.

What can I do if I turn it over? Only one is sadder and the other is angrier. "

Turning over old scores will never solve the problem, but will only make bad emotions snowball until life is riddled with holes and home becomes a burden from the harbor.

No matter how good the feelings are, they can't stand such a knife.

No matter how gentle a lover is, he will become ferocious in hysteria again and again.

Really smart people have a poor memory at home.

Only remember the present things, only communicate the immediate contradictions.

Solve one thing and let go. Don't correct the past, just look at the present.

Life is always new and family is always good.

When you get used to not turning over old scores, you will find that repeated days are also full of fun.

2

Put down face

In that era when college students were still scarce, Kobayashi's identity was undoubtedly enviable.

As soon as I graduated, I entered the national ministries and commissions, which is the key department to master the actual examination and approval power.

Born in the countryside, married a daughter-in-law in the city, bought a house in Beijing, and had standard household appliances of that era.

My parents in my hometown are so proud that they show off with the villagers all day: "My son is in Beijing. Go and find him."

But parents don't know that Kobayashi's life has long been stretched.

Because their daughter is still in infancy, the Kobayashi couple have to squeeze out one's salary to find a nanny.

The wages of the rest should not only meet daily expenses, but also entertain fellow villagers and meet the demands of relatives.

Kobayashi was forced to give up his favorite beer, and his wife was only willing to eat a bowl of fried liver for one and a half yuan occasionally.

Seeing that his wife's anger is getting bigger and bigger, Kobayashi has to put down his virtual dignity that he is trying to maintain.

If you can't afford a banquet, you will never set a banquet. Beyond the ability requirements, decisively refused.

After all, castles in the air painted by lies may be sought after for a while, but sooner or later they will fall apart.

It's better to be honest with each other from the beginning and be relaxed than at that time.

Kobayashi's biggest change was after meeting his college classmate "Little Li Bai".

"Little Li Bai" set up a stall to sell salted ducks to support his family, and asked Xiao Lin to help him for a few days, offering a high price of 20 yuan /2 hours (according to the standards at that time).

At first, Kobayashi felt it was too shameful to set up a stall. He is afraid of being recognized by acquaintances and criticized by leaders. Later, he reluctantly took up his post with the encouragement of his wife.

But after getting the reward, I bought a windbreaker for my wife and a cantaloupe for my daughter, which I was reluctant to buy on weekdays.

Watching everyone smile, Kobayashi finally realized that life is more important than face and responsibility is more important than pride when people reach middle age.

After all, face belongs to others, but life needs to be lived by yourself.

Eating, housing, going to school, seeing a doctor, providing for the elderly ... like a mountain, people are already overwhelmed.

Why bother embarrassing yourself and mentioning your family for the frivolous comments of others?

When you try to live a good life, you don't have to pursue it deliberately, and dignity and respect will come as promised.

three

Ignorance is a kind of happiness

Someone once asked why the older people get, the more troubles they have.

A philosopher replied that when I grow up, I always think too much involuntarily.

Just like this year, Kobayashi's daughter is old enough to go to kindergarten.

In order to get a high-quality kindergarten place, Kobayashi tried his best.

It's just that I don't have a good network, and I can't provide resources, so I was finally rejected by the director.

Seeing that the child was about to lose at the starting line, fortunately, the neighbor gave a helping hand and gave a place to enter the park, which made the Kobayashi couple grateful.

However, it didn't take long for the motives behind the neighbors' kindness to be exposed. It turned out that because the son didn't want to go to kindergarten, the neighbor wanted Xiaolin's daughter to accompany him.

At this time, Mr. and Mrs. Kobayashi are as nasty as eating horse manure.

It is also a shame to feel inferior to your neighbors. I am very sad that I have no ability and can only be given alms.

I am also worried that my daughter will be bullied by other people's sons, and I am even more sad that my daughter is so young that she has to gasp at others before she is sensible.

However, it turns out that Kobayashi's worry is purely white. The neighbors did not show off, and the daughter was not bullied by her son.

The days passed quietly day by day, and after a long time, even the Kobayashi couple gradually forgot their embarrassment.

Japanese writer Matsuura Yataro said: "The so-called life dilemma is just a shackle set by your imagination."

Before you do anything, come up with 10 thousand reasons to prove that it is impossible to start.

When I really did it, I found that many problems were solved.

When dealing with people, you always guess each other's thoughts in a few words, which leads to misunderstanding and slander.

But when you start to communicate frankly, you find that many contradictions never exist.

Feng Tang said in The Growth of Everything:

I'm happy if I don't think much. In other words, happiness means not thinking too much, not thinking blindly. "

Don't take your troubles to heart, others will follow him. Learning to be confused is the great wisdom of life.

The daily life of the Kobayashi family is actually the life of the vast majority of ordinary people in this world.

Every day has its difficulties and everything has its troubles.

And a good family style and harmonious family atmosphere can help a family solve a chicken feather in life.

Don't turn over old scores, move forward hand in hand with your lover and look forward.

Put down your face, work hard for your family and work hard for the future.

Rarely feel confused and lucky.

In the world of adults, it is hard enough to live every day. Don't be trapped by bad things and foreign affairs.

As long as you choose a simple life, you can live a simple life.