Requesting a self-created, funny cross talk or sketch script! Or it could be a spoof of a historical story! But it must be your own creation!

The two cross talk, with a scholarly temperament, slow and leisurely, wearing feather fans and silk towels. A wretched temperament, unkempt.

A: Observe elegant words, observe life with laughter,

B; Observe the right and wrong, observe all kinds of situations in the world,

B; Hello everyone, I It's Qin Shen. (Flattery)

A; Hello everyone, I am Kong Yuan. This is my opposite door. (Decent)

B; This is my opponent.

A; First of all, I would like to introduce myself to you. I am a descendant of the famous Confucius family. I admire the opinions of hundreds of schools of thought and respect the ways of Confucius and Mencius. A benevolent person loves others, takes responsibility for others, and restrains himself and restores etiquette. Do not say anything inappropriate, hear nothing inappropriate, see nothing inappropriate, and do nothing inappropriate. My neighbors give me face and call me Kong Xiaofuzi. My home is No. 741, Bash Lane, opposite No. 250.

B; Hello everyone, it’s not that I’m thick-skinned, it’s that I’m really helpless in this world. This is a well-known talent and beauty in our humble alley and the treasure of our alley. This man is full of knowledge and knowledge, and he just speaks it out. He claims to be a descendant of the Confucian family, and wants to dig out the source of Confucian wisdom, so he named himself Kong Yuan to fulfill his destiny. The villagers gave him too many compliments and flattery, and everyone saw that he was tall and tall, with a simple and honest face. Master, Oxbis.

A; Where where. In front of His Majesty, I feel ashamed. Qin Shen, Qin Shen, you are the sound of the zither played by the sycophant Qin Hui and the corrupt official He Shen, and you look like this.

B; I don’t have any weight. Your weight is overwhelming. Everyone knows that our mean alley has a reputation for being a hundred miles away, and everyone is so ashamed of it. Makes us deeply ashamed. But if your statue is placed under the plaque at the entrance of our alley, with a banner in front of the chest; what a humble place for a gentleman to live in, it will be regarded as a rectification of the name.

A; The little minds are full of nonsense. You are uneducated and have no skills, and you are just doing nothing all day long. Crossing the widow's threshold, eating the dumb and short-tongued, scolding the blind for their clumsy eyes, touching the bald man's bald head, stumbling over the lame and lame. One grain of rat excrement spoils a whole jar of rice. I walk upright and walk straight, I walk in all directions with magnanimity, so why blame me?

BOkay, you are considered a gentleman. So please tell everyone about your way of being a gentleman.

A; (Open the fan) The so-called way of a gentleman is that a benevolent person loves others, great love has no boundaries, the road is boundless, and is good for the world. Respect your brother. When communicating with others, keep your word and keep your promise. Everything is said to be righteous, and unrighteousness makes me rich and noble like floating clouds. A gentleman never tires of learning and teaching...

B; Come on, don't bother me with all this nonsense, your ears are calloused. If you don't tell me directly, just say that during the last identity review of residents in our lane, you helped your family register their identity. What did you write for yourself?

A; Citizen of the Republic of China.

B; Can you help your wife?

A; The Communist Party of China and the Motherland.

B; See, this is what is called a gentleman’s love of learning. When literacy is blocked, there is no distinction between male and female.

A; No one can make mistakes without being a sage. It is just a temporary mistake and it means nothing. A gentleman is eager to learn and has enough energy to practice, so he should study literature, become knowledgeable in literature, and apply what he has learned. If you are not ashamed to ask questions, if you have no need to live in peace, if you have no need to eat enough, if you are sensitive to things and cautious in speaking, you will be righteous and virtuous, and you will be a good scholar...

B; Okay, okay, do this with everyone every day It's useless. It's not interesting.

A; I am eager to learn. If I understand the truth in the morning, my life will not be in vain even if I die at night.

B; Okay, okay, stop justifying your story here...

A; A gentleman is magnanimous, how can he justify his story? A gentleman establishes himself in the world, and when he enters, he is good for the world, and when he goes out, he is good for himself...

B; Stop! If you say anything else, I'll beat you to death. (Measuring his fist, looking angry) I just want to ask Mr. Gentleman, why did you get called crazy on the bus that time?

A; This is purely a misunderstanding and I have to explain it to everyone. Nowadays, people are spiritually empty and depraved. Chatting has become the best way of entertainment. Every day, people going to work on the bus are chatting there with all their strength (making gestures). What: Mobile QQ, Level 3 QQ, Tencent QQ, Chery QQ...

B; Oh, look at how awesome these gentlemen are, they have incited Chery into the information industry with just one mouthful.

A; Yes, they are all chatting. But that’s not me. If I have some spare time, I will study literature.

I just took the Analects and slowly read it, but it was labeled as frivolous.

B; It seems like this guy is wrongly blaming you?

A; Of course. A gentleman loves fragrance and cherishes jade, so how can he be frivolous?

B; Yes, a gentleman pities the fragrance and cherishes the jade, pities the autumn fragrance and cherishes the Lin Daiyu, not the beautiful woman who flows smoothly and is just a fart. The eyes are not clear and the air is not smooth! (gesture)

A; classic, incisive. It seems that you have a very thorough understanding of yourself. Children can be taught.

B; To say that you are knowledgeable, you have to come up with something to prove to everyone. You can't get a college diploma, just put on airs to save face.

A; Okay, how about I tell you about your family history?

B; My family history? Do you know this?

A; I am knowledgeable and know everything about ancient and modern times.

B; Okay, tell me quickly. I want to hear how you fart.

A; This statement can be traced back to the late Spring and Autumn Period. According to legend, during a great battle between Qi and Lu, the Lu army was weak and in desperation, it was your ancestor who solved the problem.

B;Really? (joyfully) I have never heard of this.

A; At that time, the Qi army reached a pass on the border of Lu State. The army pressed in, and the darkness stretched as far as the eye could see. There is only one person guarding the pass, and that is your ancestor! !

B; Wow...

A; I saw him wearing a white robe and carrying an ax on his shoulder. He looked so heroic. He only turned around slightly to scare away the army and built Perform miraculous feats. As the saying goes: Look at your back and scare away thousands of troops, turn your head to scare away millions of troops

B; Oh my god! Is this true? (Exhibition of Infinite Glory)

A; It’s true. According to the historical records of Qi State: when the army was marching through the pass, they saw a man with a green face and fangs, holding an axe. He thought it was Zhong Kui from the underworld. The army did not dare to march and retreated. According to the historical records of the State of Lu, a song was sung throughout the country at that time: Your ugliness shocked the whole city and made my heart continue to beat. (A girl recited these words in the background)

B; You are talking nonsense, confusing the people, and slandering others. I want to sue you.

A; I haven’t finished speaking yet. There are records from later generations to prove it. This incident reached the ears of Sun Bin, a native of Qi at that time, and he was very admired and admired. Hence Sun Tzu's theory of total victory in the art of war: to conquer the enemy's troops without fighting is to be good. (Open the fan)

B; Even if you slander me, you still slander the great Comrade Sun Bin, you...

A; I am not slandering, the same is true of the great Comrade Zhang Fei of the Three Kingdoms The supreme fan of your ancestor, the same scene was staged in Changbanpo.

B;Really? (Beginning to wonder again)

A; History is passed down from generation to generation, and it is infinitely exciting. A thousand years later, this incident reached the ears of Zhang Zai, who was visiting the Jiange area at that time. He was filled with emotion and the beautiful saying "One man carries a halberd, ten thousand men are stunned".

B; It seems that I need to provide an explanation for China’s history.

A; History is accompanied by the continuous development of classical Chinese. By the time of Li Bai in the Tang Dynasty, the great poet was also intoxicated by your ancestor, and he wrote "One man can guard the gate, and ten thousand men cannot open it," which has been passed down through the ages.

B: Really? Passed down through the ages? Why is such a great thing not mentioned even a word in Chinese education?

A; History has developed infinitely, and concepts have been changing. Beggars can be called sharp brothers and create a trendy brand. As the saying goes, "Old trends in the Yangtze River push new trends, and old trends die in forgetfulness." Your ancestor may have been forgotten in this trend. But history can never be completely erased. There is such a popular saying on the Internet today: "Your beauty stunned the people in the city, and the reward of 300 has been credited." It is taken from the ballad sung by the State of Lu for your ancestor. .

B; You see, he can fool people better than Zhao Benshan.

A; I am not lying. What I said can actually be used as evidence. I compared you in detail with the records in the history books and found that you have inherited all the fine traditions of your ancestor, especially in appearance. Everyone can see clearly.

B; Hey~! You're not done yet.

A; Calm down your anger. You have to know that the reason why you can live peacefully in the mean alleys is because you are protected by my gentlemanly temperament.

B; Hey, Lao Kong, you are deliberately trying to make me look bad in front of the audience today, right? Everything you said has completely gone away. That's a bit much.

A; Calm down. In fact, you don’t need to escape or feel inferior. History must be accepted and cannot be changed. No matter how bad things are, they have two sides. Being ugly is not a sin, plastic surgery is a waste, and wearing makeup will still make you look haggard when you are old. Doing what you should do is the true meaning of life. You have to know that today’s public security organs need talents like you for fishing law enforcement and evidence collection! !

B; I finally figured it out this time.

Aum~? Understand what?

B; You are the kind of person who would rather be choked to death than admit to being starved to death.

A person has a face, and a tree has a skin. We support our face just to fight for a breath, but you support your face by relying on the stench in your belly. Defaming history will be infamy for thousands of years.

A; I am not trying to save my own face, but your face. It will be difficult for you to move out of this mean alley.

B; You are an eternal liar. A few years ago, I traveled all over the country alone, savoring the scenery of lakes and mountains. The bright road along the way, as evidenced by the mountains and rivers, was not as difficult as you said.

I traveled over the mountains and ridges to the southwest...

A; Yes, your ugliness scared away the Dragon King. He didn’t dare to set foot in the southwest for many days, and I haven’t dared yet. Come back, how many southwest folks have been harmed.

B; I went deep into the poorest mountainous areas in the west and witnessed the suffering of the poor mountainous areas.

A; Yes, your arrival has retired those substitute teachers who have been struggling to support education in mountainous areas, making the beautiful and great title of substitute teacher a noun in history forever.

B; I visited the beautiful coastline of the motherland and walked into the forefront of reform and opening up.

A; Yes, your arrival was like a sea wave, which immediately washed away a large number of NGOs, causing a five-year labor shortage in the economically developed coastal areas of China. .

B; Am I that tragic?

A; No, you are not a tragedy. The only difference between you and Hitler is that you use the non-violent non-cooperation movement.

B; Am I so redundant in this world?

A; No, the Creator is fair and can make everything have its place to make the best use of it. Sun Tzu's Art of War in the Nine Grounds chapter says: Fight where the enemy is dead. It means that when the army is forced into a desperate situation and cannot escape, the soldiers will activate their unlimited potential, fight to the death, and often turn defeat into victory.

When Comrade Sun Bin wrote this article, he once imagined that if your ancestor was used as the rear guard of the army, the army would definitely advance without retreating, and win without defeat wherever it went. Considering that your ancestor is a rare animal, the operability of this plan is too low, so I abandoned it without mentioning it.

B; Could it be that my usefulness was two thousand years ago?

A; No, in my opinion, the only way to eliminate the al-Qaeda terrorist organization in this world is; Let you sit in the Middle East, wearing a white robe and holding an axe, and I guarantee that the world will be peaceful. The world can't find you, which is a tragedy that no matter how great Shakespeare is, he couldn't write it.

B; Wiping away tears, it turns out that I am more terrifying than a terrorist organization. In fact, what I want is not the world's attention. What I have been pursuing is personal happiness. No one has discovered my beauty, and no matter how awesome Chopin is, he can't play my sadness.

A; Life is like a play, you should eat and drink, don’t take anything to heart. calm!

B; The people I love all say to me: The person I love has a beautiful name, but the person who loves me is miserable; his life is miserable!

A; Loving and being loved are both difficult, and love and destiny take time; friendship is priceless! wait!

B; Boy, girl, poor scholar, life goes on forever, first love, passionate love, extramarital affair, lingering; life without love. pain!

A; If you say you can do it, then you can do it or not; if you say no, you can’t do it; if you don’t agree, you can’t do it. Condolences!

B; I am crazy for you, I am tired for you, I suffer all the sins for you, I die for you, I am crazy for you, I hit the big wall for you; I am crazy for love.

A; Love has been suspended, love has also been liquidated, fate has slipped to the limit, thinking of a bull market, thinking that there will be no bear market, relationships cannot be invested in the long term, so hurry up and cover your positions.

B; Love has been in arrears, love has stopped, fate is not in the service area, there is no answer, and the line is busy, and the love can no longer be recharged; how can I communicate with Xinruo Mobile?

A; Use fake names, fake surnames, and fake addresses to cheat people with food, drink, and love; those who are willing will take the bait. OK!

B; Others have a background, but I only have a back view.

A; After watching The Legend of the Condor Heroes, I learned that age is not a problem; after watching Brokeback Mountain, I realized that gender is not a problem; after watching King Kong, I realized that species is not a problem either; I remembered that the relationship between humans and ghosts has not ended, Only then did I truly understand... It turns out that life or death is not a problem!

If a tree is shameless, it will surely die; if a person is shameless, it will be invincible! So...appearance is not a problem!

B; Don’t comfort me, I only have two tears.

A; Although you are not very handsome, some people praised you when you were a child: You look like a powerful guy in a horror movie.

B; As far as my thoughts go, I should go as far as I can!

A; What is happiness? Happiness is when cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and little monsters defeat Ultraman! Happiness must be achieved by oneself. (Clenched fist)

B; What I have is not what I want. What I want is not to wait sadly every day and every year.

A; A good man has his ambitions in all directions, and looks at all the romantic figures throughout the ages. As a man, you should hold your head high and be a hero for life.