Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - There was a brother in the Ming dynasty, and the devil incarnate appeared.
There was a brother in the Ming dynasty, and the devil incarnate appeared.
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A brother made his debut in the Ming Dynasty. The clown emperor did all the absurd things that his comrades-in-arms and brothers had never done, and the world gave him the title of devil incarnate.
Zhu Houzhao, the incarnation of the devil, has been clever since childhood. He learned everything as soon as he learned it. On weekdays, I also like riding horses, archery, knives and sticks.
After the death of Xiao Zong, Wu Zong, who was 15 years old, ascended the throne, and changed to Zheng Deyuan the following year, starting his imperial career.
But this did not pull him out, but under the leadership of Liu Jin, the more he played, the more outrageous he became.
Liu Jin is a cunning eunuch. He discovered Zhu Houzhao's playing habits and provided him with imaginative ways to play every day. Zhu Houzhao likes Liu Jin more and more. Even the government affairs were handed over to Liu Jin, who spent five years in the wild.
Later, when Wu Zong felt dissatisfied, he imitated the laughter and made many maids dress up as pink heads. Wu zong went door to door to listen to music and have sex, and the harem was filled with smoke.
02
Within the leopard room, beautiful women are like clouds, and Wu Zong leads a wanton and promiscuous life, which greatly satisfies his sensory enjoyment. It is full of women's music, Korean beauties, western dancers, Yangzhou girls and even widows. How many women are there in the leopard room? I'm afraid I don't even know Wu Zong himself.
Those women who are temporarily unlucky are placed in foster care in Huan Yi Bureau in case Wu Zong calls them from time to time. There are not only gifts from his wife, but also gifts brought back by General Wu himself from various places. The number of people is unimaginable. It is said that people often die of hunger and disease.
In order to keep their jobs, some criminal officials even gave their sisters and little wives to the emperor to please him.
He also dumped his entourage many times and went out to play privately. At night, he broke into houses and found good women to stay with him, sometimes even pregnant women.
Once Wuzong came to a small shop, took a fancy to the boss's sister Fenger, and married Fenger, making Fenger's brother an official. Who knows that Feng's son was blessed and died on his way to Beijing, and Wu Zong was very sad.
But not long after, he took a fancy to the musician Liu (then a professional actor), so he married Liu and loved him very much. The harem is called Empress Liu.
03
Wu zong has just acceded to the throne and still lacks the ability to control ministers. Seeing such a huge remonstrance, some of them could not support it, and they wanted to compromise with the minister and get rid of the Eight Tigers.
But at this critical juncture, the wily Liu Jin burst into tears in front of the emperor, making Wu Zongxin soft again. The next day, he punished the first minister who protested. Cabinet members Xie Qian and Liu Jian threatened to retire, but they were quickly approved by Wu Zong, and ministers lost their leaders and had to give up.
However, although Liu Jin relied on Wu Zong's favor and power, he ignored the power struggle within eunuchs. Finally, the great eunuch Liu Jin died at the hands of another eunuch Zhang Yongzhi.
Wu Zongfeng is lewd, but he has an irreparable regret. Although he has read countless women, he has no children, so he even directed a farce to marry pregnant women.
In the eleventh year of Zheng De's reign, Ma Ang, who was idle at home, made friends with Jiang Bin, the red man of Wu Zongzhou, in order to get the chance of reinstatement and promotion. Jiang Bin praised Ma Ang's sister for her beauty, skillful riding and shooting, and good singing and dancing in front of Wu Zong.
When Wu Zong saw it, he burst into tears of joy. Although she was pregnant, he brought her back to the leopard house from Fu Xuan and promoted her. In fact, due to Markov's luck, but other plans.
The courtiers heard some rumors and saw Ma Angchao granting the right governor. Knowing that the rumor was true, they all asked Wu Zong to expel Ma Shi to avoid future trouble.
I don't know if the story of "pregnant girl in Lv Buwei" made Wu Zong wake up, or if he saw that things had leaked out, but Wu Zong gradually alienated Ma Shi.
04
If he wanted to do it, Wu Zong ran out of the capital without telling officials, and then wrote a secret letter himself to summon 50,000 troops. A challenge letter was sent to the little prince of Mongolia, and 50,000 soldiers and horses played PK with 50,000 soldiers and horses.
The little prince was invited, and the opposing troops didn't say much, so there was chaos. The scene was chaotic, and Wu Zong personally went into battle and killed an enemy soldier. Finally, the little prince lost and ran away.
But people who write history books may not like Wu Zong, leaving only a few notes in the history books. It is also said that only 16 people were wiped out in this war. Is this not a joke? A war of 100,000 people between the two armies can crush many people even if they are trampled to death.
However, since I was very happy, I gave myself the name of a mighty general, renamed Zhu Shou, and saw the history of China. I'm afraid the only one who left the emperor to be a general and didn't do it was Wu Zong.
Due to the abandonment of the government, a large number of people have been displaced and a turmoil is brewing. The initiator of this turmoil was not the people, but the royal family of the Ming Dynasty.
Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty didn't worry about it, which just gave him a chance to make a southern tour, so he led his troops to war under the banner of general Zhu Shou, but Wang Shouren had put down the rebellion halfway.
The news didn't reduce Mr. Wu's interest at all. He directed another farce in the grave. He released Zhu again, captured him himself, and then held a grand palace banquet to celebrate his victory in counterinsurgency.
05
Because it was already September, the river was cold, Wu Zong had been hollowed out by women, and the disease never got up again. Wu Zong and his party hurried back to Beijing.
On his deathbed, Zhu Houzhao said to the eunuch in Li Si prison, "I am ill. It is my intention to reach the empress dowager, which is the most important thing in the world. I will judge with cabinet ministers. What happened before was my fault, and it was not what Cao Cao could have predicted. "
It means: "I'm going to die. Tell the Empress Dowager that we should take this as the most important thing in the world and choose a good emperor to preside over it. It was my fault before, but I was such a jerk. I know I was wrong. "
"People are dying, and their words are good." This famous saying is about him.
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