Why do some people suddenly stop contacting?

Many years ago, I got an offer from a foreign company to work in the human resources department of this foreign company. The manager of our department is a middle-aged woman in her forties. When I get along with her, I feel that she is as lively, lovely and easy-going as a girl. She talks about everything with you and laughs with her subordinates. The female manager often asks me questions and feels like a bosom sister.

But not long after, she began to scold me very viciously in front of many people, and even if it wasn't my fault, she let me take the blame. Sometimes she treats me like a dog. She scolded not only me, but also other colleagues. At the same time, she also generously invited us to dinner and tea, and any colleague would prepare small gifts for his birthday. However, the humiliating name-calling is still merciless. Wan is a two-faced man. I really admire her two-faced mood!

Suddenly one day, she set off my emotional point. Once, when I was making a report, I accidentally made a mistake in one of the data in the report and sent it to her. She didn't check it either, but reported her work directly to the general manager with a report. As a result, the general manager found this mistake and pointed it out. She thinks it's my little mistake that makes her look bad in front of the general manager and bears a grudge. Later, because of this incident, she scolded me in front of all my colleagues in the office for a whole week. I was really going to be scolded for depression. Finally, I sent a message to threaten her, meaning that if I resign, if you humiliate me again, I will break up with you. Indeed, such people bully the weak and fear the hard. From that day on, she stopped and never humiliated me again. It wasn't long before I left my job and didn't want to work in this environment anymore. After leaving my job, I often have insomnia or a cold sweat. I went to the hospital for examination and said it was mild depression, and then I took antidepressants for a while, and I gradually recovered.

Through this professional experience, I deeply realized that some people can be so brazen as to call you sister for a while and call you a dog for a while. If you meet this kind of person, it is not your problem, but this kind of person's problem. Remember to be kind to yourself and stay away from such people. This is a typical PUA workplace.

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Story 2

A few years ago, I had a close colleague who left for some reason. I keep in touch with her because we have a good relationship. Usually free, we often meet and chat and have dinner together. One day, this colleague told me that she found a better company with good benefits. At present, she is recruiting for such a position. With my experience and skills, I am particularly suitable for this position, and my salary will be much higher than now. She communicated with the boss of the company and gave me an internal recommendation. I trust her very much,

Egged on by her, I resigned without hesitation. But she said to me: the company suddenly changed and the position was cancelled! Then I blacked out WeChat, blocked the phone and couldn't contact her anymore.

Later, to my surprise, she returned to her original company and took over my job! I was shocked. I trusted her so much that I told her everything. As a result, she stabbed me, which hurt me a lot!

I found a new job in a hurry, but the salary is much less than before! This matter is very exciting to me. I have more negative emotions, unstable mentality, irritability, irritability and want to cry. I have been in a daze for more than a year. I think it's terrible that people are separated by bellies! On the surface, this kind of person maintains a very close and friendly relationship with you, but secretly hurts people and kills people invisibly. I dare not treat my colleagues as friends in the future. The IQ tax on making friends this time is too expensive.

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Summary:

The relationship between colleagues must be less emotional, and it is best not to have emotions. In the workplace, there has always been only rationality and no sensibility, but this does not mean that people are hard. Treat people warmly, smile often, respond to jokes told by colleagues when chatting, attend colleagues' dinners, often share snacks, and bring local specialties to colleagues when traveling or traveling. You should be polite and reasonable, but never get emotional. For you, there is work pressure and growth pressure in the workplace, but there is absolutely no emotional pressure. Without feelings, everything is natural and simple.

Communication between people is usually purposeful. Communicating with colleagues is more about completing work tasks. Keep this goal in mind and always communicate with this goal as the center, without mixing emotions. In this kind of communication, the focus is on managing others, how to make them cooperate with me, rather than emotional participation, and regard colleagues as your brothers and sisters and your confidants. Always remind yourself.

Beware of PUA in the relationship between workplace and colleagues. In good times, you will die hard, and in bad times, you will die of old age. When it's good, get any beneficial information from you, find and capture your privacy and weaknesses. When it's bad, everything is your fault. If you can't be a good person, you will fall into self-doubt about whether there is anything you can't do. As soon as you touch the interests, you will immediately attack your weaknesses, engage in small groups to isolate you, reveal personal privacy and personal attacks.