They say performance. How can you reply to him humorously?

1, "I didn't graduate from drama school, so don't expect me to perform on the stage."

2. "Only the actors in the movie have acting skills, but I don't. I only have vivid performances. "

3. "Don't look at me, I only have three-legged cat acting skills. Don't blame me for my failure. "

4. "To see the performance, you must first prepare the stage and lights for me, and the audience who applauded me."