Interesting text message

1, please don't look down, turn it off, there's really nothing to see, please, do you really want to see it? No regrets? Okay, you asked for it yourself, okay? You are a pig!

2. Is your Mandarin standard enough? Please read with me: hope, hope, forget, forget, forget. All right! Stop barking and go to study, dog.

When you step into the society, it's time to collect your personality. Don't tell everyone. What you said was from the heart, and what they heard was a joke.

4. Warning! Your mobile phone is about to be detonated due to hacking into the signal system. Please remove the battery of your mobile phone immediately and throw it five meters away. Stop!

5, dinner anecdote: dinner is not everything, no dinner is absolutely impossible; One meal a week is a normal person, one meal a day is a celebrity, three meals a day is a social butterfly, and more meals a day are waiters.

6. Drowned people can swim, and those who fall dead love climbing mountains. It's delicious to die Those who starved to death were all dieters. The one who died laughing is reading the text message.

7. They all say that you are 2, which is true. Your appearance is 1 handsome 2 dignified, your personality is 1 sincere 2 kind, and the most important thing is that your personality is 1 warm 2 generous. I hope you will continue to carry forward your warm and generous personality and invite me to dinner on Sunday!

8, test you, someone won the grand prize, put a song title, "Congratulations on making a fortune"? Don't! Think again, "God of Wealth Arrives"? Not right either! To tell the truth, it's "it's a pity it's not you"!

9. The teacher asked the students: How to explain "sharing pain with others will halve the pain"? Xiao Lun replied: If my father hits me, I will hit my brother at once!

10, your happiness, I will build it; I will make up for your confusion; I will satisfy your greed; I will give in to your willfulness; I'm the only one who cares about you. I am a professional donkey farmer!

1 1, the sentiment about reasoning: First, I don't want to reason with my wife; Second, I don't want to confuse things by reasoning with the leaders. Third, I don't want to be filial to my parents. Fourth, I don't want to reason with my lover. Fifth, you don't want to live if you reason with yourself.

12, man! When I am rich, I will use remy martin to flush the toilet for you, light your cigarette with US dollar bills, take a bubble bath with roses, take you to work with Boeing, and use Princess Zhu Huan as your maid! Okay？

13, you have the right to remain silent, but what you say will be evidence of my trouble; You have the right to hire a lawyer to protect your personal safety during divorce; If you don't have private money, I won't provide it.

14, the purpose of this short message: harassment; Mode: mass sending; Significance: In order to squander and commemorate how many messages can be sent this month that are not dead but are about to die; Remarks: No reply is required. If you have the same situation, you can imitate it.

15 There will be a meteor shower tonight. It is said that a big pig will fall from the sky. Too bad I want to sleep. You're gonna be okay. So many people watch you fly!

16 one day, a city man who looked down on rural people saw a farmer driving a donkey cart on the road and asked sarcastically, have you eaten? The farmer replied innocently, I ate it on the way. The city man glanced at the farmer and said, I didn't ask you, I asked the donkey. The farmer turned and patted the donkey and said, why didn't my relatives in the city tell me in advance?

17, remember the military training under the tree that year? The coach said to the students, "Count off in the first row!" You looked at the coach in surprise, and the coach said loudly, "Count off!" " "So, reluctantly, you turned and hugged the tree!

18, see and say: nothing to play handstand. I read it and said, fat is fat. What belt are you wearing? Look and say: don't think I'll marry you if you kneel. When I saw it, I said, hey, it's been several days. I got breast implants.

19, please pay attention to the quiz: the contestants are elephants, you and pigs. Through fierce competition, it is concluded that elephants are smarter than pigs and you are smarter than elephants. The final ranking is: you are like a pig. Applause!

20. A man and a woman are dating. Woman: Do you really love me? Man: Of course! I can't wait to show you my heart! Woman: That's not necessary! As long as you can take out your passbook at home.

2 1. The Tang Priest was tied up by a mountain thief. In order to demand ransom, the burglar dialed the Monkey King's mobile phone, and the prompt sounded: the other party had flown out of the service area. He asked the Tang Priest what the number of Pig Bajie was, and Tang Priest said, "I sent him a short message, and he is reading it.

22. When you meet a cloud, God gives you a gift. When it rains thousands of miles, golden beans and silver beans fall home; Worry about wet high branches, send you Ling Yunzhi; Only by being sloppy and immersed in poor soil can we embark on the smooth road. I wish you a successful career and an early success.

23. Telephone message: Don't talk yet. I guess who you are. In fact, there are three sentences I've always wanted to say to you, but I'm afraid I'll say something that doesn't even have friends. But today I have to say: Please hang up!

24. I miss you, miss you, miss you so much, find an artist to draw for you, stick you in a cup, drink water every day and kiss you! Pour a cup of boiling water and burn you to death!

25. These days, I really know what it means to fall in love with someone. That kind of yearning, that kind of longing, that kind of confusion, that kind of anxiety, is so fascinating and so tormenting.

26. Many nights, you gently snuggled up to me, touched my delicate place with your delicate hands, and sucked my precious body fluids before letting go. Damn it, mozzie.

27. Friendly reminder: Friend, after all, you owe me a meal, two hugs, three parties, four smiles, five phone calls, six text messages and seven sentences about missing you. You have to pay it off within one week, otherwise you will be at your own risk, hehe.

28. Whether it is sunny, cloudy or rainy, the day when I can see you is sunny; No matter yesterday, today or tomorrow, the day I can be with you is a beautiful day!

29, the weather is getting colder and colder, and the idea of missing you is getting stronger and stronger. Accidentally bumped into the wall when walking; The weather is getting cold, and I miss you so much that my face is sallow, and I was once lovesick and malnourished; The weather is getting cold, and the rhythm of thinking about you is comparable to that of the Great Northern Wilderness. It's great when you don't see your little heart. The weather is getting colder. Why not treat me to hot pot?

30. Xiao Zhang: Director, do you mind criticizing? Section chief: Never, but I like it very much. Xiao Zhang: Yes, sincere criticism has many advantages. Section chief: The important thing is that I want to know who is not satisfied with me.

3 1. Urgent reminder: there is tornado weather recently. Be sure to take two dumbbells weighing 10 kg when you go out to avoid being swept to the west by the strong wind. Those weighing less than 50 kg must be doubled!

32. One day when you were walking in the street, someone stopped you and said you were ugly. You denied it and got a beating: hypocrisy! I was stopped the next day and called you ugly. You admit being beaten: you are not modest! On the third day, I was stopped again, afraid to respond. I was beaten even worse: ugly is so shameful!

33. Betrayal is a man's blood, fraternity is a man's declaration, freedom is a man's mantra, and looking at the problem from another angle is a man's fashion.

I've always wanted to thank you for appearing in my life. Thank you for always accompanying me when I am lonely. When I am bored, as long as you are in Doby, I will feel extremely happy. I have always regarded you as my baby and always wanted to tell you that I really love you ... Katie.

35. Are grapes sweet? Are apples sour? Is our relationship very weak? Is it difficult to send text messages? Don't you know I'm thinking about you? How dare you look down? Don't you reply to the message? Think of me!

A: Yesterday, my wife said to me in school uniform, "Today I am your student. This is your phone. " B asked excitedly: What's next? I gave her homework.

37. If you can't do it, don't make a promise easily. Failure to fulfill my promise will make me even sadder. I am still immersed in the time spent with you. But you ran away with him for a bone!

If I had a happy grass, I would give it to you. I hope you are happy. If I have two, one for you and one for me, let's all be happy! If I had three, I would give you two. I hope you are happier than me!

39. Falling raindrops are tears of missing, and falling snowflakes are frozen tears. Friend, no matter when and where, I will never forget you who used to suck your fingers and wet the bed, hehe.

40. I heard that pigs can imitate people. I ran to see it, but I didn't believe everything I saw: the pig was reading text messages on his mobile phone like a human!

4 1. Today, you deserve 999 roses. But the shopkeeper refused to give a discount. So I can only say to you here: Happy March 8th! -Hey, are you a bitch?

42. Although the ugly duckling is in China, she is ambitious and has been working hard silently. Finally, on this day, he packed his bags and said "goodbye, mom, I'm going to Beijing to catch roast meat." Send a cold joke to cool you down, haha!

43. People say that whoever sends a text message in the middle of the night will reply and he will always remember you. I want to know if this is true or not, so I sent it to you. In addition, there is a reminder, don't forget to go to the toilet!

44. I am speechless today. What should I do to love someone? I don't want to use self-harm to win your care and love; I don't want to use * * to get your temporary submission; I don't want to deceive your pure heart with sweet words; I just want you to know that I really love you!

45. You left quietly, just as you came gently. I waved like a bone, alas! Finally got rid of your greedy puppy.

Please walk ten meters ahead with your mobile phone, and then turn. There is an old man with a sign waiting for you at the corner. Let's go, remember that the sign says: stray dogs are accepted here.

47. Just after taking a shower, my mother looked at me and suddenly said, "My daughter looks like Sister Furong!" I petrified on the spot ... three seconds later, my mother said, "oh, no, it's hibiscus!"

48. Life is wonderful because of having friends. A smile, a greeting, a handshake and a hug are all the accumulation of wealth. How many friendship coins did you earn today? Exchange with happiness and sincerity, and all counterfeit money will be confiscated!

49. I have always wanted to write a poem, but only two people in the world know it. Now I'm laughing and a fool is watching.

50. Reporter: What are your hopes for this game? Player: When I take the ball over the opposing defender and rush to the goal area to prepare for shooting, I hope the opposing goalkeeper will suddenly cramp and fall to the ground.

5 1. Why did you stop to read this message? Will you die if you don't watch it? Can you study hard when you are so easily disturbed? Can you get ahead? Stand in the corner and reflect on yourself! The party and the people despise you!

52. Food name: Happiness brand orange juice. Ingredients: Happy Orange, Lucky Flesh, Healthy Sugar. Protect the environment: put it in your heart. Efficacy: Surrounded by happiness. Applicable people: my friends.

53. Your personality is gentle and elegant. Go to bed when you are full and fat. You advocate leisure and ruthlessness. You are naturally not tired if you don't love labor. You have a childlike innocence and never lose weight. You are perfect when the price of meat is not high.

Please stop watching, or you will regret it! Your SIM card has been locked, please contact your service provider. You won't believe me if I tell you not to look!

The reporter asked the high jump champion, "Do you know who jumps highest?" "My wife" replied the high jump champion. The reporter asked again: "When?" Answer: "when I didn't give her a bonus, she jumped higher than me!" "

56. Silent ghost, you haven't been doing well recently, and you haven't contacted me much. You have to apologize to me and invite me to dinner. Otherwise, I'll look at you on the phone number wall, write the marriage hotline in front and add a condition at the back. It's up to you.

57. Women should have a good appearance and be in tune with everyone! If a man wants money, he is doomed to everyone! Because of me, you have enemies with everyone! Want to know why? Don't envy others with my good friend by your side!

58. I cooked a pot of blessing nutrition soup for you. It contains no pigments and preservatives. This is all made of blessings. Shelf life: After eating, I wish you happiness and good luck forever!

59. Animal Revelation: Shrimp: The red day is a time of great sorrow. Tortoise: You can stretch and bend, but you can't stand out. Spider: You can sit back and relax, enjoy success and rely on that network. Crab: If you trample on it, you will foam at the mouth!

60. What are the three tallest animals in the world? Answer: pig, female wolf, wasp (Mount Everest). Lin Daiyu and Michele Monique Reis participated in the interview. If you were an examiner, who would you hire? Lin Daiyu, of course! (zero treatment).

6 1, yesterday I asked a mosquito to come to you, let it tell you that I miss you very much and let it kiss you for me, because now I can't get close to you! It will tell you how much I miss you! You asked me how much I love you? A pimple represents my heart!

62. Mountains and rivers can separate people, but you can't separate your heart, no matter where you go. My heart will always be with you.

63. Ding-ding, your friend ordered delicious food. Please go to the nearest bathroom and pull the toilet, do you hear? Is it nice? thank you

64, pay, just to make you comfortable. Give in, as long as you can feel happy. Lonely? Then let me guard for you! You don't have to be moved. These days, pig farmers are like this.

65. The moon asks the sun, marry me. The sun said: We are not from the same world. The moon asked the star again, and the star said, if you are round, you will feel insecure! The moon won't give up, ask the meteor, and the meteor answers, sample, can you catch up with me?

Remember today's laughter, this warm friendship and my sincere wishes. May the best things in the world always belong to you.

67. The weather is getting cold. Don't forget to add clothes when you go out. You'd better wear a hat to prevent your head from catching cold. If you don't have a hat at home, take some branches to help, knit a green hat and wear it, and go out often when you have nothing to do.

You, falling from the sky, fell on the back of my hand, watching you look around, confused eyes, a buzz made my heart cold ... In this big summer, there are mosquitoes again!

69. I love your eyes, just like the bright moon in the sky, one is the first day and the other is the fifteenth; I love your face, just like a big apple, with red Fuji and yellow banana; I like your hair, just like Yang Liuzhi, whether in autumn or in winter!

70. A flood happened in the south, and both sides of the Yangtze River are my home. The flood is merciless and affectionate. Can you send me a message? Snow is floating in the blue sky, and beautiful leather shoes leak. Your acquaintance with me is a myth. Please give me a reply.

7 1, one day, driving on the road, I saw a car sticker in front: novice, old pure! Then I wrote in the back seat of the car: killer, old heartless!

72. Oh, no, I almost missed you. My eyes turned blue in the middle of the night, I forgot to pay for things and didn't want to eat pork vermicelli. 1+ 1=3 is difficult to find. Zhao Benshan was regarded as Sun Nan, and I cried RMB into dollars!

73. There is a saying that I have been afraid to confess. I know I'm poor, but I've always had a crush on you. Now that I finally have money, I can proudly say: boss, I bought that pig head!

74. Fish psychologists claim that all fish are afraid of death. If you try to kill it, it will sweat and cry. You want to * * this conclusion, hurry home and try.

75. A mother is waiting for the bus at the station with her child in her arms. She cried when she heard people talking about the ugliness of her children. A gentleman was eating bananas and came over to comfort her and said, don't cry. Give this banana to your monkey.

76. You love me, or you don't love me, I will be there, and I will never give up. You bother me, or you don't bother me, I'm here, I'm stubborn. Marry me or let me marry you. In this world, there is one less bachelor and one less leftover woman.

77. One day I received a message from a strange number, which read: I wish your sister forever young and more and more beautiful! I answered doubtfully: Who are you? The other party immediately replied: Your sister!

78. President: The person who always wants to lay you off is called the president; Boss: The man with boss face is the boss; Manager: People who often ignore you are called managers; Supervisor: The person who is mainly responsible for all your affairs is called the supervisor.

79. When we were young, we didn't guess. I sing and you dance. I can sing 200 songs and you can dance 200 dances, so people affectionately call me 200 songs and you 200 dances.

80. Blow peach blossom red, willow green, blow away the accumulated fatigue in your heart, wake up frogs, blow back swallows and blow away the happy mood. In spring, I wish you health and safety.

8 1, the world record "Gisney", today's selection is cheeky, the pig is less than one centimeter, and the hippo is only five centimeters. In the end, the champion turned out to be you-five feet. Congratulations! Congratulations!

82. I heard that you have been very romantic recently? Happiness sends you a love letter, mixed with good luck. Success is infatuated with you, and even happiness throws herself at you. Hehe, don't pay attention to friends, forget old friends!

83. A supervisor likes to take hotel napkins home, so his wife made a pair of underwear with napkins printed on it: "Welcome! Telephone ... ",which says" Welcome to come again.

84. A man riding a bicycle spread out his handle and met a traffic policeman at a fork in the road. The traffic police shouted to him: good palm. The man replied happily: comrades have worked hard!

85. Because of you, I believe in fate; Because of you, I believe in fate; Everything is predestined, somehow pulling us. I really want to say ... what did I do in my last life?

86. There is no place to take the subway with my little daughter. I saw a MM, so I said to my daughter, Ask my sister, can I sit on your lap? The daughter asked the girl, Sister, can you let my father sit on your lap?

87. Greetings come uninvited and send a happy signal; Trouble knots, bad luck drives away the broom; Laugh off your big teeth, there is no antidote to happiness; If you want to be serious, I'll throw you a pile of money!

88. Starting from tomorrow, the municipal government has decided to eliminate all young people with mental retardation who are ugly and detrimental to the city appearance! Pack your things and go out for refuge. Don't say I informed you, remember! You're welcome.

89. There is a salty saying that I would rather tell Nong, but will there be another chance after the Chinese New Year: "Nong is really annoying. After discussing the drama, I am tired. " Ha ha! Happy Year of the Rooster!

90. I have a single-family villa with ultra-low carbon and super environmental protection. Spacious and bright, fully air-conditioned, fresh and noisy air. I'd like to invite you to stay on World Vitality Day today, but recently the wind is very strong and the thatch on the roof has been blown away. Let's take a rain check.

9 1. This is a magical message. Reading word for word can double your IQ, reading aloud can make you smarter, collecting and forwarding can get rid of ignorance, and replying with your heart will make you outstanding. Don't tell me you don't believe it. April Fool's Day can't fool you.

92. Two tigers are not allowed in one mountain, except one male and one female; Feelings have to take the initiative to pay, unless that person is occupied; Don't delete short messages at will unless the content is unreliable. In order to show my sincerity, I send my best wishes: I wish you always healthy and happy life!

93, you go! Find someone worthy of your love … I don't know you well enough. I know that some things can't be forced and some distances can't be crossed. Just like yesterday, I really can't believe you left with someone else for a bone.

94. Zhu Bajie burst into tears. Wukong asked what was going on. Bajie: I fell in love with a girl the other day, and I saw her at the meat case in the vegetable market today.

95. Manager: Yesterday, the TV station broadcasted an advertisement for the company to recruit warehouse guards. A Dai: There are many unemployed people now. Is the advertising effective? Manager: Effective! Advertisements are broadcast at noon and warehouses are stolen at night!

96. You always want us to describe you in one word, so we discussed it for a long time and thought about it for a long time, and decided to give you a word: "Jing"-that is, both horizontally and vertically mean "two", you know.

97. For men, women are like lighthouses in the harbor, which can lead men to a safe harbor and a group of dangerous reefs.

98. In the communication class, student: How can I tell someone something quickly? Professor: You can watch TV. Student: What if I want to be faster? Professor: You can try telling a woman.

99, it is said that men and women look at each other for less than 1 second, which is not good; Looking at each other for 2 seconds is a good feeling; If you look at each other for 3 seconds, you will feel dark; Looking at each other for 4 seconds is affectionate; And I, looking at you for five seconds, I ... I want to throw up!

100, there will always be such a girl around everyone. When people mention her, they always smile, give thumbs up and sincerely praise: this girl ... is really a man!

10 1. The general went to a recruiting station and asked: How about signing up today? The stationmaster replied: Sir, a person came to register yesterday and the day before yesterday. The number of applicants today is slightly lower than yesterday and the day before yesterday!

102, I think there are only two kinds of people in the world who can attract people, one is very beautiful and the other is you!

103, dear, whenever I lie in your warm arms, I wish time could stop at this happy moment, but I can't stop the passage of time. Now I have to leave you, dear, and go to sleep!

104, if your ears itch, it means I miss you. If your eyes itch, it means I want to see you. If your mouth itches, it means I want to kiss you. If you are itchy all over, forget it. It's time for a bath!

105, without you, the eyes are fast; Being with you, upset; Watching you every day, I can't sleep at night! You are not the kind of wish I long for. Well, life is really hard. What should I do with you-fake money!

You know, in this cold winter, I miss you all the time. I want to stay with you all the time, and I don't want to be apart for a second. Without you, I couldn't sleep at night and spent countless miserable nights. If I had a wish, I would say: I want to be with you this winter, stove!

107, you have changed, become so strange, and you are no longer the familiar one in your memory! It breaks my heart to look at your strange face! How can I change from a cute tadpole to a frog?

108, the internet time is too long, please pay attention to eye hygiene. Do as I say: Please turn your head 360 degrees, bite your ears with your teeth and aim your eyes 20 times.

109, I really hope to cooperate with you to do something big. We won't worry about eating and drinking, and we can travel around the world. I think with your charm, you will earn more than me. Promise me, okay? Let's get up and beg tomorrow!

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1 1 1, lighting a fire is my thoughts and hope for you. Your figure is my happy memory. Without your minutes, my heart is haggard. Don't get me wrong, just want to light a cigarette.

1 12, the little panda was criticized by teacher sika deer on the first day of school. The teacher said that children should go to bed early at night, how can they come to school with such big dark circles!

1 13, I dreamed of you last night. With a thick red envelope in one hand and a kitchen knife in the other, you said to me, come on, get a red envelope for your fortune-telling or I'll move the knife! I will send you a message as soon as I wake up. Congratulations on getting the red envelope!

1 14, be a pair of mice in the afterlife! Silly love, plain life, clusters of snuggling, silly together, happy to beat you.

1 15, I dreamed of you last night: we walked by the river and snuggled up to each other. You looked up at my eyes and spit out three words affectionately ... woof woof woof.

1 16, I just sent a message to Shi: I wish the most beautiful woman in the world happy every day. Stone is guilty, and transferred to the story of Dioxin, Dioxin's story is guilty, and transferred to Venus, Venus was transferred to you. If I had known this, I would have sent it directly to you!