Tell super funny jokes at will

Money is not the problem, the problem is no money!

Colleagues may be nervous when they meet customers. As soon as they opened their mouths, they said, "Hello, Mr. Liu. May I know your name? " Sweat ~ ~ ~ ~

A female classmate is darker and her boyfriend is whiter. One day, the poison queen in the dormitory suddenly said to her, "You can't do this, you will have zebras."

Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compete with you.

I am not a casual person. I am not a casual person.

My big name is God, my small name is Jesus, my English name is God, and my dharma name is Tathagata. ...

You can't hang yourself from a tree. Try to die several times in several nearby trees.

A tree will die if it is not skinned; People are shameless and invincible in the world.

The farmer's three punches hurt a little.

Not afraid of enemies like tigers, but afraid of teammates like pigs.

Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

Rats are looking for cats all over the street with knives.

Only when there is a long queue at the railway station can we truly realize that we are "descendants of the dragon".

Lie down where you fell.

Tigers don't show off. You think I'm HELLO KITTY!

Donkeys can't stop thinking ~ 1. When you were walking on the road, a bitch jumped on you, bit off a piece of meat from your foot and swallowed it quickly. When you put out your foot to kick it, the dog said with tears: You fight, anyway, I already have your flesh and blood in my stomach!

2, the long road of life, who is not bad! Family to take care of, lovers to get along! There is a cook at home, a kind-hearted person outside, a nice table and a missing person in the distance! Keep two, keep one, develop three, four, five, six, seven!

A friend asked the bat how he married a mouse. The bat has tears in his eyes, which is meaningful: alas! That day, he ate Brother Wei, with strong firepower, and jumped on the ceiling to let him succeed.

A beautiful woman found that lipstick was too heavy, wiped it with a wet paper towel and threw it on the road. An old man picked it up, looked at it for a long time and suddenly woke up. He caught up and said, girl, this ultra-thin one is easy to fall off!

5. There is a mountain man who has never seen the world. One day, he went to the park in the city and saw a man doing push-ups. He doesn't know what to do. He turned around a few times and didn't understand: why is there no one down there, just trying?

6. Boyfriend and girlfriend sleep in a room, and the woman draws a clear line and says, "Those who cross the border are birds and beasts." Woke up and found that the man really didn't cross the line. The woman slapped the man hard: "You are worse than an animal."

7. The next day, the men and women sharing the same room drew a warning line. The man took the last lesson and planned to cross the line late at night, but he didn't succeed because of nervousness. After dawn, the woman slapped the man and said, "I didn't expect you to be worse than birds and animals."

8. Kangaroos and frogs went to fuck chickens. The kangaroo finished it with three strokes and two strokes, and only listened to the frog next door all night. One, two, three. Hey! I envy the package sd mouse. The next day, the kangaroo said, "Wow! ~ ~ Brother Frog, you are great! . "The frog said," Cao, * * didn't jump into bed all night! ~~"

9. The little girl always shows off her new toys to the little boy. The little boy had no choice but to take off his pants and say, you will never have this! The girl also took off her pants and said, my mother said that as long as you have this, you can have as many things as you want!

10, 20 years ago, dad held you waiting for the bus. Everyone laughed at the ugly child, and dad cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Don't cry, big brother, give the monkey a banana!" " ! Poor thing, I'm so hungry that I have no hair. "

1 1. One day, on a crowded bus, a conversation went like this: a standing pregnant woman said to a man sitting next to him, "Don't you know I'm pregnant?" (I want him to give up his seat ...) I saw the man nervously say, "The child is not mine! 』

12, don't panic when you meet a dog on the road. Fight bravely. There will only be three results: first, you win, you are not just an animal; Second, if you lose, you are worse than an animal. Third, you're tied up. You're an animal.

13, eunuch's most annoying song: leaving roots; Eunuch's most annoying script: a plum scissors; Eunuch's most annoying advertising words: I have I can; Eunuch's most annoying idiom: unprecedented; Eunuch's favorite thing to do: laugh while reading text messages.

Sister Furong got a magic mirror. She was so happy that she came to the mirror at once! Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most beautiful woman in the world?

Mirror: Not you anyway.

Sister Furong: Then who is more beautiful than me in this world?

Magic mirror: Zhen Zi, Zhang Fei, Zhao Benshan, Einstein. ...

Sister Furong beat the mirror fat in a rage! Mirror mirror, tell me, who is the most beautiful woman in the world?

Mirror: It should be you!

Sister Furong: Who is the second beauty?

Magic mirror: Zhen Zi, Zhang Fei, Zhao Benshan, Einstein. ...

Sister Furong got angry again and beat the mirror fat! Ask the magic mirror: When is my seductive and sexy face the best?

The magic mirror snapped into an astronomical telescope. "It's best when you can't see anything clearly!"

Sister Furong: Mirror Mirror, tell me, when is my devil-like figure the most temperament?

The mirror "snapped" into a mirror. "The body is most temperamental when it is deformed!"

Sister Furong: Mirror Mirror, tell me, which part of my body can burn a man with a nosebleed?

Mirror: fist!

Sister Furong was so angry that she gave the mirror a fat beating. "Are you a magic mirror or not, fake?"

Magic mirror: I used to be a magic mirror, but after meeting you, I became a magic mirror!