Give a joke story that can be told in class.

There was a kind young man who asked a beggar for 5 yuan every time he crossed the overpass. One day, he asked him why he didn't give it to beggars The young man replied that he was going to get married, so he was short of money now. The beggar said angrily, ok, you take my money to find your wife!

When people form inertia expectations for a person's behavior, if this person's behavior changes, it is difficult for people to accept this change.

Debt management

One day, the professor and some friends went to the new restaurant next to the school for dinner. The sign on the table in the restaurant said that they would have a 20% discount on their meal, so they ate, and settled the bill 190 yuan. The waiter asked them to pay 190 yuan, and they were surprised. Didn't they say 20% discount? At the bottom of the sign was written a line of small print: From 200 yuan. So I ate another dish of 10 yuan, ***200 yuan, and then paid 160 yuan. I underpaid 30 yuan and ate an extra dish 10 yuan.

Reading English as a child should be given to interested students and become the president;

Those who study hard to change history become politicians;

People who read causality become philosophers;

Read it as a vegetable seller washed in the sewer;

And I accidentally read that I should be exhausted and now I am an accountant. ...

There is an accountant in charge. The first thing he does when he goes to work every day is ......

Open the first drawer on the right of his seat and have a look before closing it. .......

Sometimes at work, I will open the drawer and take another look. ......

Many colleagues have noticed ... and are curious ... but are afraid to ask. ......

Finally ... the director is retiring. .......

Everyone held a farewell party for him. .........

Then ... go to the director's seat and open that drawer. .........

It says, "Debit is on the left and credit is on the right."

When someone paid their salary, they found that a dollar was missing. He flew into a rage and questioned the accountant.

The accountant said, "I gave you an extra dollar last month. Are you angry?"

The man snapped, "the occasional mistake is completely understandable, but I can't stand this second mistake!" " "

An accountant was insomnia. He went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, I can't sleep at night!" " "

The doctor said, "Have you ever tried counting sheep?"

Accountant: "Ah! This is the problem. I made a mistake when counting sheep. It took me three hours to find this mistake. "

A company wants to recruit an accountant, and Lao Wang Li recommended his wife.

The director asked, "How can you prove that your wife is qualified for this job? 」

Lao Wang said: "whenever we quarrel, she remembers all the old accounts and trivial things clearly, without any omission."

Engineers and accountants

Three engineers and three accountants went to a meeting in other places. When they got on the train, three engineers bought three tickets, but three accountants only bought one ticket. Engineers are puzzled. The accountant said, "You will know when you get on the train." As soon as the train started, three accountants squeezed into a toilet. The conductor began to check in and finally went outside the toilet. She knocked at the door and said, "Check the tickets". Then the door opened a small crack and a ticket was handed out from it. After the meeting in other places, the engineer came back and thought the accounting method was very good, so he only bought a ticket. This time, the accountants didn't buy any tickets, and the engineers were puzzled. The accountants still said, "You will understand when you get on the bus." After getting on the bus, three engineers squeezed into a toilet and three accountants squeezed into the toilet on the other side of the carriage. Shortly after the train started, an accountant came out of the toilet and went outside the engineer's toilet. He knocked on the door and said, "Check in".

After receiving the newly printed business card, a financial professional consultant angrily called the printing house to protest: "What the hell are you doing? My business card is printed with' professional door', and there is one less mouth! "

"Sorry, sorry, we'll reprint it for you right away!"

A few days later, the reprinted business card arrived. ...

Printed with the title: professional nursing door!

Destiny is-non-operating income; I am-fixed assets; Life is-continuous management; Self-examination/introspection

Yes-internal inventory; Love is an intangible asset; Lovers are paid-in capital; Children are-accounts payable; Missing is-

Log; The quarrel is-bad debt provision; Marriage is-consolidated statements; Secret love is a bad debt that can't be recovered; The wrong love is-high.

Estimated net profit; This disease is-business loss; Age is-accumulated depreciation; Tears are-owners' rights and interests; Human feelings are

He should pay; The misunderstanding is-input error; Explanation Yes-Correct the entry; Memory is-financial analysis; Breaking up is-bankruptcy

Liquidation; Compound Yes-Reverses the entry; Remarriage is-asset reorganization; Reading is a long-term investment; Buying clothes is-packaging fee.

; Unforgettable old feelings are-deferred assets; Finding a lover is a non-operating expense; Just go to the hospital-maintenance costs are all blood and money.

Business institute, accounting hardships, must be in place all day long, all day long at the desk tired.

I am more tired than a cow from morning till night. I dare not be wrong in my fart. Working overtime on holidays, I dare not leave my post for a moment. At weekends,

Endless meetings, tax inspections make people collapse, they don't understand society every day, they have to pay taxes when their wages are not high, and their spine is proliferating.

Suffer every day, abandon your family and career, and live up to your elders. When we got home, we had to be subservient to Nuo Nuo and feel ashamed of ourselves, and the people still called us.

Bribery, so chaotic in youth, such a life is really fearless! Hey, being an accountant is really tiring! Don't be too tired at the end of the year. Take care of yourself.

I want to dedicate this article to all accountants in the world.

A joke that happened in the bank.

One day, a customer rushed to the counter and said, "Hello, my card swallowed your ATM."

2. once, a customer couldn't use ATM, and the lobby manager taught him to use it. After putting the card into the ATM, the lobby manager said to the customer, please enter the password here ... but the customer lowered his head and whispered his six-digit withdrawal password to the computer screen. The customer listened to "enter the password" as "tell the password" ...

3. After saving for a long time, I suddenly came out to be the lobby manager. When online banking bought funds for customers, I pointed to the keyboard to let customers enter their passwords, but a sentence popped up: "Please sign here."

4. Once I answered my mobile phone, it was my brother who habitually said "Hello, China Merchants Bank." The younger brother was stunned first, and then replied: "Hello, I am recruiting his younger brother.

5. A customer comes to handle business. Colleague Xiao Wang: "Hello, what do you do?" Customer: "Oh, I'll save a date of death (lump sum)!" " Xiao Wang: How long have you been dead? "Customer:" Well, a year's death! "

6. Before the customer inputs the withdrawal amount, there will be a prompt on the ATM screen of a bank to the effect that this machine can provide you with RMB 100 yuan and 50 yuan face value cash. Please enter the amount and press OK. One day, a customer asked at the counter to withdraw 2000 yuan by card. The manager suggested that he could also get it from the ATM outside the window. The customer shook his head firmly: "No! Your machine is so backward that you can only get 100 yuan at a time. Last time I took 1500, I took 15 times ... "

7. One day, a customer in Weiyi Wang said, "Please put your card away." After reading it again, I found that the zipper of the customer's handbag was not pulled properly. He confessed, "Please pull it up." The customer immediately lowered his head and colleagues around him laughed.

8. A customer came to the counter with a cash check to withdraw cash. I said, "please hang a sheep's head in front of the digital amount, thank you!" " Sure enough, the customer wrote a check in front of the counter for more than 5 minutes, and the customer handed the check out of the counter with a serious face. Oh, my God, that's great! The customer drew a sheep's head before the amount, and suddenly we were all overjoyed and marveled at his painting skills.

9. One day, a lovely old man walked into the business hall. The old man made a savings card, and I asked him to enter the withdrawal password. We started a profound and interesting conversation: "Is the password a secret code?"

"yes"

The old man said, "Apple!" To the password input device.

I didn't react, so I emphasized that the password was six digits.

The old man said six words into the password input device, "Apple, apple, apple! ! "