Cold joke Chinese characters

There is a male deer, walking faster and faster, and finally becomes a road (deer) ~! ! ! !

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There is a matchstick. I suddenly felt itchy when I was walking, so I scratched and caught fire with too much force. ......

Go to the hospital for emergency treatment, and when you come out, you will become a cotton swab. ...

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A penguin was bored, so he pulled out his own hair to kill time, and finally pulled out the last hair. At this time, it suddenly said: Oh, it's so cold ~

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Two bananas are walking in the street in tandem. The first one suddenly said, it's so hot. I tried to take off my coat, and then the last one slipped.

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A little penguin asked his grandmother: Grandma ~ ~ ~ Am I a penguin?

Grandma said: Yes, of course you are a penguin.

Then he went to ask his father: Dad ~ ~ Am I a penguin?

Dad said: Of course, you are a penguin.

Penguin: But I feel so cold. ....

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Once upon a time, there was a hide-and-seek club whose leader had not been found.

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Once upon a time, there was a lamb. One day, he went out to play and met a wolf.

The wolf said, "I will eat you!" " ! ! "

Guess what?

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As a result, the wolf ate the lamb.

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Small white+small white =?

Answer: Little White Rabbit Xiaobaier

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Is jiaozi a boy or a girl?

Answer the boy because jiaozi has a foreskin.

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There is an old family that sells "Forget the Year Water" drinks. What's his name?

The answer is "Aha". Aha ~ give me a cup of forgetful water.

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Q: A rabbit races with a fast tortoise. Guess who won?

A: Rabbit ~ ~

Q: Wrong ~! It's a turtle. As mentioned earlier, it's a fast turtle. Run fast ~ ~

Q: The rabbit doesn't want to compete with a turtle wearing sunglasses. Who will win this time?

A: Mm-hmm. Tuziba

Q: Wrong ~ ~! The tortoise took off her sunglasses, too! It's the fastest turtle again.

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Question: What are cloth and paper afraid of?

A: cloth is afraid of 10 thousand, paper is afraid of one thousand.

Reason: not (cloth) afraid of 10 thousand, just (paper) afraid of one thousand.

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A lumberjack applied for a job.

Go to the Woods ahead and see ... see how many trees you can saw in a minute. .....

In a minute. ....

Foreman: Wow ... 20 trees a minute ... amazing ... where did you work before?

Worker: Sahara forest ......

Foreman: Never heard of it ... I only heard of the Sahara Desert. ......

Worker: yes ... then I changed my name!

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Wife: Before I married you, I was really blind and stepped in shit.

Husband: I was really blind enough to step on shit before I married you.

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Shit: I was lying there before you two stepped on me. ..

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One day, Xiao Fang waited at the intersection for Xiao Ye to pick him up by motorcycle.

Before long, a motorcycle stopped in front of Xiao Fang, and Xiao Fang immediately jumped into the back seat:

(slamming his helmet) "Why is it so late? It's been over 30 minutes! 」

The knight opened the helmet cover and said, "Miss, I'm here to ask for directions. Please don't hit anyone. "

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The "towel" said to the "coin": You will be worth a hundred times if you wear a doctor's hat.

The "minister" said to the "giant": My area is the same as yours, but I have three rooms and two halls.

Jing said to Pin: Didn't you decorate your house?

"Zi" said to "Mu": Did your company lay off staff?

"Doing" says to "doing": Balance is the last word.

"Bing" said to "Qiu": You see how cruel the war is, and both legs are blown up.

"Zhan" said to "Dian": Did you buy a car?

"He" said to "Dan": Timid, please hire a bodyguard?

Yue said to Yue: It's time to lose weight.

"Fork" said to "you": When is the whole time? What is the mole on your face?

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Once upon a time, a man fished and caught a squid.

Squid begged him: let me go, don't bake me to eat.

The man said, well, let me question you.

Squid said happily, cuff it!

Then the man roasted the squid. ..

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One day mung beans committed suicide, jumped down from the fifth floor, shed a lot of blood and became red beans; It has been squeezed dry and turned into soybeans; The wound was scarred and finally turned into black beans.

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There are five eggs in the refrigerator. The first said to the second: Hey ~ Look ~ The fifth egg has Mao Mao ~ ~ It's terrible ~!

The second said to the third: Hey ~ Look ~ The fifth egg has Mao Mao ~ ~ It's terrible, it's terrible ~!

The third said to the fourth: Hey ~ Look ~ The fifth egg has Mao Mao. ...

The fifth egg heard it: get out ~! Lao zi is kiwi fruit ~! ! !

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When do you want reunification? When buying instant noodles

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Asun and appa have nothing to talk about, telling each other that time waits for no man.

A song: "Recalling childhood, the happiest thing is Children's Day."

Apa: "Youth Day is in ten years."

A song: "Father's Day is in ten years."

Apa: "It will be the days of the elderly in a few decades."

A song: "In a few decades."

Appa: ". Tomb-Sweeping Day. "

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We all know that girls come every month and call those who come "good friends", but what about you?

Do children know why they call it that?

→ Isn't it very vivid to separate the word "good friend"? Women have it every month!

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Ming Dow Jr.: "Kang, let me ask you something." A shark ate a mung bean. What did it become? 」

Kang said, "I don't know. What is the answer? 」

Xiao Ming said, "The answer is' green bean paste (mung bean shark)'. Oh, you are so stupid! 」

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One day, Xiao Qiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?"

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A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak meet in the street. Why don't they say hello (assuming they can talk)?

because ....................

because ........................

Because they are strangers ~ ~! Ha ha laugh