The discovery of the last question on page 62 of sixth grade mathematics "Hands on"

The weird dad

Dad: “Look what I bought you?”

The son rushed over happily and said: “It’s my favorite food. Why is there an empty box of biscuits?"

Dad: "Son, I was afraid that you would get angry, so I ate it myself."

49,000

Me. I'm so lucky. Fortunately, she wasn't really angry

My wife went to work, and I went to my buddy's house to play for a while. He went to pour me tea, and I saw that his bed was quite good, and it shook when I sat on it. After a few clicks, I found a bra. When I thought about his wife's figure, I felt a little sexual, stuffed it into my pocket, and went to pick up my wife.

Unexpectedly, she found out. She looked at me with resentment. When I was thinking of an excuse, my wife said: Next time I hide my bra, you won’t touch it.

I'm so lucky, luckily she wasn't really angry!

49,000

How lonely it is

Today I received a sales call, and the other party said: "Hello, sir, can I interrupt you for a minute?" Time?”

I said: “No! At least ten minutes, no one has called me for a long time”

49,000

That’s it. Can't act like a man

The teacher asked Xiao Ming to get up and answer questions in class, hoping to strengthen his courage.

Xiao Ming said weakly:. . . Teacher me. . . I won't. . .

The teacher said: Can't you act like a man?

Xiao Ming was thoughtful. . . Finally, Xiao Ming slammed the table angrily and shouted, "I can't do that!"

49,000

When a man confronts a woman, he needs to be strategic in order to touch her heart and change her mind

When a man confronts a woman, he must use strategies to touch her heart and change her mind.

For example, I was once punished to kneel on the washboard. As soon as I knelt down, I remembered something and immediately said to my wife: "Honey, you bought these pants. I feel so bad when I kneel down." "

She was greatly moved when she heard that, and immediately helped me up and said, "Honey, get up quickly and put on the one your mother bought."

49,000

After several episodes of severe domestic violence, my wife no longer dares to even look at me.

After several episodes of severe domestic violence, my wife no longer dares to even look at me. As soon as she looked at me, I sat down on the ground and cried.

49,000

Uncle, you are so smart

A stupid thief backed a stolen truck out of the garage and was stopped by an old man from the countryside. Call the police immediately. The thief was puzzled and asked the uncle, how did you know the car was stolen? The uncle replied: As soon as you got in the car, the car automatically alarmed. The police asked: How did you report it? The uncle replied: Please pay attention, car theft! Please pay attention, car theft!

49,000

Teacher, this is not good

Our junior high school chemistry teacher was a top performer. At that time, he would hit someone on the chest. Then there was a girl in our class who was very handsome. When the girl made a mistake, the chemistry teacher punched someone in the chest. Our whole class was shocked. The teacher was also confused and silently asked the girl, are you a woman? The girl nodded, and our whole class burst out laughing...

49,000

Damn, isn’t it about making money if you are motivated?

Some girls like to say: “I don’t care if a man has money, I only care if he is motivated.

”

Holy crap, isn’t it about making money?

49,000

Dad, listen to my explanation

I just went to the toilet, and there was a guy squatting next door. He was about to light a cigarette. I also took out a lighter and politely said to the guy next door: Guys next door, do you want to smoke?

The guy next door didn’t say anything and handed it over. I came here with a cigarette and came out after using the restroom. The guy had just opened the door...

Me: Dad, why is it you...

I won’t say anything anymore, I’m writing a letter of guarantee!

49,000

My position in the family is so stable

In the morning, my wife said to me: "Husband, you always talk in your sleep. Go to the hospital for a check-up." For a moment? ”

I immediately refused after hearing this. How could I go to the hospital for treatment? If cured, my only right to speak at home would be gone.

49,000

The gap between the rich and the poor is so big

The rich man eats with the goddess, the rich man eats very hard, the goddess: you are so cute when you eat

The diaosi eats with the goddess, the diaosi eats. Very fierce, goddess: You have never eaten in your life!

49,000

Double Ninth Festival is a gay day

On the Double Ninth Festival, my roommate Said: "Let's go watch a movie together? ”

I shook my head quickly and said: “No, no!” "

The roommate asked strangely: "Why, don't we usually go to see it together? ”

I said: “It’s usually possible, but today it’s definitely not possible!” Because there is a saying on the Internet that Double Ninth Festival is a gay day. If two men travel on this day, they will be considered gay! ”

The roommate said: “Isn’t the Double Ninth Festival a Senior Citizen’s Day? Why did it become a Gay Day?” "

I explained: "Yin is female, male is yang, Double Ninth Festival means two men..."

My roommate interrupted: "This explanation is a bit far-fetched. Bar? ”

I continued: “It’s not far-fetched at all, otherwise, why would we have to taste chrysanthemums on the Double Ninth Festival!” ”

Roommate:...

49,000

Beauty, why do I feel so hurt in my heart when I see you for the first time?

On the bus, I saw a guy with a red face, staring at a beautiful woman for almost 10 minutes.

The guy finally said: "Beauty, why am I the first?" The first time I saw you, I felt so much pain in my heart. It hurt so much. It was such a real feeling, it was suffocating! "

Beauty: "Speak in human terms. "

"You stepped on my feet. "Brother roared.

49,000

Does he have any relationship with you?

I was on the bus today, and a couple came up and hugged a teddy.

The driver said: You can’t bring a dog on board.

One of the girls: He is not a dog, we treat him as a son.

The driver was about to speak. Let me ask: Have you ever had a paternity test?

49,000

A woman’s heart is in trouble

I went out with my girlfriend once, and her clothes were a little thin. I asked if I should put on some clothes. It’s cold at night, but my girlfriend said it wasn’t cold at all. I was passing by the commercial street and she said: It’s a bit cold, so why don’t I buy some clothes? I know the clothes in that store in front of me are pretty good...

49,000

Am I too smart?

According to my observations in the past half month, the girl on the opposite floor will do it every night at 9:38 Minutes, take off your clothes and take a shower on time, the time will basically not exceed 30 seconds.

This means that I don’t need to waste too much time. As long as I can ensure that I stay in front of the window at about 9:30 in the evening, I can set the time on my watch!

49,000

Is this still my biological mother?

Me: "Mom! I was touched on the thigh by a lewd man when I was just taking the subway!"

p>

Mom: "Then your leg hair didn't prick the gangster's hand, right?"

Me: "..."

49,000

What is the way of Confucius and Mencius

"What is the way of kingship?"

"Not good? Beat him"

"What is domineering?"

"Be good and beat him too."

"What is the way of Confucius and Mencius?"

"Before you hit him, tell him."

49,000

It just so happens that you two are together

Today I met a female classmate from college whom I haven’t seen for many years. I saw that she was pregnant with her baby and had a big belly.

I couldn’t help but sigh: "I really envy you. After so many years since graduation, you are about to have a baby, but I am still looking for a partner..."

After hearing this, she also sighed and said: I said: "Hey... what are you envious of! I'm looking for it too!"

49,000

Now I am even more sure that I paid the phone bill to give it as a gift

When I was a child, my parents had no time to take care of me. My grandparents always looked after me and took me to kindergarten every day.

As a result, no one came to pick me up after school one day. I hugged the big iron gate of the kindergarten and sat there until it was almost dark.

Suddenly I saw my parents walking here. My mother pointed at me and said to my father: "Look at this child, he really looks like our son!"

49,000

Use one sentence to prove that you are a bad student

Teacher: "Use one sentence to prove that you are a bad student."

Xiao Ming: "Just look at my grade ranking and you will know how many People take exams..."

49,000

It feels like something is wrong

I have been married for 8 years. I have always rushed to do the laundry, and my wife always compliments me when I meet everyone. I am diligent, and I secretly rejoice because my wife doesn’t know that every time I do the laundry, I keep the money she puts in my pocket as my own, and I get more or less results every time... But recently I feel a little bit Something is wrong, it has been 8 years and I have always had money, but why has it never exceeded 50 cents?

49,000

I was scared to death, I was actually fooled

An old man went to the bank to withdraw money, walked directly to the window, and the security guard came over and said : "Uncle, ring the number." Uncle: "What?" Security guard: "Press the number." The uncle thought to himself, it is indeed a big bank. To withdraw money, you need a password, so he whispered to the security guard: "The king of heaven covers the tiger of the earth." ." The security guard reluctantly helped the old man press out a queue ticket. The old man thought to himself: I'm so scared that I was fooled.

49,000

Finally I know how scary it is to ride a roller coaster

Finally I know how scary it is to ride a roller coaster, braving the hail of bullets and spitting stars while riding it , I came down and found that there was an extra piece of chewing gum in my mouth. This is not my Yida! !

49,000

It’s not about the amount of money

It’s not about the amount of money. If colleagues are too difficult to get along with, it will really make people not want to work there. Keep this company going. I know this very well, because since I came to the company, many people have resigned.

Can I still have a pleasant walk?

After visiting the park, my wife took my hand and left...

Husband: What are you pulling? There are so many Man, isn’t it ugly?

The wife did not say anything, but pointed to the sign on the roadside. The husband looked at it and said: Damn, please take away the garbage...

15

Girls are really good. It’s not easy

It’s not easy for girls.

Being slovenly is a "macho", dressing up is a "peripheral girl", smiling is a "green tea watch", shedding tears is a "princess disease", defending morality is a "white lotus", thinking in advance is a "scheming bitch", nest. At home, she is a "nerdy girl", when she goes out for a walk she is a "nightclub girl", if she has been single for a long time she is an "old maid", if she has a different boyfriend, she is a "black fungus"... There is simply no way out!

15

The New Three-Character Classic

Three Questions from the Security Guard: Who are you, where are you from, and where are you going? Three questions in the canteen: Which one do you want, how much do you want, and do you want it? Three questions for self-study: Is there anyone who knows how to do it? Do you understand? Three Questions of Love: Who are you, who is he, and who am I? Leaders ask three questions: What do you think, what do you do, and what do you do? Three questions for dinner: What to eat, who to eat with, and where to eat?

15

I am lucky to be alive

Drinking with my buddy, we were both a little drunk. When we went back, my buddy insisted on driving by himself, saying No problem. He suddenly stopped on the way and looked around. I asked him confused: "What's wrong? Can't find the direction?"

"No, it's not that bad, I just can't find the steering wheel." ." replied the brother.

15

If you don’t force yourself, you will never know how courageous you are

If you don’t force yourself, you will never know how courageous you are. Now I dare to stand and My girlfriend spoke.

15

My girlfriend quarreled with me and asked me to leave a girl

Colleague: Did you quarrel with your girlfriend?

Me: Well, he asked me to leave a woman.

Colleague: What did you say?

Me: I won’t leave.

Colleague: You are going to make your girlfriend mad!

Me: Do you want me to make my mother mad? Damn it!

15

Don’t think that if you go to your space or Weibo after a breakup, you will think that people still can’t forget you.

Don’t think that if you go to your space after a breakup, Or after just two glances at Weibo, you will think that people have not forgotten you and still care about you. Netizens said: After using the toilet, you have to look back at the toilet.

15

Holy shit. . Exposed

My wife suddenly asked me: What am I to you?

Brother thought about it carefully and said in the spirit of romanticism: Your cigarettes and mine will be uncomfortable if you don’t smoke them for a day.

I thought she would be very happy, but she said: Why haven’t you quit yet? Do you want to die?

Holy shit. . Exposed. . .

15

Fortunately, he was not discovered

After not staring at him for a few minutes, this unlucky kid squeezed out most of his wife’s expensive skin care lotion, just to save his life. The two of them lost their lives and poured in mineral water. After taking a shower in the evening, I watched my wife slapping her face anxiously in bed, and my wife uttered a few words: "This stuff is so good, it is absorbed faster and faster!"

15

Xiao Ming, what do you think about cheating in exams

Principal: Xiao Ming, what do you think about cheating in exams?

Xiao Ming: Just like your wife being pregnant with someone else’s child, it’s technically a success, but you don’t advocate this approach.

1. One day, Aries and a lion walked into the restaurant.

What did the boss say you wanted? The sheep said: 'A set meal. Thanks. ’

The boss asked again: ‘Isn’t your lion hungry? ’

The sheep said: ‘No. THANKS’

The boss didn’t give up and asked again: Do you really not want it? ’

Sheep said yes

The boss was a little reluctant and asked: ‘If you think about it again, do you really want it?

The sheep roared impatiently: Do you think I can still be here if it is hungry?

2. A woman disguised herself as a man to join the army. She got her period on the battlefield. The company commander saw it and asked her to be carried away on a stretcher. She said she was fine. The company commander became anxious and took off her pants and said: "What's okay? JB exploded and you said it's okay?!"

3. One night, my mother coaxed her 10-year-old son to go to his room to sleep alone. The little guy just wanted his mother to accompany him. The helpless mother said, "Are you ashamed? For such a big man, you still need your mother to sleep with you!"

"Dad, isn't he even bigger now and still wants you to sleep with him every day!" The son said confidently explain.

4. When I saw her shy face and cute expression, I couldn't help but feel excited, and asked in a low voice: "You... do you really like me?" She lowered her head: "Guess!" I like it~" Her face turned redder and her head lowered, "Guess again!"

5. In the bus, a standing pregnant woman said to the man sitting next to her: You don't know me. Are you pregnant? I saw the man saying nervously: "The child is not mine!!"

6. A man was about to jump off a building, and his wife shouted: My dear, don't be impulsive, we still have a long way to go! After hearing this, the man jumped down. The police said: "You really shouldn't threaten him like this!!"

7. The child is thinking about "heredity and environment" issues. The mother interjected: "This question is very simple. Everyone knows that if a child is like his father, it is genetic; if he is like his neighbors, it is environment."

8. A couple goes to register for marriage. "Have you had a premarital checkup?" "I checked, his house and car are all intact." "I mean go to the hospital." The young woman blushed and replied in a low voice: "Checked, it's a boy."

9. Xiao Di took swimming lessons for the first time. An hour later, she said to the coach: "I think this is the end of today's practice?" "Why?" "I really can't drink anymore. ."

10. After Tang Monk drove away Wukong, he encountered a monster again. He had to recite a tight spell to call Wukong back to save his life. Soon a voice came from the air: Sorry, the user you called is not in the service area, please. Try again later.

11. A gorilla came to the zoo. It was so ugly that all the tourists vomited. One day I went and I vomited; another day you went and the orangutan vomited.

12. In the Chinese class, the teacher asked a sleeping classmate to answer a question. The classmate was confused and couldn't say anything... The teacher said: "Can you do it? If you don't know it, just say it!" "The classmate: "Squeak."

13. The child stole the parrot raised in the brothel home. As soon as he entered the door, the parrot screamed: Moving! When he saw his mother, he yelled again: The boss has changed too! When he saw his sister, he shouted again: "The lady has changed too!" When he saw his father, he yelled again: We are still a regular customer!

14. The mouse was very depressed when he didn’t have a girlfriend. Finally, a bat agreed to marry him, and the mouse was very happy. Others laughed at his lack of vision. Mouse: What do you know? She is a stewardess after all.

15. Xiao Zhiruo: Mom, why did the aunt who distributed the medicine wear a mask?

Mom: The medicine I gave you is delicious, but the dean is afraid that they will take it secretly.

Xiao Zhiruo: Wearing masks on those uncles who hold knives is to prevent them from having dinner together, right?

16. A person who applied for a driver’s license lost his job after he went to get a marriage certificate because he habitually asked: “Are you doing this for entertainment or business?”

17. A girl is so ugly that she cannot marry and hopes to be abducted. My dream finally came true, but I couldn’t sell it for half a month. The kidnappers sent her back, but she refused to get out of the car. The kidnappers gritted their teeth and stamped their feet: Let's go, we don't want the car anymore! ! !

18.Twenty years ago, when your father was holding you while waiting for the bus, everyone laughed at your child for looking ugly, and your father cried. An old man selling bananas patted my father and said, "Brother, stop crying. Give the monkey a banana to eat! It's so pitiful. He's so hungry that he has no hair left."