A joke book read by the ancients-A Brief Introduction to Laughing in the Forest (Volume 12) I.

A man came back from the capital and boasted that he had seen the emperor. Or ask: "What is the scene of Timon?" A: "Four-poster archway, golden book' royal family'. There is a plaque in the gate, and the golden book is' the best in the world'. The couplets on both sides are: the sun, the moon and the sky, and the mountains and rivers are magnificent. " Ask again: "How does the emperor dress?" He said, "Wearing a jade gauze hat is magnificent." The questioner said, "It's obviously a lie. I dressed in gold and ran to the blue sea. How can I bow my head? " The man said, "Bah! You are a man who is not afraid of death, and the emperor will bow to that man. "

A pair of father and son, servants, specialize in boasting, often in the name of the court. One day, a friend came to visit, and his father went out to meet his eldest son and said, "Father, the king has driven away." When asked about your mother, the second son said, "The queen is having a party in the back garden." A friend saw him talking arrogantly, so he excused himself and left and met his father on the way. He told him what his son said, and his father said, "Who said that?" The servant said at the back, "This is what the prince and the illegitimate child said." The more annoyed his friend is, the more he wrings his servant and beats him. His father quickly persuaded him, "Your family is bored, for my sake."

When an official is sitting in the classroom, I occasionally fart and say the word "finished". Officials don't know I mistakenly thought that I was rewarding officials, hoping to win a good impression. I knelt down and said, "thank you for your reward!" "

Those who teach children to use the word "big" will write the word "too" the next day and ask them. The son still said, "big characters." Because of teaching, he said, "A little more Chinese is the word of Taigong." Write the word "dog" and ask him tomorrow, and his son will say, "Prince of Taigong." The teacher said, "At this time, why is it too elegant?" The son immediately replied, "If you say so, you are great grandfather."

There are also people who sell beds. The husband goes out one day and the wife guards the shop. A person came to buy a bed, the price was low, the money was low, and the value was disputed for a long time, so he reluctantly sold it. The next day, when she came back to buy a sofa, the woman said, "This man is ungrateful. He took advantage of me in bed yesterday and now he wants to take advantage of me on the sofa. "

A cattle butcher went to the pig butcher's house, but his son wanted to hide the word "kill the pig" and returned to the cloud: "My family went to sea." The man who slaughtered the cow came back, told his son about it and praised him, and his son understood. The next day, the pig killer came, and his son returned to the cloud and said, "My father made a fool of himself." Q: "When will you come back?" Answer: "I will come back naturally after making a fool of myself."

If the sister-in-law walks forward and the skirt is caught in the hip seam, the uncle will pull it from behind. Seeing this, the eldest sister-in-law suspected that she was flirting, so she was furious. Uncle bowed down and said, "Sister-in-law, please calm down. Why don't you tighten up while Uncle Yu is still stuffing you? "

My brother was sick and offered sacrifices to God, and my sister-in-law received sacrifices. My uncle secretly pinched my sister-in-law's arm. Sister-in-law said angrily, "How many pieces of fat do you eat?" My brother heard this in bed and shouted, "My brother is not serious. Your sister-in-law should stay here and make friends with others. "

When a person goes out on New Year's Day, he says, "It's great to make a profit on the first day." So I wrote a word "Ji" on the table. If you don't want to go to several houses, you can't have a cup of tea. He read the word "Ji" backwards for a long time and said, "I wrote the word" dry mouth "originally, so naturally I had no food." After another look, he said, "I should have eleven families to moisten my mouth."