wo my joke

1. There was a grenade. One day after it finished eating, it cleaned its teeth and suddenly found a thorn in the middle of the teeth. It pulled it out with force, and it exploded... … 2. Xiao Ming’s father said to Xiao Ming: If you behave well today, your father will take you to the market to watch others eat sweets. -------- 3. Question: Where do users like to shut down their phones the most? Answer: Ningbo (you dial) Q: Why? Answer: "Sorry, the user you dialed has turned off"... -------- 4. There was a person who liked to make phone calls. One day, he hung up. 5. There was a person who felt that his feet were very tight while walking. Sour, he looked down and saw that he had stepped on a lemon! .6. There was a hedgehog who was rowing in a rubber boat. The rubber boat burst and he drowned. -------- .7. Once upon a time, there was a polar bear. Because the snow was too harsh, he had to wear sunglasses to see. But he couldn't find the sunglasses, so he crawled around on the ground with his eyes closed. I crawled and crawled until my hands and feet were dirty before I found the sunglasses. After putting on my sunglasses and looking in the mirror, I realized: Oh, it turns out I am a panda. 8. There are two monsters, a red monster and a green monster. It takes 3 bullets to kill a red monster, and only 1 bullet to kill a green monster. Now you have a pistol in your hand with only 2 bullets in it. How do you kill two monsters? Of course, first use 1 bullet to kill the green monster. The red monster turned blue with fright, and then use the remaining 1 bullet to kill it. 9. Once upon a time, there was a person named Xiaocai, who was taken away. 10. Xiao Ming signed up for an eloquence training class. On the first day of class, the teacher asked the students to introduce themselves and explain their motivation for joining the training class. When it was Xiao Ming's turn to speak, Xiao Ming was speechless for a long time, and finally blurted out: "Now you know why I want to participate in the eloquence training class!" Day 1 Little Rabbit: Are there any carrots here? Boss: No. The next day, the little rabbit came to the store again. Little Rabbit: Are there any carrots here? Boss: No. On the third day, the little rabbit came to the store again. Little Rabbit: Are there carrots for sale here? The boss said angrily: No! If you ask again I will hit you with a hammer! On the fourth day, the little rabbit came to the store again. Little Rabbit: Boss, do you have a hammer here? Boss: No. Little Rabbit: Do you have any carrots here? Boss: @#￥%... ☆Once upon a time, two people accidentally made a counterfeit 15 dollar bill. So they decided to take it to remote mountainous areas and spend it. Later, they met an old man selling candied haws on a stick and bought a bunch for one yuan. They cried after taking the old man's change. The old man found two tickets worth 7 yuan. ☆The little white rabbit met the big bad wolf. The little white rabbit said: "Big bad wolf, big bad wolf, please ask me if I am the little white rabbit. Ask me quickly!!!" The big bad wolf said: "You are Not the little white rabbit?" The little white rabbit was very happy: "Yes, I am the little white rabbit!" Then~ the little white rabbit said: "Big bad wolf, please ask me if I am a giraffe. ! Ask quickly! !” The big bad wolf was helpless: “Okay! Are you a giraffe?” The little white rabbit slapped him on the back of the head! I’m a little white rabbit! !” ☆One day, the three little pigs built three huts to avoid being chased by the big bad wolf. The big bad wolf effortlessly destroyed the thatched house, the wooden house, and the brick house. The three little pigs ran as fast as they could, but they were still caught up by the big bad wolf. The three little pigs said desperately: "You have to figure it out. We gave up, whatever you want!" At this time, the big bad wolf smiled evilly and said with saliva: "Then tell me where Little Red Riding Hood is!?" ☆ I heard this from a friend yesterday. He said that someone on the forum asked a question, saying that if you found that the rope was broken when you were halfway down bungee jumping, what would you shout if you could only shout two words? There were a lot of replies, and most of them were "Holy shit" and "profiteer", "Oh my God", "Mom" and the like. When I saw the reply from the oldest brother, I was completely shocked! The eldest brother replied with the word "transformation"! ! ! ☆Meeting a female ghost at night It was already late at night, and a taxi driver decided to pick up one more passenger and go home, but there were not many people on the road.

The driver was driving aimlessly when he noticed a white figure shaking in front of him, waving to him. It was unnatural to have people in the otherwise peaceful night. Moreover, this situation had to remind people of something they didn't want to think of. , that’s a ghost! ! ! But in the end, the driver decided to pull her away. The man got into the car and said in a miserable and hoarse voice: "Please come to the crematorium." The driver shuddered. Could it be that she really... He couldn't think about it any more, and he didn't dare to think about it any more. He regretted it very much, but now he could only send her to her destination quickly. The woman's face was delicate and pale, and she was speechless all the way, which made people's hair stand on end. The driver really couldn't continue driving. When he was very close to where she was going, he made an excuse and stammered: "Miss, I'm so sorry. It's hard to turn around in front. You can walk there by yourself. It's already very close." It's close." The woman nodded and asked, "How much is that?" The driver quickly said, "Forget it, forget it, it's not easy for you to come here so late, forget it!" "That's it!" the driver insisted. The woman couldn't resist, "Well, thank you!" After saying that, she opened the car door... The driver turned around to start the car, but didn't hear the door closing, so he turned around... Why did the woman disappear so quickly? Already? He looked at the back seat and saw nothing! Not on the front, left, right, or back of the car! Did she just disappear? Because of the driver's curiosity, he wanted to find out. He got out of the car and came to the door that was not closed. "Did that woman just leave so quickly, or was she just..." He was about to collapse. Just as he was about to After leaving here, a bloody hand patted his shoulder. He turned around, and the woman stood in front of him with her face covered in blood and spoke. "Master! Please don't park next to the ditch when you park your car next time..." ☆I'll tell you a ghost story, and it's scary! On a quiet moonlit night, a traveler in the mountains unfortunately lost his way. Just when he was hungry, cold and exhausted, he finally found a thatched house far ahead. He happily ran forward, knocked on the door, and shouted loudly: "Is anyone there? Then an old lady came out to answer the door. After the travelers explained their purpose, the old lady kindly gave them He gave the traveler a box of lunch and promised to stay at Grandma's house that night. When the traveler woke up the next morning, he was surprised to find that there was no thatched house around him, let alone any old man. The old lady was dead, but the traveler was not afraid. He was still very grateful to the old lady, thinking that she was the incarnation of a Bodhisattva who came to save people in trouble. So he worshiped at the spot and finally left after a long journey with gratitude. Back in the village. After returning, he told everyone about this story. After a long time, someone finally said: "That grandma you mentioned, she passed away three years ago. When the traveler heard this, he secretly screamed something bad, and suddenly felt a sharp pain in his body, and shouted: "It's not good...I,...I...I have eaten...expired food" Lunchbox! ”