Emotions convey energy

In my home, I can hear accusations and curses early in the morning, and it can last from morning to night, or an emotional war without gunpowder may suddenly break out. This is very important to me. It was a daily routine, which made me very distressed because it was far from the family atmosphere I expected. In my children, I saw the shadow of this kind of criticism from my family.

In the past, when my family members expressed their emotions, I would fight back against them, which made everyone feel more and more distant from each other.

It turns out that my family members’ accusing actions and complaints all came from his past. Being treated like this by others will lead to such behavior. All behaviors in the world have only two purposes, to express love or to request love, no matter what you or the people around you are doing? What can I say? It seems so excessive and unreasonable. At the end of the day, the motive here is not to give love, but to ask for love. So when a family member behaves like this, I see that behind him there is more of me. He is weak, needs a sense of security, and is very fearful. He cannot give you what he does not have, which is a sign of lack of love.

In the previous generation of parents, their energy could only sustain three meals a day, and there was no extra energy to respond and satisfy their children. They had done their best to give what they thought was good. Give children a heart of love and full responsibility. They are loving the children in a way they recognize.

Adults transform their emotions:

First, be aware of the emotions.

Second, understand emotions.

Third, express emotions. Express anger, rather than express anger

1. Tell the facts: My mother-in-law came up early in the morning to help Auntie take care of the baby. I felt it was unfair, so I took care of the child silently until my mother-in-law came back from going out at noon. While chatting with her, I told the truth about the child.

2. Tell me how you feel: I told my mother-in-law that it was really hard for me to take care of the child all night, and it made me sad to hear the child cry (understand my own feelings and express my emotions).

3. Put forward your own needs: I said I hope someone can help me, and my mother-in-law gave me advice very worriedly.

4. Make a specific request: Can you buy some medicine for me? After hearing this, my mother-in-law immediately went to buy me medicine

I felt very comfortable at that time. Describing the facts without labeling or judgment can resolve many things

While eating dinner, My son’s speech was a bit unclear, but when I translated his words, he had a different meaning. My mother-in-law laughed haha, and I couldn’t stop laughing. I also like this atmosphere very much. When I saw my mother-in-law laughing, I couldn’t help but laugh. You're not complaining to me, I'm even happier. Two days ago, my father-in-law's clothes had a hole in them, and I was sewing them. My mother-in-law saw it and said he didn't sew well, so she grabbed it and sewed it herself. I came down and saw it. , pinched my mother-in-law’s shoulder and said: Wow! My mother-in-law is very kind to my father-in-law. My mother-in-law loves my father-in-law very much. My mother-in-law couldn’t stop laughing after hearing this, but my father-in-law remained silent?

This joke made everyone in the dining room very happy, hahahahaha, I created a happy atmosphere and felt very accomplished. , nourishing each other, and happiness contagious to each other.

When I talked about my childhood, I often climbed trees to catch cicadas. Just like a boy, when I talked about the games I played when I was a kid, it aroused everyone’s screams. Everyone was also together, recalling the games I played when I was a kid. In the process of talking, everyone smiled happily and recalled the joy of childhood! Yes, there are ups and downs, joys and sorrows in life. Let’s play life. Life is a huge playground!