Short and humorous hilarious jokes

A collection of short, humorous and hilarious jokes

Text is like an elf, as long as you use it well, it will produce unexpected effects. So whether we speak or write, we must use words well. As long as you can use it accurately and flexibly, it will make your language full of vitality and brilliance. Below, I will share with you some short, humorous and hilarious jokes. I hope it will be helpful to you!

Short, humorous and hilarious jokes 1

1. A friend took the IELTS, and in the speaking test, when he got the oral statement question, he habitually said "My day". As a result, the examiner knew a little Chinese, so he asked him what he meant. He said, "日" means that Chinese people use the power of the sun to motivate themselves...

2. Can you please stop adding jealousy when you speak ill of me? I thought it was cooking.

3. Suddenly I heard someone knocking on the door in the middle of the night. I opened the door and saw a young man delivering food standing outside the door with a lot of delicious food. I said, "You must have made a mistake. I didn't order takeout." "I know that." The young man said, "This is what one of your Weibo friends asked me to show you. This is what he got tonight." I want to eat delicious food, but his phone is broken and he can’t post it on Weibo.”

4. A lady is an unevolved Pikachu. A gentleman is a wolf in wool.

5. Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately, he killed all his students in the end.

6. You are the sun in the sky, and I am the mountains on the earth; you are the moon in the sky, and I am the ocean on the earth; you are the crow flying in the sky, and I am the earthly dog ??chasing after you. Chase.

7. When the sky falls, you hold it up, and I hold you up!

8. The tragedy of life is that after a night of hard work, you have a beautiful dream with beautiful content, and the next day When I woke up in the morning, I couldn’t remember anything!

9. My younger brother went to play basketball in a certain elementary school and heard a girl in the lower grade ask a boy in the lower grade: "Do you love me or not?" The boy was helpless. Said: "My mother gave me 3 yuan a day, and you used two and a half yuan to buy snacks. Do you think I love you or not?" Short and humorous jokes 2

1. More than love What makes people crazy is lovelorn.

2. You look like an idiot from the left, a fool from the right, a pig from the top, and a donkey from the bottom.

.Hitting is love, scolding is love, if love is not enough, kick it!

4. I am not a bone, I cannot let every dog ??chase me

5. Zhuge Liang directs the battle. , each time he rode a chariot alone to follow the army. Once in a battle, Liang took the lead in driving towards the enemy. The morale of the army was greatly boosted, and he followed closely and defeated the enemy. Praise: "The military advisor is brave!" Liang said: "Ah, the slope is too steep, I didn't stop the car..."

6. If I can still remember you in the next life, it must be that I didn't die thoroughly enough in this life. .

7. Being mean is also an art, let’s improve this art together!

8. While walking today, the uncle in front of me took his mobile phone from his trouser pocket. When I was there, I lost two hundred yuan. I stopped him and told him that he had lost his money. He turned to look at me in horror and walked away quickly. Then I had two weeks of pocket money. Good people have good things. Do you want to report? 2. I went to the bank to withdraw money in the morning. There were a lot of people. I took the number 48 and was called the number 9. I was sitting down to rest. A girl next to me smiled and dreamed of Zhou Gong. She was holding the number 14 in her hand. I felt that now The young man was really short of sleep. In order to give her enough sleep, she quietly changed our number to hide her merits and reputation.

9. I am usually willing to stay with you. The one who quarrels is the one who really loves you!

10. There is a girl named "Jiao Wa" in my sister's dormitory, who is petite and cute. I like to eat apples. I have a "Kava" who is in good shape, and my sister is called "Calabash" because she snores in her sleep.

1. July 20, 1969, NASA. Astronaut Armstrong opened the door of the lunar module and walked out slowly along the ladder. Then he left the first human footprints on the lunar surface and said the famous saying: "Sofa."

”

2. When I was riding the bus, I saw a beautiful woman coming up with big and small bags. It was very dangerous to hold on to the handrails without spare hands, so I stood up decisively and offered my seat to the beautiful woman, and the beautiful woman happily accepted it. , I didn’t expect the beauty to get off at the same stop. When I got off the bus, she asked me if she could help me carry my things home. I said yes without hesitation. There will be good news!

3. Girls in the Chinese Department fantasize about love, girls in the Mathematics Department calculate love, girls in the History Department criticize love, and girls in the Foreign Languages ??Department talk about love.

4. .Don’t use your identity as a commoner to tell me the story of the Black Society.

5. Listen to your words and save me ten books!

6. My wife has to work overtime this weekend. My wife said, “You don’t have to give it away, I’ll ride the electric bike myself. "I said, "Are you sure?" My wife said, "My driving skills are very good!" I said, "Yes, as long as there is no big turntable, you will always arrive at the work unit." My wife said, "What do you mean?" Said: "What if you get to the big carousel and go home again!"

7. Even if my heart is the liver and lungs of a donkey, it is enough to feed a dog's stomach.

8. There is a strong female colleague in the company, who is sexy, plump and beautiful. When we were discussing weight loss in the office, I interrupted with a bad mouth: "Don't lose weight, it's good now? It feels good! You haven't touched me yet." You know? Everyone laughed. I was a little embarrassed: I haven't touched you and you haven't touched anyone else! I'm different from others. I don't believe you touch me! Everyone was in an uproar. I stuttered: I'll find time in the future... I'm thinking about when to implement it.

9. The two brothers went to a restaurant for a meal. After ordering, the boss served the dishes immediately, and each pot of vegetables was very generous. The two brothers were so full that they couldn't eat anymore. Brother After taking the last bite of the dish, my teeth fell out. My brother shouted: "Boss, what's in your dish is so hard? My brother's teeth were broken!" The boss said: "Eat slowly." Let’s cut the cost of this table in half!” The brothers also agreed. When they got home, the elder brother looked in the mirror and was shocked: “I haven’t lost any of my teeth. Whose are the teeth just now?” The younger brother vomited on the spot!

< p> 10. In the hotel, a man’s girlfriend yelled at him angrily: You are the most despicable person in the world! After hearing this, everyone in the store looked at them in surprise, especially It was that man. At this critical moment, the man said loudly to his girlfriend: You scolded him so well! What else did you scold him for? Short and humorous jokes 4

1 "Minister, someone is making trouble." "Coax him out!" "If you can't coax him away," "Then beat him out!"... "Minister, it's over. He beat the person to death. It's an old woman." "..., give her family 50,000 yuan, and call her if she makes trouble again!"... A few days later, the minister called from his hometown. "Gou baby, your mother went to the city a few days ago to see you and had someone beat her to death. She paid five thousand..."

2. I was so worried that I put on my clothes inside out in the morning, and I didn't wear them all day. People told me that I only realized it when I looked in the mirror at night. I wailed, "Why didn't anyone tell me?" When my roommates saw it, they said seriously, "Eun looks much prettier than wearing it." I "..." < /p>

3. "Ah, what a coincidence, I met you again, it's really fate" I said happily to the goddess.

"Get out!" Then the goddess kicked me out of the women's restroom.

4. I found a fortune teller to tell me my fortune. He looked at it and said: "Brother, you must have been born in the early morning." I was very surprised: "How did you calculate it?" So accurate?" He stroked his beard and said, "Because the hours from one to three in the morning are ugly hours."

5. I have used my mobile phone for two years and want to get a new one. I went to discuss with my wife: Wife, your phone is too old. Let’s get a new one! Wife: Okay, let’s change it in one step this time! Me: Haha, thank you, wife. What kind of machine are you going to replace for me? Wife: Old man machine!

6. A boy is very lazy and loves to fantasize. One day, he finally had no clothes to change, so he put all the dirty clothes in a big basin to soak. He sat next to him, looked at the clothes in the basin and said, "Good boy, take a bath by yourself!"

7. After a village with inconvenient transportation was supplied with electricity, an investigator was sent to interview the residents and asked whether it would be more convenient for them after the power supply was provided. An old lady said: “I am very grateful to you. From now on, I will no longer have to look for matches in the dark to light my oil lamp.

”

8. Today we: What can’t go up is our grades, what can’t go down is our weight, what we can’t pick up and put down is chopsticks, what we can’t get into is the hot bed… ..

9. When most people are concerned about whether you fly high, only a few people care about whether you are tired from flying.

10. , There are two kinds of evolution: one is from animals to humans, which is natural evolution; the other is from humans to animals to animals, which is social evolution.

11. "Why do you specialize in painting landscapes?" Where's the painting?" "Because there won't be a tree that comes to trouble me, saying that my painting doesn't look like it at all. "

12. There are pieces of cloth in the shop window. You cut it one foot, and he pulls it eight feet... No one has investigated the pieces of cloth that are broken into pieces. But, generally speaking, some of them made hats, some made shorts, some made shoe soles, and some made diapers, rags...

13. Got a cold. , it was very uncomfortable. It was very hot in the summer, but I was very cold. My husband came back, looked at me, and said calmly: Just wait until I turn into a butterfly.

14. Why are the spectators at the Olympic archery competition so civilized? Because they clearly know that they are within the shooting range!

15. During an interview with a post-90s private enterprise owner with assets of over 100 million, he was asked: Success

He said: He was very confused after graduation. He applied for many companies but had no news. Finally, I went home and my dad gave me 2 billion.

16. Once when I was fighting with my classmates, my father chased me and beat me wildly. My mother grabbed my father and said, "Stop beating me. I see you are sweating profusely." I finally breathed a sigh of relief, but my mother took out the belt and said, "Let me do it." 5 Short and Humorous Jokes

1. The husband is going to work. Wife: "I know I have to go to work every day, can you accompany me." Husband: "I want to make money!" Wife: "Okay, okay, okay, You go to work and you don’t know who is in the class? She’s so mean, you pay her for having sex every day!”

2. Wife: If you don’t go to wash your feet, I’ll be angry! My husband is very Reluctantly, he looked away from the computer screen and said to his wife: Don't be angry in the future, just have babies.

3. There is a popular saying on the Internet recently. Jack Ma is the richest man. He has 150 billion. There are 1.3 billion people in China. If he gives us 100 million each, we are all billionaires. He still has 148.7 billion, and he is still the richest man. I was deeply moved by this sentence.

4. I took a taxi to my friend’s house. I dozed off for a while on the way, but the driver took a detour of 30 yuan and turned it into 80 yuan! I said proudly: "Brother, I’ll give you 100 yuan. No need to look for it." !” The driver looked around in the car and said, “Where is the money? Where did you put it?” I got off the car and ran, shouting to the driver: “I told you not to look for it, you can’t find it if you look for it!”

5. During the exam, the invigilator used the deskmate’s auntie towel with 2cm of underwear leaking out as a cheat sheet and pulled it out on the spot...

6. The security door of my house was broken two days ago. , call the manufacturer. After half an hour, the technicians couldn't get it open no matter what they did. I had no choice but to call 110 to call the police. When the police came, they brought a thief they had just caught and said, "Hurry up. I'll give you ten minutes. I'm still in a hurry to get off work." The thief looked at the lock and said, "No need." "It's only five minutes." After a while, the door opened. I saw the manufacturer's technicians look ugly!

7. The retired husband and wife felt very lonely sitting at home, so they decided to call a young couple they knew to see what they were doing. After a while, the wife put down the phone and said, "I'm chatting while drinking coffee. How about we do the same thing." The husband said, "Okay, let's make a pot of coffee." Soon, they made coffee and sat down. Big eyes stare at small eyes. The husband said: "Let's make another phone call and see what they are talking about."

8. There is a 6-year-old cousin at home. He is super precocious and has saved a lot of personal money. It was her father's birthday yesterday. She knocked on her father's door early in the morning and said seriously, "I heard they said today is your birthday. I don't have anything to give you. I'll give you 100 yuan and you can buy a cake like the one I had for my birthday!" Her father was stunned for three seconds and then burst into tears and said: Your mother only gave me 10 yuan at a time. Now she is showing off everywhere that she is really his daughter!

9. There is a parent-teacher meeting at school.

Xiao Ming failed the exam and was afraid that his father would beat him. After thinking hard, he quickly made a placard and went to the labor market. The sign reads: Recruiting temporary fathers for parent-teacher meetings, price negotiable!

10. The husband comes home from get off work. I saw a box of cakes on the table with three candles on it. He asked: "Whose birthday is it?" The wife next to him replied coldly: "It's the dress I'm wearing. It's 3 years old today!"

11. One day the young man asked the master: Master, I am three years old. Can you tell me why I haven’t found a girlfriend at ten? The master didn’t say anything, but took out a piece of lotus root and took a bite. Young man: Oh, I understand, please let me be more attentive! Master: Your sister is attentive, come and say to me, Eat Lotus Root Chou!

12. Remember my wife called me last weekend I came over and said, "Buy more delicious food and drinks outside. Don't treat yourself badly." I said, "Honey, don't worry, I will take care of myself. Don't worry about me." But I felt very sad in my heart. Bitter: "You have your salary card. You don't know how much you give me a month. What do you want me to buy and eat?"

13. I watched a movie in a private room at an Internet cafe last night. I bought a bottle of Nutritional Express drink and put it next to me. While I was drinking, I saw the funny point and couldn't help but spray it all over the computer screen. When I was wiping with a tissue, the door suddenly opened. I will never forget the look in the network administrator's eyes at that time!

14. My surname is Nie. I just went to the airport to pick up a customer. After meeting, the customer greeted me very warmly. Come over and shake hands: Hello, Mr. Nie! Hello! At this time, his secretary looked at me with a strange look... Your sister! You are the bastard, and your whole family is bastard!

15. Studying in junior high school At that time, there was a buddy who was very naughty and was often punished by the class teacher to kneel down and get his butt kicked, but this guy never said a word. When we asked him if he was okay, we always said: "It's okay, it doesn't hurt, it's his dad who was beaten anyway!" We always thought he was so brave when he said it!... Until later when we went to the toilet together, he took off his underwear and tied it behind his buttocks. I was shocked when I took out a photo! I really don’t know how he did it. The photo is really the head teacher’s father!

16. I remember that a Japanese bought fruits when he visited China last month. . I saw him pick up a cherry and said: "Your Chinese apples are several times smaller than our Japanese apples." Then he said: "Your Chinese watermelons are several times smaller than our Japanese watermelons." As a result, the shop owner was furious. Come out and say: "These are grapes."

17. I went to a classmate's house to play. His mother fell asleep and his father worked overtime. I got addicted to smoking at night, so I ran to the kitchen secretly to smoke in the dark. Who knew her mother woke up and went to the bathroom! "Where is my son?" His mother asked. I was so frightened at that time that she probably thought I was his father. Wisely, I pointed the cigarette butt at my classmate's bedroom. My mother understood, and went to the bathroom in the dark. I thought I had escaped, but unexpectedly, when my mother came out, she hugged me from behind and said, "Damn it~"

18. When I was in high school, Going home from school requires passing through a mountain road. One day, I had a stomachache on the road. I saw no one was around, so I took off my pants and stretched them on the roadside. Suddenly a female classmate walked up the curve. In desperation, I slipped up the steep slope and hid in the grass. I was nervous when a fighting goat suddenly rolled down from the top of the slope. Under the huge impact, the goat and I rolled from the hillside to the side of the road. The female classmate suddenly saw me with my bare buttocks and holding a goat. The sheep screamed and ran away... Later, the news that I fucked the goat spread in the school.

19. One day, a young man came to the master. Young man: "Master, I dreamed last night that I became the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Can you tell me what it means?" Master: "Well, dreams are reversed." Young man: "Master, are you saying that I am straight? ?" Master: "No, I said you are Sabi." Short and humorous jokes 6

1. I met an old man who fainted on the road and immediately sent him to the hospital because he didn't have much money with him at the time. So I called my girlfriend. As soon as she entered the ward, she scolded me: "You are mentally ill, why are you meddling in your own business!" When she saw the old man on the hospital bed, she was shocked: "Dad!" The old man looked at my girlfriend and said to me. : "Young man, you are a nice person. Listen to me and break up with my daughter."

2. My son failed in the high school entrance examination and was scolded by his wife. I went to comfort my son: "You have to study hard and you must surpass your father in the future." The son was stunned for a moment and then said weakly: "I can't guarantee anything else! However, it is still very good to find a better wife than you in the future. Sure.

”

3. The class teacher said: When you threw away the food, have you ever thought about how sorry you are for the hardworking uncle farmers? A classmate stood up and said: The dishes cooked by the auntie who cooks in the canteen are also sorry for the uncle farmers. Fresh vegetables can make such delicious dishes, how can there be no leftovers! The pork she fried made me feel that the pig died unjustly!

4. When I was in high school, boys and girls would do it at night. When they climbed over the wall to go online, the girls couldn't climb up the wall. A group of boys rushed to hug their thighs and push up with their shoulders and buttocks. When classmate Guo Laosan heard about this good thing, he came to join in the fun at night. Unexpectedly, all the beautiful girls were beaten. After the robbery was over, the guy had no choice but to push up against a fat girl in a skirt. After he finished pushing, Guo Laosan touched his head, looked at the blood on his hand, and cried loudly. Later, the classmates carried him. When the hospital was bandaging, the doctor couldn't find the wound!

5. I took my girlfriend and passed by the Civil Affairs Bureau, and I said to her: "Otherwise, you can go up with me to get a certificate. "My girlfriend thought about it and nodded. After going upstairs, I happily received my People's Liberation Army and the National Low-income Guarantee.

6. I felt sad when I lost my love in high school. I went back to the dormitory to watch When my roommate was watching the movie, I sat down. The more I thought about it, the sadder I became and I started sobbing. After hearing this, my roommate turned around blankly and said: No... no, you watch it first.

7. Brother. He is going to go abroad for training for half a year, and he is worried about his beautiful girlfriend. He invited me to drink last night... "Brother, you are renting a house anyway. Check out the house and live in my house. You can help me look after her." I felt like Warmth flowed from the lower back and she held his hand tightly: "Don't worry, brother! I promise not to let other men touch her!"

8. These days, men think that the more beautiful the lover is, the more beautiful the watch is. The better, the more secretive the pocket watch for Xiaomi, the better; the fresher the better for Miss, the electronic watch; the automatic watch for my wife will still run even if it doesn’t wind up. I want all kinds of watches, but I have to master the time!

9 .A few days ago at work, a young colleague asked for a large bottle of Sprite and poured it around for everyone. When it was his turn, the bottle was empty, so the colleague shook the Sprite bottle and said to the waiter: "Do you still have this?" The waiter ran over, took the bottle, checked it carefully, and said sincerely: "No more." "

10. When Xiao Ming came home from the exam, his mother asked him: "How was the test?" Xiao Ming said: "Only one question was wrong." His mother asked: "What question?" Xiao Ming said: "Question 3 What does it equal to 7 times?" Mom asked: "What does it equal to you?" Xiao Ming said: "I didn't care at that time and waited for 20.9!"

11. The couple went out riding a tandem bicycle. After the two of them trudged up a steep slope, the husband panted and said, "This slope is really steep and difficult to climb. I'm exhausted!" The wife echoed, "Isn't it? If I hadn't been holding the brakes tightly, we would have slid down long ago. "

12. Wife: What do you think about sex? Husband: No opinion, but there are many ways to do it.

13. One day, a classmate's girlfriend came to the dormitory to find him. Just Whenever he had something to do, his girlfriend would sit on his bed and wait for him. Since she had nothing to do, she would look around and see a handwritten calligraphy couplet hanging on the bedside: The garden is full of flowers, and one person can enjoy the endless joy alone. . The woman thought to herself: “I didn’t expect that he could also do calligraphy and like to appreciate flowers. "I was secretly happy in my heart, and my eyes moved up unconsciously, but my face suddenly turned pale. I saw a horizontal comment: Long live the harem!

14. Introduced my boyfriend to my best friend, and made an appointment with my best friend at the subway station. When I saw my boyfriend, in order to make my best friend think that I was very close to him, I wanted to rush over and give him a hug, but my foot slipped and I fell forward, hugging my boyfriend's thigh in panic. Then tragedy happened. My boyfriend I'm short-sighted, so he didn't recognize me at the time, but he actually swung his legs and backed away and said: No money, no money, go away!

15. Xiao Zhang has just been promoted to the vice president of the hotel and is excited. Unexpectedly, when he came home late at night and entered the room in the dark, he excitedly shouted: "I am the deputy general manager!" At this time, his wife said on the bed: "Go to bed, your subordinate Xiao Zhang will be back soon. ”

16. On the train, a man and a woman met by chance, but the problem was that they were sleeping in the same sleeper car. Of course it was awkward at first, but soon, fatigue made them fall asleep, and the man fell asleep. The man sleeps on the upper bunk and the woman sleeps on the bottom bunk.

In the middle of the night, the man woke up and woke up the woman sleeping on the lower bunk: "I'm sorry, but I'm freezing to death up there. Could you please pass me another blanket?" The woman looked at the man with eyes. During the activity, he said to the man: "I have a better idea. How about we pretend to be husband and wife?" The man was stunned for a moment, but then agreed: "Okay, great, I really didn't expect it! "He was obviously a little excited and overwhelmed, "So what should we do now?"...

17. The husband and wife are at odds, each sleeps alone, does not talk to each other, and writes notes when something happens. One day, the husband left a note for his wife, saying that I had to go to work and to call me at 7 o'clock tomorrow. He placed it beside his wife's bed and fell asleep peacefully. The next day, when I woke up, it was already 8 o'clock. He was very angry and ran to question his wife. The wife who ran away looked in her room and found that her wife was already gone. I had no choice but to go back to my room and found a note on my pillow, which said damn it, it was already 7:30 and I still couldn’t get up.

18. In order to borrow the banana fan, Sun Wukong used a trick to get into the belly of Princess Iron Fan. Look at the following dialogue, Wukong: "Sister-in-law, I am already inside you." Princess Iron Fan: "You Come out soon. Uncle, I can't stand it anymore...Wukong: "Sister-in-law, I'm coming out soon, please open your mouth." "Princess Iron Fan: "Obstruction" The Bull Demon King heard it outside the door and left a divorce agreement... From then on, he left for a foreign country. Short and humorous jokes 7

1. Take your wife to go hiking in the pavilion on the top of the mountain. Rest. I hugged my wife affectionately and kissed her, but she suddenly said: Brother-in-law, don’t do this! So many people were staring at me.

2. Wife: You have a problem with sex. What do you think? Husband: No, there are many ways to do it. Wife: Do you think it’s okay for me to wear a bikini to this beach party? Husband: No! Others will think you got married because of my money. Wife: : Husband! Is my hair ugly? Husband: No. Your ugliness has nothing to do with your hair. Wife: Come and see if I have broken hands? Husband: No need to look, it is definitely there. Wife: Why? Husband: Otherwise, why would my life be ruined in your hands? Wife: Boss, a bottle of rice wine for my husband. Boss: Is one bottle enough? Your husband is famous for his drinking capacity... < /p>

3. A couple has been married for many years. Suddenly one day, the wife asked her husband: "Do you like my beauty or my cuteness?" The husband replied: "I just like your humor."

4. The wife bought a lottery ticket and said to her husband: "If I win the lottery, I will buy a dress." "The husband asked: "What if you don't win?" The wife said: "Then you can buy it for me!"

5. Husband: I shaved in the morning and I felt 10 years younger! Wife: Humph! If that’s the case, I should shave before going to bed. Wife: Husband, don’t I look like a mother in this dress? Husband: No, I don’t look like a parent. Husband: If I didn’t make a lot of money, Where is this home? Wife: You are right, if I didn’t have money, I would not enter this home.

6. One day, I had dinner and exercised in the square of the community. , there was also a beautiful girl exercising in the spacewalk next to me, and I started chatting with her. The conversation was very interesting, and it felt like we had just met at a late date. At this time, a child of about 3 years old appeared out of nowhere. I kept shouting from a distance: "Dad, Dad!" She and I turned around to look. I said to her, "Whose child is this? He's probably looking for his dad!" She said, "It's possible. Is the child separated from his family?" We continued chatting. Unexpectedly, the child walked up to me and hugged my thigh tightly. I immediately said to her: "Whose child is this? It's so cute!" At this time, the child said again: "Daddy, daddy. ” Short and humorous jokes 8

1. Xiao Ming just met a black master. One night, Xiao Ming went to the master’s house to ask questions, but the master’s house had a power outage. Xiao Ming said: Master, you are laughing, you are not Laughing, I can’t find you. The master said: Silly boy, it’s useless, I just ate Oreos...

2. After most of the class, Xiao Ming staggered away. Entering the classroom, the teacher asked: Where did you go? Xiao Ming said: You went to the toilet.

The teacher pointed at Xiao Ming's head and said: Don't lie to me. What's the matter with the sweat on your head? Xiao Ming held it in for a while and said: Teacher, I'm constipated and I can't get rid of the sweat on my head...

3. Xiao Ming felt that the food cooked by his mother was not delicious, so Xiao Ming’s mother specially signed up for a training class. After a few months, Xiao Ming’s mother used taekwondo to beat Xiao Ming to eat obediently!

4. Xiao Ming He bravely rescued his friend who fell into the ice cave on the thin ice. Everyone praised Xiao Ming for his bravery. Xiao Ming replied leisurely: There is no way, who let him wear the new skates I bought today... < /p>

5. The teacher asked: Come on, Xiao Ming, tell me why your history volume is blank? Xiao Ming said aggrievedly: Old...Teacher, I don’t want to tamper with history. Short and humorous jokes 9

1. The neighbor’s child’s 100-day banquet. As a neighbor, Mr. Wang, I participated in this birthday celebration. I was so happy that I sang my best song: I planted a flower. The seeds finally grew into fruit...I wiped it...I won’t say it anymore, the bleeding from the beating hasn’t stopped yet!

2. A buddy’s surname is Wang, and everyone calls him jokingly He was called "Lao Wang next door". One day he finally told him that he was worried. After holding back, he calmly said to us: From now on, you can call me Lao Wang! Later... we called him "Old Bastard..." .Old bastard"

3. Lao Wang often quarreled with his wife. When they quarreled, his wife would go to her parents' home. Lao Wang didn't care. After a few days, he came back. Over time, he got used to it. One day He quarreled with his wife again. After thinking about it, he felt sorry for his wife, so he went to his parents' house to pick her up. When he arrived at her parents' house, his father-in-law said: You guys come back after not seeing each other for several months. What's wrong? Your wife didn't come back with you?

4. On the way home from get off work, I saw my little nephew playing with a boy and a girl. The little girl said: I play mom and you play daddy... Then she pointed at the little nephew and said: You play Lao Wang next door, the important thing is that those two naughty kids actually agreed! 10 Short, Humorous and Hilarious Jokes

1. Now that I have graduated, I still remember who was in the junior dormitory opposite us. I saw him at night Seniors with exposed breasts and underpants were hanging out in the dormitory. Damn, it was really unethical. I took my roommate's telescope and gritted my teeth and watched it for a whole year, which made me skinny now...

2. When I was in school, the people in the dormitory were very naughty. I didn’t know where my friends got Viagra. I was too young at the time, so I took it at the instigation of my roommate...

3. I have caught a cold these days, and my girlfriend comes to my dormitory to see me every day, which makes my roommates jealous. Once, my buddy asked me: Did you kiss your girlfriend when you had a cold? I said: No, I am afraid of infecting her. My buddy patted me and said: Well, then I feel relieved... I never expected that so many people care about me. I am so happy.

4. A girl walked to school very late, but was stopped by a man. The girl took the initiative to lift up her skirt, and the man took off his pants... The girl returned to the dormitory and said this I told my roommate about the incident, and the roommate asked the result in surprise. The girl said: Which one runs faster, a woman who lifts up her skirt or a man who takes off his pants?

5. I vaguely remember. Last winter, I didn't want to get up to go to school in the morning, so I asked my dormitory classmates to help me ask for leave. I just asked him to make up an excuse... The next day, the news of my heat stroke spread in the class... ;