Return the responsibility of the child to the child and let the child take responsibility for himself.

Teacher Li Songwei said: "Cultivating responsible children is the ultimate goal of family education. If you want to get rid of the troubles caused by children's problems, you must first distinguish the responsibilities. Only when children fully assume their responsibilities, you will be relaxed and labor-saving. On the contrary, if you work harder than your child to solve this problem, you are responsible for your child. "

Seeing this sentence today, I look back at Yuan Jing's performance. In the first grade of primary school, she is basically responsible for studying, living and watching TV.

I remember one night in the last semester of Senior One, Yuan Jing finished her math homework. I asked her, "Do you want to finish washing underwear (mom gave this task to Yuan Jing shortly after the next level) or do you want to wash before playing?"

"Play for a while first"

"Good, then you play first, dad mops the floor first, and mom will be right back."

"Wait a minute, I want to write it down."

"Write what?" I'm a little confused.

"What do you do first, and then?"

Oh, I suddenly realized that I was secretly happy again. Before that, I will quietly write down what I want to do on paper to remind her to do it. Fortunately, I guided her to make a list and make a demonstration of the plan, which achieved results.

"Well, that's a good idea. Dad will find you a piece of paper and a pen. "

Then, Jingyuan sat on the edge of the tea table and began his plan for tonight.

Looking at Jingyuan's seriousness, I am very happy. I'm thinking, this is also a practice method for her to write new words and pinyin since school.

After a while, Jingyuan showed me her plan.

1、? Put the book away first.

2、? Fold clothes.

3、? Pick up colored paper

It's a little mistake, but it's really great to write it down yourself. I gave her positive affirmation and praise in time.

"Well, that's nice. Much better than when dad was a child. When dad was your age, he couldn't write. "

"Really?"

"Of course it's true!"

Then I smiled happily, took my own arrangement into the room and started my "work".

The work was done seriously, not only the above tasks were completed as planned, but also the floor was swept, delayed and overfulfilled.

Seeing this result, my heart is also beautiful.

Once by accident, twice by necessity.

On this last Sunday night, Jingyuan has to clean the room, put away books, put toys, sweep the floor and mop the floor, and give her mother the task of cleaning the table.

At that time, Jingyuan was busy alone, and Ma Bao kept giving me a thumbs-up and came over and asked me in a low voice what was going on. To be honest, I'm confused, too. I don't know what I said, so Jingyuan suddenly began to do housework seriously. And the whole process, done in an orderly way, very seriously.

In fact, if you think about it carefully, Jingyuan's growth is really great, and she has the ability to take responsibility for herself.

1, watch TV

You can also watch TV. After all, it is unrealistic to have no animation in childhood. So when Jingyuan was a small kindergarten class, we began to agree to watch an episode every day (within 30 minutes). This agreement has been going on, but judging from the performance of the children, it is obvious that the temptation of cartoons is greater and the self-control of children is weaker, so I didn't say much, just to satisfy her to watch cartoons within a controllable range and try to control the time she watches cartoons.

This state has lasted for more than a year. Next semester in Jingyuan Middle School, once, she watched the fifth season of Super Flash. At that time, she just started to update. She has watched three episodes, so I want her to stop watching it next time. But she insisted on watching it. In order to achieve her goal, I said to her, "Jingyuan, dad knows you want to watch it very much. So will you watch it tomorrow after watching this episode, or will you insist on watching another episode today and never watch it again?"

"watch another episode"

"Are you sure, watch another episode and never watch cartoons again! ? "I warned you.

"hmm." She answered without looking up.

"Well, just think clearly, then after watching this episode today, you can't watch it anymore." I remind you again.

"hmm"

To my surprise, she really did it this time. She didn't watch cartoons for four days in a row. On the fifth day, I picked her up from school, and she suddenly said, "Dad, I really want to watch cartoons."

"Yes, I also want to see. How did we agree last time? "

"Never watch cartoons again."

"Well, yes."

Then, she went to her room to read. I went to the kitchen and talked to Ma Bao about it. Finally, we made a decision after discussion.

I came out to tell Jingyuan.

"Jingyuan, in watching cartoons, you can do what you say this time, and your performance is really great, so mom and dad discussed it and decided to allow you to watch an episode of cartoons every day on weekends."

Yuan Jing was very happy after listening.

Now it's almost always on weekends, so it's basically because sometimes, she will express her desire to watch cartoons on one day every week.

Is it okay? Of course, the price is that you can't watch the weekend today.

She did it.

2. Study and homework

After primary school, I was also very anxious at first. After all, I have heard many jokes that parents have to accompany their children to do their homework and help them with their homework.

In fact, in the first month or so, I really got angry in writing and pinyin several times. When I get angry, my children will cry, and sometimes I will run to my mother and say that my father is angry.

Later, I learned that homework is a child's business, and I want to return this responsibility to the child. So I started to quit slowly.

Why do you want to understand?

1、? It's really difficult for the child to learn to write and pinyin just now. I tried to write according to the teacher's requirements, and found that I couldn't write well, let alone a child, so I took a step back and wrote first as long as the child could write, and then improved the writing quality.

2、? When writing with children, our adults' expectations and children's performance often conflict, or the expression is not uniform, which leads to the occurrence of emotions, and children will be afraid, wronged and cry. It is not conducive to learning and growth, and making mistakes is for better progress.

After I figured it out, I consciously told Jingyuan that doing homework was her business, and she arranged it herself and was responsible for it. Mom and dad only help her at present, just like when she was a baby, she needed mom and dad to hold her. When she started walking and running, we wanted to hug her, but she wouldn't let us hug her.

In this way, we slowly decentralized, and she became more and more responsible for herself.

Now that I think about it, I have only read her math textbook once. Chinese is widely used because of dictation, but we have never participated in the study, preview and review of teaching materials. She did it alone.

Speaking of which, I may be curious. How did she do it?

The reason is that before going to school, Jingyuan taught herself about 1500 words, read more and understood well.

This is all I can think of.

Well, judging from the test results, I am very satisfied.

In addition, she can be responsible for her shopping behavior, such as snacks and toys.

So, on the whole, Jingyuan can be responsible for his actions now. This is earlier than I expected.